life strategies

  • How to read more every day, a lot more

    If you’re an extremely busy individual like most people are nowadays, you probably have a hard time finding time to read as much as you’d like.

    30 % of people in developed countries haven’t read a single book in the past year. The number is probably even higher because people tend to lie when it comes to the quantity of reading, to seem smarter of course.

    Here are two important facts based on research:

    • Higher educated people read more – they’re more aware of the importance of lifelong learning
    • People who earn more read more – they’re more aware of the power of knowledge

    Especially if you immediately implement what you learn, there is not a single downside to reading. Actually, there are more than 15 benefits of reading. Most ultra-successful people read professionally and personally. And they read a lot.

    But as mentioned, the biggest issues why people don’t read are usually related to time management. You simply run out of time and energy to read.

    That’s why you need a strategy and a system for reading as much as possible every day, before your daily obligations run your batteries empty.

    Don’t rely on your self-discipline when it comes to making time to read. Have a superior reading strategy and system.

    In this article you will learn:

    • How to set up your superior reading strategy and system
    • Why you need triggers and an infostructure that supports your reading habits
    • How to read more every day
    • A few speed reading tricks
    • Other useful tips to become a super reader

    How to read more

    Be a proactive, not a reactive reader

    Stephen Covey presented a very popular idea in management nowadays: the two ways of interacting with the world. One way is the reactive way and the other is proactive.

    Reactive means that you have no system at all, no plan or rational decision-making system, you only react to events that happen to you and so outside forces are the ones setting your agenda. When you operate based on the reactive approach, you are always a step behind, usually seeing yourself as a victim of circumstances.

    With proactive behavior, you take control of the situation.

    You become aware that you always have a choice and that you can always select your unique response to a situation, you set your own goals and put systems in place, you anticipate what could happen in the future and carefully shape your reactions and, last but not least, you create opportunities, not wait for them.

    As in many areas of life, you can be a proactive or a reactive person. In the same way, you can be a reactive or a proactive reader.

    With reactive reading, you most often read poor quality articles (mental masturbation and entertainment), you don’t really read a lot, even if it may seem that way to you, and you may be throwing away money on books you never actually read. Trust me, I’ve been there.

    If you want to read more, you have to become a proactive reader first of all.

    As a proactive reader, you set your own reading goals, enforce new reading habits, create opportunities to read more and make sure you keep the quality of the content you consume. As a proactive reader, you have a set strategy, system and goals for reading, and you don’t get easily distracted.

    If you want to read more, you have to be a proactive, not a reactive reader.

    To better understand the difference between reactive and proactive reading, let’s look at a few examples of reactive reading behavior:

    • You don’t proactively choose what you read, but only react to what appears in your social media newsfeed and you accidentally find interesting.
    • You only read when you really have to, be it for a course you take or because your boss orders you to read a book for better completing a specific task.
    • You only read under rare circumstances when you are really bored for example, because there is no TV show to watch or you are on holiday or traveling; and on holiday, all other people read, so you do it too.
    • You get enthusiastic about a book, buy it and never actually read it. If you have a bunch of books to read in a queue, but you don’t really read many of them, that shows very reactive behavior.
    • You prefer to read online articles with entertainment value rather than real books from which you would benefit in life.
    • You don’t find the time to read, because you have so many other “urgent” things to do.

    Now we arrived to the key question – how can you become a proactive reader?

    Below is a strategy and a system with 17 rules I’ve set for myself to be a proactive reader. It’s not an easy strategy and system to follow, so to be completely honest with you, I follow it around 80 % of the time.

    But it’s enough to be a proactive, not a reactive reader, and to get the most out of my reading experience. If you manage to implement half of them into your life, you will definitely convert from reactive to proactive reading.

    1. Infrastructure to encourage proactive reading
    2. Reading triggers and rewards
    3. Setting reading limits
    4. Superior time management tricks to create time to read
    5. Timeboxing reading periods
    6. Reading when you have more than 2 minutes to kill
    7. Audiobooks
    8. Book summaries
    9. Reading marathons
    10. Limiting reading-in-progress to not get overwhelmed
    11. Properly segmenting content in your reading queue
    12. A “read later” list for content that provokes reactive behavior
    13. Increasing reading speed without losing comprehension
    14. Go to the best knowledge there is
    15. Stop reading if there is no value, and don’t read what you already know
    16. Healthy lifestyle
    17. Reflecting and applying knowledge

    Following any of these rules will enable you to read more and get better results out of your reading investment. Now let’s go into detail for every one of them.

    Infrastructure to encourage proactive reading

    Your behavior and decisions are the consequences of your personality and the environment you operate in.

    Yes, the environment has a great influence on you and your outcomes in life. The part of the environment you operate in that influences your reading behavior is called infostructure.

    Infostructure is a system and a process of how you consume, manage and share information. In the creative society, a quality infostructure has become as important as a quality infrastructure.

    Infostructure can be good or bad. Bad infrastructure leads you to feed your mind with shitty information and good infostructure invites you to feed your mind with quality content on a regular basis.

    Examples of bad infostructure are:

    • Television and radio
    • News (print, online) and most magazines
    • Entertainment, mental masturbation and trashy internet sites
    • Social networks
    • Pub debates

    Examples of good personal infostructure are:

    • Quality books
    • Carefully selected blogs and some magazines (HBR for business, for example)
    • Quality audiobooks
    • Carefully selected podcasts
    • Massive online open courses (MOOCs)
    • Educational videos
    • Seminars, lectures
    • Carefully selected conferences
    • Personal mentor or mastermind group
    • Online and offline discussion groups

    If you want to read more, you have to adjust your personal infostructure.

    In that way, you decrease the transaction costs and discipline necessary to follow good reading habits instead of bad ones.

    It’s the same difference as having crappy food or healthy food in your refrigerator.

    On the practical level, adjusting infostructure from a bad one to a good one includes things like:

    • Have an e-reader next to your bed
    • Have a device with an e-book app like Kindle with you when you are on the go
    • Install reading apps (Kindle, Audible, Feedly, Blinkist etc.) on your mobile phone and tablet, and put them on the first screen
    • Set a system that enables you to listen to audiobooks in your car and on the go
    • Always have headphones with you to listen to audiobooks when you walk, exercise etc.
    • Rearrange your browser bookmark (add Udemy, Lynda, TED talks etc.)
    • Throw out your TV, radio, and unsubscribe from the daily news (paper and digital)
    • Ditch your smartphone if you can’t get disciplined enough to use it for the purposes of advancing in life, not for entertainment
    • Minimize the time spent on social networks etc.

    Reading triggers and rewards

    The first thing you have to know is why you want to read more. There are many benefits of reading and you must find your own strong why that will ensure you stay focused and disciplined.

    If you don’t have a strong why, you can stop reading this article. It can be anything, from becoming smarter, mastering domain knowledge, broadening your horizons, making more money etc.

    Habit 3R
    Source: The Power of Habit. James Clear

    Every habit consists of a reminder (trigger), routine and reward. When you have your why, you need triggers that will push you to the desired behavior or routine – that’s reading in our case.

    The more triggers you have as a cue to open a book and start reading, the more you will read throughout the day.

    These are all examples of potential reading triggers (aka reminders or cues):

    • When you wake up
    • After exercising, stretching or doing yoga
    • While you eat
    • When someone turns on the TV
    • When you want to check your email
    • When you sit on a bus or a train
    • When you sit on the toilet
    • When you have a break at work
    • When you have 2 or more minutes to kill
    • When you go to sleep

    Find a few reading triggers that work best for you.

    For a month or so, push yourself to start reading after a trigger fires, and soon it will become a new positive habit (you’ll do it automatically without any effort) in your life that will bring you many benefits.

    Set reading limits

    The best way to really follow your reading goals is to set hard limits (minimums and maximums) and metrics.

    After you set your limits and reading metrics, you should really commit to them. I mean there should be nothing that can come between you and your daily reading goal.

    There should be nothing that can come between you and your daily reading goal.

    Limits should be set smart, not only as a number on a paper. It should be something you can really follow through and measure without any huge efforts and stress.

    Nevertheless, without metrics you can easily lie to yourself about how much you actually read, and you will be way less committed.

    Here are my reading limits and metrics:

    1. Never go to sleep without reading at least one page of a book
    2. Aim to read 20 – 40 pages per day (ideally 60 – 80 pages, which you should be able to complete in 1 hour)
    3. Perform at least one reading marathon per quarter (reading 2 – 4 books in a row)
    4. Read 50 books per year (that means nearly one book per week, which is a lot)
    5. My maximum limit of mental masturbation activities like TV shows, browsing memes, useless articles etc. is set to 5 hours per week maximum.

    Now think of limits that would work best for you.

    Superior time management tricks to create time to read

    “I don’t have time to read” is a cheap excuse and consequently reactive behavior. Making time to read is proactive behavior.

    Actually, there isn’t a lot you have to do to gain 30 – 60 minutes in your day to read.

    You just need to perform one little time management hack and you will have enough time to read every day. Here are examples of such hacks:

    There is a big probability that if you do only 2 out of 10 things listed above every day, you will create 30 – 60 minutes of time when you can read in peace.

    What you missed by redoing your priorities, you can do a day after. And I guarantee you that you won’t miss anything really important.

    The only thing you have to watch out for is that you don’t get distracted with any other new “urgent” things when you just cancel one of them.

    Not enough? Here are a few additional ideas I practice to read more in life:

    • If you can’t sleep, read
    • If you catch a cold and can’t work, read
    • If you’re pissed off, go exercise and then read
    • Learn while you earn

    Learn when you earn

    “Learn while you earn” is a really cool concept that can help you a lot in progressing quickly in life. You spend 8 to 10 or even more hours at work.

    Your work should always be slightly more demanding than your skills, so you have to learn while you work.

    In order to learn and match your skills to the task, you have to do research, you have to read and upgrade your knowledge and competences.

    So make sure you learn while you earn. Also make sure to work at a company that’s prepared to invest in your knowledge, if you aren’t your own boss.

    Timebox reading periods

    If you want to read more in life, you have to schedule more time to read. It’s as simple as that.

    As we have seen, with appropriate time management you shouldn’t have a problem finding 30 – 60 minutes to really read a book in peace and quiet.

    The best thing to do it is to put it in your calendar right away. Reserving time in your calendar for important things in life is called timeboxing.

    You simply reserve a 60 minutes’ time block, for example, and you can write “time to read” in your calendar for that hour, instead of wasting time it on social networks.

    All you have to do is decide when in your day – early morning, late afternoon, before you go to sleep, when you have a break at work etc., you will schedule that time to consume quality content.

    And don’t forget to have a trigger that will lead you directly to your book or e-reader, and you will forget about everything else.

    When you arrive at your timeboxed time for reading in a day, make sure that:

    • You turn off your phone, tablets and other notifications
    • Other people won’t distract you
    • You don’t have to go to the toilet or are hungry
    • You don’t have some important or emotional issue on your mind that will prevent you from concentrating and relaxing

    Just enjoy a book. Take time for yourself. You deserve it. It’s for your future; and the future of your family; and the future of humanity.

    Read when waiting

    Reading when you have more than 2 minutes to kill

    One of the best productivity tricks ever is that if a task takes less than 2 minutes to complete, you do it immediately, without even thinking or hesitating. In the same way,

    In the same way, when you have more than 2 minutes of idle time, open your reading app and start reading.

    Here are only a few examples of when and where you can put this advice to use:

    • Waiting in lines (grocery stores, post office, wherever)
    • Waiting for a meeting to start
    • Waiting at the doctors’ office
    • Sitting on the toilet
    • Traveling by plane or train
    • While eating

    There are at least 10 instances per day when you have 2 minutes or more to kill. If you decide to read at those points, you can squeeze 20 minutes or even more of reading time every day.

    That’s around 20 pages every day, transforming waiting (as one of the biggest wastes in life) into something productive.

    Audiobooks

    If you aren’t using audiobooks yet, they are definitely one of the best ways to “read” more every day.

    Unfortunately, audio books are still surrounded by some sort of negative stigma that only MLM and self-help enthusiasts exploit them for listening to ego boosting mantras and affirmations.

    In reality, you have many different books available, from fiction to non-fiction, and audiobooks are really a great way to increase quality content consumption.

    The best provider of audiobooks and software is definitely Audible. Try it for yourself and you’ll see that there’s actually nothing weird about it. Other people assume you’re listening to music anyway.

    You can listen to audiobooks when you:

    • Drive
    • Take a walk
    • Exercise
    • Travel

    By employing audiobooks, you really don’t have any more excuses to not be more in touch with books and enjoy the benefits of reading or, to be more exact, listening to audiobooks.

    Book summaries

    One way to read more is to read book summaries. Book summaries are one of the ways to get a general idea on what a book is all about and see if it’s worth reading.

    I tried many different executive summary services and I wasn’t satisfied with any until I stumbled upon Blinkist. I’m a premium Blinkist member and read a summary or two per day.

    Now, you must have realistic expectations regarding book summaries. It’s not the same as reading the whole book.

    But reading book summaries has a few great benefits, here are mine:

    • You get an overview of what a book is all about
    • You can grasp many different ideas in a short period of time
    • It’s easier to decide if you should buy and read the whole book
    • You can easily refresh the knowledge from the books you already read

    Reading book summaries is like somebody else reads a book and shares the main highlights with you.

    Blinkist Review

    Reading marathons

    Even though I try to squeeze in maximum reading time every day, it’s still not enough to meet my yearly reading goals.

    That’s why I also have reading marathons in my life.

    I constantly apply the no-interruptions days and themed days/weeks concepts into my life, when I want to achieve something fast, and reading is no exception here.

    These two techniques can really help you read extraordinarily big amounts of content in short periods of time. It simply means that you reserve a whole day or even a whole week in your schedule for reading.

    You’re probably doing the same thing in the summer when you’re on holiday. For a week or two, you sunbathe on the beach while reading a bunch of books. The only question is why you’d do that only during summer holidays.

    Have one Saturday in a month when you read the whole day. Have an extended weekend retreat together with technology detox and read a bunch of paper books.

    Take a whole week off with the goal of reading 10 books on a specific subject. I know it sounds crazy but remember, only extraordinary actions can give you extraordinary results in life.

    Properly segmenting content in your reading queue

    Now you already know that if you want to read more, you have to be a smart reader. Only making time to read is not enough.

    You must know yourself extraordinarily well and set a strategy that will work best for you in terms of when to read what.

    If you’re tired and you try to force yourself to read demanding and complex content, you’ll give up fast, I guarantee it.

    On the other hand, if you are well-rested and keen on learning something new and you just keep browsing low quality articles, you will soon become bored and start doing something else.

    Knowing that, you should segment the content you consume based on:

    • How much time you have
    • How much energy you have
    • Which medium is available to you
    • Your competence development priorities

    Here is an example of my strategy based on the factors listed above:

    Time – Device – Content Type
    2 – 10 minutes 10 – 20 minutes 20+ minutes 60+ minutes
    Mobile – Blinkist

    Mobile – Reddit / MUO

    Mobile – Pocket

    Mobile – Feedly

    e-reader – Kindle book

    Audiobooks

    e-reader – Kindle

    Tablet – Online Courses

    And

    Energy Levels – Device – Content Type
    Low Medium High Very High
    Mobile – Reddit / MUO Mobile – Pocket

    Mobile – Feedly

    e-reader – Easy books

    Audiobooks

    e-reader – Kindle Book

    Online Courses

    Audiobooks

    Online Courses

    When I’m on the go, I always have my mobile phone with me. On my mobile phone, I have all the apps for all the different types of content (Blinkist, Reddit, Makeuseof, Pocket, Feedly, Kindle, Audible, Lynda, Udemy).

    At home, I use an e-reader and a tablet. When I travel, I take the e-reader with me.

    A “read later” list for content that provokes reactive behavior

    No matter how good your infrastructure is, it’s almost impossible to completely avoid temptation for mental masturbation and wasting your time on low quality articles and content.

    So you need a system to handle that distractions like this. Here’s what I do:

    • If any interesting articles pop up on my social network feeds or I stumble upon them on the internet, I send them to Pocket or Evernote; and read them once a week on the weekends (sometime in the evening). When I send them to Pocket or Evernote, my desire to read them vanishes. It becomes a kind of do it later.
    • I don’t read online through the day; I create things in the flow (research is the exception). I read something positive when I wake up and I read before I go to sleep as part of my morning kick-off routine.
    • If I’m really too tired to even read, I do watch some interesting TV shows that motivate me (like Suits or Billions). I noticed that if I push myself over the limit, my reading motivation and discipline start to suffer a lot.

    The main point is: you shouldn’t react to what comes into your newsfeed to the point where everything becomes a distraction.

    Instead, you need a system to handle all the articles that may interest you, but aren’t a priority during the working day.

    Limiting reading-in-progress to not get overwhelmed

    One nasty thing that can happen to you with the information overload is that you try to read too many things at once and so you become overwhelmed.

    You may, for example, have hundreds of blog posts in your RSS reader, dozens of books on your Kindle to read and still keep buying new ones, you’re constantly bombarded with new articles on the social media, and so on.

    At the end of the day, everything may become overwhelming and so you just give up and decide to check out a few memes instead of reading; because you don’t even know where to start.

    Again, you have to be smart about it, you need a system and a strategy.

    Here’s what I do:

    • I don’t have more than 10 books in the reading queue (already bought books, not wish list).
    • I don’t read more than 3 books at the same time.
    • At the same time, I’m usually reading one book from the topic I want to master (SEO, writing, personal development etc.) and one inspirational book or a book with completely new ideas about the world (biographies, bestsellers etc.). It provides me with enough diversity but it’s still not too much to handle.
    • When I wake up, I read one book summary or positive article in Feedly; before I go to sleep I read e-books on my e-reader; and I read articles that pile up through the week on weekends or sometimes in the evenings on my tablet or phone.

    I try to automate as much as possible and take out as many decisions as possible. I try to set my system to the point that I always know what I need to read when – which device to take, which app to open, which next page to turn.

    You need a system that enables you to start reading the most quality content in a certain moment with a single click.

    Increasing reading speed without losing comprehension

    By knowing just a few speed reading basics, you can double your reading speed. That means double the amount of books you read in the same time.

    There are many speed reading techniques you can employ to read more in a shorter period of time and we will talk about them a lot in the future. In the meantime, be curious and explore a little bit of speed reading techniques.

    Below is just a short summary of different speed reading techniques (general, RSVP etc.), not to make this blog post even longer than it is.

    Speed reading advice

    Traditional speed reading is a very well-developed set of strategies and techniques. I’m not sure why they aren’t more popular.

    In general, there are six rules you should follow in order to read faster and with some practice, you can learn them very easily. Here they are:

    Previewing strategy

    Before you start reading any material, you should take a minute or two to preview it. You preview it by going through the table of contents, diagrams, repeating trigger words, names, numbers etc.

    With the previewing strategy, you capture the central idea of what you’re reading.

    When you are executing the previewing strategy, you should also ask yourself questions like who, where, when, what, why and how.

    Skimming and reading more

    Skimming and scanning

    Much like you can preview what kind of material you will read on the whole book level, you can skim and scan shorter bunches of text such as chapters.

    Skimming is nothing but a process of visually searching the sentences of a page for clues to meaning.

    In other words, it means not reading every word. You can skim before you go into detail. You can also use skimming and scanning technique for the chapters and sections of a book that you find less interesting.

    Word grouping and increasing eye span

    The goal of the word grouping is that you don’t read single words, but process bigger chunks of words.

    To achieve that goal, you have to increase your eye span, which is the number of words you take in at a glance.

    Interestingly, word-by-word readers are the slowest readers, because they stop at each and every word. If you want to read faster, you have to avoid reading each word separately and start grouping them. Try it, it’s not that hard.

    Meta guiding and hand pacing

    Meta guiding means visually guiding the eye using a finger, pointer or pen in order for the eye to move faster along the length of a text passage.

    The easiest and fastest way to read faster is by sliding the index fingers or a pointer across the page and below the sentence you’re reading.

    Avoiding sub-vocalization

    Sub-vocalization means the habit of pronouncing each and every word in your head when you read. That significantly slows down your reading speed.

    If you learn how to avoid sub-vocalization or, in other words, if you learn how to avoid talking to yourself when you read, your reading speed will increase dramatically.

    Eliminating regression

    Regression is the expression for unnecessarily re-reading the material or, in other words, going back to what you’ve already read.

    You should avoid bad reading habits like skipping back to words that you just read or jumping back a few sentences to make sure you read something correctly. Read it once and read it thoroughly the first time.

    Besides traditional techniques, there are two more things you can try and experiment with for achieving faster reading speed:

    Rapid Serial Visual Presentation and Spritz technology

    We are reading on small screens more and more often. Traditional reading from left to right and top-to bottom is quite slow on small devices. Rapid Serial Visual Presentation (RSVP) is the answer to that problem.

    The main idea of RSVP is to display a sequential stream of words, one or more words at the time. With such an approach, saccades and eye blinks are minimized.

    Spritz reading

    Spritz

    Spritz took RSVP even a step further by optimizing the Optimal Recognition Point (ORP).

    For each word you read, your eye first seeks a certain point, ORP, and when it finds it, it starts to process the meaning of the word.

    With traditional RSVP, your eyes have a hard time finding ORP and so you move your eyes on a regular basis, which negatively affects reading time and comprehension.

    Spritz, on the other hand, centers each word on its ORP so that you can stay focused while reading.

    I use Rapid and ReadQuick apps for Spritz reading. The good news is that you can connect them to other apps (Pocket, Instapaper, ReadQuick, even to Evernote and Feedly), so I can use this technique to read the articles I’d read anyway.

    I don’t use the Spritz reading technique constantly, but am switching between this and regular reading.

    BeeLine Reader

    One more technique that may help you read faster is the so-called BeeLine Reading Technique.

    BeeLine Reader makes reading faster by using a color gradient that guides your eyes from the end of one line to the beginning of the next.

    The human brain processes color more quickly than it can process words, and that is the advantage that the BeeLine Reader uses to make reading easier and faster.

    Go to the best knowledge there is

    It’s not only about how much you read, but also what you read. With the information overload, there is just too much low-quality information and too many cheap copies and fake gurus.

    Even more, a great majority of information is unfortunately produced only for mental masturbation and entertainment.

    You have to be extremely picky about what information you consume and what you read. It’s better to read one really good book than 1000 average blog posts.

    There is a simple rule you should follow: go for the best knowledge there is.

    It’s not hard to separate the wheat from the chaff. The knowledge you acquire should be eye-opening, it should change how you look at the world, your behavioral patterns, your values and beliefs.

    The best knowledge should encourage you to apply it as quickly as possible. By acquiring and embracing the best knowledge, you should basically feel how your mind is being upgraded.

    If you don’t change your behavior in some way, your brain was not upgraded by reading.

    Go for the best (knowledge), forget the rest. Carefully chose what you consume.

    Help yourself with reviews, summaries and sites like Goodreads before you really bite into anything.

    Sometimes the best knowledge is a best-seller book, other times a blog post you find after hours of browsing.

    Read everywhere possible

    Stop reading if there is no value and don’t read what you already know

    Humans have a tendency to finish what we started.

    So you may start reading a book, not even like it, but just can’t put it away and start reading the next one; instead you torture yourself, procrastinate and waste time by pushing yourself to read boring material.

    It’s like watching a movie you find boring to the end. Why would you do that?

    In the same way, it’s easier to read something that is already familiar to you. So you may be reading the same type of literature with the same type of ideas over and over again.

    Diversifying reading material has important benefits for your brain and awareness. You don’t want to watch the same movie over and over again, just with slightly different colors.

    Absolutely, if you liked the book so much you want to read it again with the goal of better implementing acquired knowledge, do it.

    But if you are bored and you’re reading a book only to prove to yourself and to the world that you can finish it, stop it. You’re not doing anyone a favor; you’re only wasting time.

    If you do good research before buying a book that shouldn’t even happen, but sometimes it does. And when it does, stop reading and move on.

    Healthy lifestyle

    Exercise and a healthy diet help a lot to read more and get out more of reading, even if it may not seem so at the first glance.

    Healthy lifestyle doesn’t only mean that you are better disciplined, your brain also functions better because it’s being filled with oxygen and thus more alert and comprehensive for new knowledge.

    Besides reading every day, also do something for your health every day.

    Take a walk. Go for a run. Visit the gym. Stretch. Do yoga.

    Not only your body, your mind will also appreciate these little things and will reward you with many things, including a better reading experience and remembering more.

    In the same way, pay attention to your diet. Eat green veggies and healthy fats like nuts and olive oil.

    Don’t consume too much sugar and unhealthy fats. Your brain will function much better. It’s actually not as difficult as it sounds.

    Green foods

    Reflecting and applying knowledge

    There is no use in knowledge if you don’t apply it through daily action.

    The first step you should always take right after reading a new text is to reflect on the new acquired knowledge.

    Reflecting is a very simple thing to do, you just ask yourself how to connect the newly acquired knowledge with what you already possess and then decide what you will start doing, stop doing and continue doing in life.

    It’s easy to do self-reflection, the only problem is that people are usually too lazy to reflect on what they’ve learned, and even more when it comes to applying new knowledge. Don’t be one of them.

    A few things that may help you to better structure, understand and connect newly acquired knowledge are:

    • Write a summary of the book
    • Write down notes (and make them into a blog post)
    • Share quotes on social media
    • Make mindmaps
    • Talk to other people
    • Post on online forums and Goodreads

    After reflection, you have to implement the knowledge. Immediate implementation is the key to success.

    You change yourself when you find a way to do something better. In order to change yourself, you have to change your behavioral patterns. You have to do things differently than you’ve been doing them until now.

    To implement knowledge successfully, ask yourself:

    • What will you stop doing?
    • What will you start doing?
    • What will you continue doing?

    Changing yourself includes changing your activities, reactions to situations, tasks on your to-do list, habits, people you spend time with, and so on.

    Actually, you can get action-oriented right now.

    You’ve read this article. You probably got at least one idea how to read more day by day in your life.

    Take action and implement it. If you aren’t sure what to do, go through ten ideas below in the summary and implement the one that you like the most.

    Homework

    How to read more? Take action and follow these 10 cool tricks

    Now you have really good insight into how to set a strategy and a system for reading more every day.

    Remember, it’s just a matter of priorities and how much you really want to be successful and educated in life.

    Reading is absolutely one of the best accelerators of personal and professional success. There are many successful people out there as proof.

    Here are 10 steps you can do right now, if nothing else do just one of them:

    1. Don’t read what appears on your social media newsfeed, become a proactive reader.
    2. Build a superior infrastructure. Do it now. Install new apps on your phone or tablet. Rearrange apps so all the reading apps will be the easiest to open. Buy an e-reader.
    3. Find 2 – 3 reading triggers that work best for you.
    4. Cancel one activity every day that will create 30 – 60 minutes of free time for you to read.
    5. Listen to audiobooks when you drive, take a walk or cook food.
    6. When you have 2 or more minutes to kill, read on your phone.
    7. Schedule a reading marathon every quarter.
    8. Get a reading buddy, join online forums, communities like Goodreads etc.
    9. Have measurable reading goals and make sure you meet them.
    10. Reflect on what you’ve learned and apply knowledge immediately.

    Enjoy reading!

  • Blinkist Review – Read one book a day

    Reading is a very important part of personal growth and continuous improvement. If you are a (non-fiction) bookworm like me, you know there are two big problems when deciding what to read.

    (1) There is never enough time to read everything you want and (2) most of the content out there is crappy. Sooner or later, ideas start repeating themselves in books.

    Choosing a book that has zero value for you in terms of new ideas is a big cost, not so much financial as time-wise.

    Executive summaries are one of the ways to get general ideas what a book is all about and see if it’s worth reading. I tried many different executive summary services and I wasn’t satisfied with any until I stumbled upon Blinkist.

    Since I am really enthusiastic about the app, I decided to write a review. Maybe I’ll spread my enthusiasm enough for you to at least try it for yourself.

    What is Blinkist?

    Blinkist is a web and mobile app that offers more than 1,000 summaries of non-fiction books. They cover different non-fiction categories, from science, politics and economics to personal growth, investing, different business topics, health and biographies. They add new books summaries to their library daily, adding up to around 40 new summaries per month.

    They add new books summaries to their library daily, adding up to around 40 new summaries per month.

    They offer a free plan, which enables you to read one pre-selected book per day, the plus plan (49,99€), which enables you access to all the books and offline reading, and the premium plan (79,99€), which enables you to additionally listen to books with audio, sync highlights to Evernote and send your reads to Kindle.

    Free Plus Premium
    One pre-selected book per day

    Library browsing

    Access to all summaries

    Highlights

    Offline reading

    Audio summaries

    Sync highlights to Evernote

    Send summaries to Kindle

    Since I’m a big fan of audio-learning and Kindle, and I also use Evernote as my digital brains, I’m a premium Blinkist member. So here is the Blinkist Review based on my personal experience.

    Designed for learning on the go

    I use Blinkist only as a mobile app when I’m on the go. When I am at home and have enough time to read, I read books on Kindle. But when I’m on the move, Blinkist comes into play.

    Using Blinkist on the move is one of the greatest strengths of the app.

    Not only are book summaries very well written, Blinkist also uses a special outline. It takes you around 15 minutes to read a book summary, but what’s so special is that every summary is divided into 8 – 12 key book insights.

    Blinklist Key Insights

    That’s where the name of the app comes from. Book summaries are split into “blinks”, short insights. It takes you 1 – 2 minutes to read one insight from a selected book, and then you swipe to the next one. You swipe around ten times and you read the whole summary. If you’re interrupted in the middle, you just end with your insight and come back to the next one when you have time.

    You swipe around ten times and you read the whole summary. If you’re interrupted in the middle, you just end with your insight and come back to the next one when you have time.

    When you are on the go, it’s guaranteed that you’ll be interrupted in the next 15 minutes. A phone call, your waiting ends, you meet someone or whatever. But it rarely happens in the next 1 -2 minutes. It’s like having small insight blocks you can read all the way until the next interruption.

    But it rarely happens in the next 1 -2 minutes. It’s like having small insight blocks you can read all the way until the next interruption.

    When you’re interrupted, you surely can’t get lost. I read or listen to Blinkist summaries when:

    • Waiting
    • Need new ideas to warm up my brain
    • Cooking, showering, taking a walk (or I listen to Audible books as an alternative)
    • Traveling
    • Who knows where else

    Whenever I have at least two minutes of time to kill, I open Blinkist and read at least one insight from a book summary. Sometimes I read only one 2-minute book insight, sometimes I read the whole summary if my idle time is longer, and sometimes I even read several summaries.

    Sometimes I read only one 2-minute book insight, sometimes I read the whole summary if my idle time is longer, and sometimes I even read several summaries.

    By the way, Lynda.com employs a similar concept in their educational courses, but they have video instead of text, and that kind of format is something that really works for me.

    Here are some of the last book summaries I read:

    • Contagious, Jonah Breger
    • Breakfast with Socrates, Robert Rowland Smith
    • The Selfish Gene, Richard Dawkins
    • Why is Sex Fun, Jared Dimond
    • Smartcuts, Shane Snow
    • The Social Animal, David Brooks
    • Thinking Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman
    • The One Thing, Gary Keller
    • The 4 Disciplines of Execution, Chris McChensney, and others
    • The Introverted Leader, Jennifer Kahnweiler

    There is one more interesting thing that I’ve noticed. I usually read like 20 book summaries in a few weeks and then I take a few weeks off.

    After a short break, I start reading summaries again. I’m not sure why, but my brain probably needs to get some rest from too many different concentrated ideas.

    Grasping new ideas fast

    You probably know that you get out only what you put in, right? It’s no different in this case. Don’t expect that you’ll get the same value when reading a summary as you would when reading the whole book. Actually, you get a lot less because you invest so little (15 minutes rather than a few hours).

    What I discovered is that I remember little when reading a book summary. Not only from Blinkist but whichever summaries.

    For example, if you ask me about the content of the summaries of the books I listed above and their general ideas, I’d be quite lost. On the other hand, I have no problem explaining the main ideas from the last ten books I read.

    So you must have realistic expectations. Reading a summary is not the same as reading a book.

    The purpose of reading a summary is not to read it instead of a book, but to more easily decide whether you want to buy and read the whole book or to grasp the main idea of the book for whatever reason. After reading a Blinkist summary, there are three potential things I always do:

    1. Buy and read the book, if I like it.
    2. Send highlights from a summary to Evernote and review them from time to time – if there was a cool idea in the book, but I still have other better priorities on my reading list. Reading only about new ideas can definitely open your mind and help you to widen your thinking horizon.
    3. I just forget about it – if there were no new ideas presented to me or if there wasn’t anything I found particularly interesting, I move on.
    Reading on kindle
    My all-time favorite device.

    Much easier to decide if you should buy a book

    Besides exploring many different ideas fast, the important purpose of reading a Blinkist book summary is to decide if you’re going to buy a book or not. By reading a summary, you can quickly grasp if there are any new and interesting ideas for you and if reading the whole book is worth your while.

    I bought a few books on Amazon Kindle after being impressed with their ideas in the Blinkist summary.

    If you need additional info about the book before buying it, every summary in Blinkist is also accompanied by a short author biography, what the book is all about, who should read it, the iBook rating and publishing year. In that way, you have all the information you need before buying a book.

    Well, to be honest, reading the Blinkist book summary (if it’s available) is the first thing I do, but it’s not the only thing. I also check Goodreads and Amazon ratings and reviews.

    It does take a little bit more time to go through all the different reviews and to read the summaries, but it’s definitely better than buying and wasting time on a book you don’t like.

    Refreshing knowledge from books you already read

    I can surely name the last ten books I read and what they were all about. But the more time that passes after reading a book, the faster I forget the main ideas. I always remember the name of a book I read, but after a few years, you can quickly forget what the book was all about.

    You can make mind maps after reading a book, to refresh your memory, but it takes quite a lot of time to do that. I only do mind maps for the best of the best. But what you can do to refresh your memory is to read a Blinkist summary long after you already read a book.

    That’s also a reason why I find Blinkist very useful. It goes something along the lines of: oh right, I read that book ten years ago, what was it about again? And I read the summary to refresh my memory. It definitely feels good to do that.

    Blinkist Review
    Source: Blinkist

    Blinkist of my Blinkist Review

    Is it worth it to invest around 6,5 EUR per month into Blinkist? Definitely. That’s two coffees per month. We were all born as curious beings, not coffee consumers.

    If you read at least a summary or two, you get much more out of a Blinkist subscription per month than you do from coffee or any other bad habit.

    We were all born as curious beings, not coffee consumers. Thus be curious and read.

    Here is the Blinkist review summary, the final judgment with all the pluses and minuses:

    Pluses:

    • Outstanding user experience (easy to use, nice design,)
    • The summary outline structure with blinks is really good, especially on the go
    • Huge selection of books
    • Quality book summaries
    • Easy to review your favorite highlights
    • It gives you a good idea of whether you should buy a book
    • You can read a summary to refresh the main ideas of the books you already read
    • Syncing highlights to Evernote (premium membership)
    • Audiobook summaries available (premium membership)
    • Audiobooks can be pre-downloaded (premium membership)
    • Different voices for audiobooks for more variety (premium membership)

    Minuses:

    • It’s not the same as reading a book
    • It can get boring reading only summaries, especially in the same categories. Somehow all the ideas start to sound the same. You have to combine it with other types of reading materials.
    • There is no monthly payment available

    My final rating is 4.8/5 stars. The Blinkist app absolutely deserves 5 stars, but since I’m quite a critical person, the only app to receive 5 stars will be the one that will enable me to download knowledge straight into my brain, like in the Matrix. :)

    There’s one more cool thing about the German company Blinks Labs that’s behind the Blinkist app. They use the Holacracy management system.

    The main idea of Holacracy is to eliminate all hierarchies and job titles in the organization, and instead introduce only a set of organizational rules to enable every employee to make quick, smart decisions and get their jobs done. It must be cool to work for the company behind the app.

    Try the app and you’ll see how well it fits you to make the best use of the reading time you have available throughout the day.

    You can try the free Blinkist plan or the Plus/Premium plan with a 30 Day money-back guarantee, no questions asked. Start your free trial here:

    Blinkist download

    Blinkist links in this post are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and join Blinkist, I will receive 7 days free access to the app. I strictly promote only the things and the services that I also regularly use and like.

  • Why you should read every day

    I never liked reading when I was young. I always liked computers. But in my early twenties, I decided to get fond of reading. My strategy was simple. Read every day. I followed the strategy through and today I love to read.

    I have three simple rules. (1) The first one is to not go to sleep if I haven’t read at least one page of a book. It’s something you can realistically commit to. (2) The second rule is to read at least 50 books per year. And the (3) third one is that when I wait in lines or anywhere else, or when I’m in an idle state somehow, I read.

    I can honestly say that reading is probably the number one thing that changed my life to the better forever. If there are only two things I have to recommend to anyone in this world, they would be exercise and reading.

    I know it’s hard to find the time to read books. But with good time management techniques, it can be done. You just have to see all the benefits and be motivated enough.

    My intention with this blog post is to encourage you to read more. But in addition to that, you will also learn:

    • The number one reason why you should read every day
    • Other benefits of regular reading
    • How to become fond of reading
    • My personal experience of how reading changed my life
    • Reading metrics you should follow

    If nothing else, read the paragraph below:

    You have one of the most capable computers in your head available for use, a product of billions of years of evolution. Next to that, you have most of the knowledge ever created by humankind available only with a single click on the mouse. Why would you use your brain and the internet for browsing funny pictures of cats?

    Why you should read every day

    The most important reason for reading every day

    The most important reason to read (non-fiction) every day is regular maintenance and updates for your brain.

    Imagine your body is a piece of hardware and your brain is the organ that runs the software to operate your body and how you experience life – from making everyday decisions to how you feel about certain situations.

    Even if the brain is a remarkably powerful organ, the software it runs among neurons is quite buggy. Extremely buggy, actually.

    Brain bugs come from many different sources, like suppressed traumatic experiences, cognitive distortions, limiting beliefs, lack of awareness, false knowledge transmitted from others (the Earth is flat?), and so on.

    Now here’s the awesome news. By reading, listening to lectures, talking to people, observing different situations, reflecting and other similar situations, you can update your software to be less buggy.

    Updating your brains (learning) = Download + Process + Apply

    You have the ability to make your software more powerful, more capable, more accurate and with fewer bugs. In other words, you become more intelligent when you regularly update and maintain your software.

    Among all the ways of “downloading” knowledge to update the “software” that your brain runs, reading is one of the best and the most popular ones.

    Reading opens new perspectives and angles to you, it enables you to familiarize yourself with how other people see the world, it enables you to acquire skills, improve your communication abilities and much more. You can understand the world and yourself much better.

    That’s why most of the extremely successful people, no matter the industry, read; and they read a lot. Well, a few industries like the entertainment industry may be sometimes an exception. But you get the point.

    Reading = One of the best ways to download knowledge

    Now only (1) downloading knowledge makes no sense, if you don’t (2) process it and then (3) run it or apply it. It’s like downloading a program on your computer and not installing it, much less using it. That’s why you also need to process knowledge and put it to use.

    Processing knowledge means reflecting on new information, connecting it to what you already know, analyzing what you’ll start doing and stop doing based on the new information, talking to other people and engaging in discussions, sleeping it over, and so on.

    Applying knowledge means putting it to use. Starting to interact differently with your environment. Becoming a better version of yourself, in action. Practically, that means that you put to use a new skill you’ve acquired, stop procrastinating, undertake a new adventure, make better decisions, manage relationships better, and so on.

    Downloading, processing, applying. That’s also why we know passive and active methods of learning. Passive methods of learning are the ones where you just “download” knowledge. As mentioned, reading is one of the most popular ones. Here they are:

    • Listening to lectures
    • Reading
    • Listening to audio recordings and watching video materials
    • Demonstration

    Active methods are the ones where you don’t only download knowledge, but also process and apply it. Active methods of learning are:

    • Group discussions (process)
    • Real life experience (process, apply) – Validated learning – Practical knowledge
    • Teaching after real life experience (process, apply)

    Applying theoretical knowledge means gaining experience. With experience and gathering feedback comes even more practical knowledge. Experience is simply the best way to remember new knowledge. But a theory is what gives you the coordinates of where to start.

    Reading is a great start. I’m trying to convince you to read more here. But reading is not enough. Thinking about it is not enough. Only reflecting is also not enough. You have to change your behavior in the end. Download, process, apply. But reading is where you most often start.

    You have learned something new when you do things differently.

    Regular reading doesn’t only mean fresh updates for your brain; it also means regular brain maintenance. Research has shown that reading improves your memory and greatly decreases the chance for cognitive diseases like Alzheimer’s.

    It also helps slow down your cognitive decline with age. Reading is the workout for your brain. You have to take care of your body and your mind.

    And here’s some more good news. The more you learn, the more synaptic pinpoints you have for the new knowledge to be at your disposal faster and more permanently. When you read, you’re making your hardware and software more and more capable. The benefits accumulate.

    Reading is the workout for your brain.

    Other benefits of regular reading

    Now you know the main benefit of reading. Updated software. Reading changed the quality of my life forever. More about my personal experience later. Besides updated software, there are many other benefits of reading. I found more than 15 of them.

    Some of them apply to non-fiction, others to fiction books, but most of them to both. I encourage you to read both. Now let’s go to the benefits. And here is the first one:

    Seeing into the minds of other people

    Many times, I ask myself how it would be to experience life as another person. Everybody has their own life story and individual experience and subjective interpretation of the World.

    There are unlimited combinations of gender, cultural history, sets of beliefs, religious and political backgrounds, age, and so on. Everyone has their own individual experience and life story, and you being limited only to your own is a big deprivation.

    A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one. R.R. Martin

    By reading books, you can kind of see into the minds of other people and better understand a small fragment of what was/is their experience of the world – including the people who already passed away and thankfully decided to share their piece of the world through the written word.

    Here are only a few things you can experience with reading:

    • How other people perceive the world (alive and dead)
    • Other cultural backgrounds and places without even traveling
    • Human history and ideas about the future

    Isn’t that simply awesome? By reading, you have the ability to enter the minds of other people. Don’t waste that ability.

    Developing empathy

    By understanding different ways of how life can be experienced, grasping different angles of looking at different situations and having more knowledge, you develop empathy.

    Being empathic is one of the most important social skills. Reading is the thing that helps you enhance your empathy.

    Especially by reading non-fiction books, you can enter more mental states, understand people better and thus cultivate more complex and deeper relationships. You can see more relationship dimensions and be a better friend. What an awesome benefit of reading.

    Reading everywhere

    Stimulating your imagination, creativity and ideas

    When you watch a movie or a TV series, you have visual material in front of you. But when you read, especially fiction books, you have to imagine things. Imagination is unlimited.

    You can imagine a situation or a thing you read in many different ways and with dozens of different mental pictures. You can play it over and over again in your mind by adding things and taking them away. It’s a big stimulation for your brain’s neurons.

    By reading books, you’re making your own mental movie; or even many different versions of them.

    Better imagination leads to more creativity and ideas. If I need more ideas regarding any subject in life, the first thing I do is to read as much as possible on the topic. When I read a critical amount of ideas, views and knowledge, new ideas start to pop up.

    So, if you feel stuck with ideas at any time, start reading and reading a lot, and ideas will come naturally.

    Better analytical skills

    It’s not only your imagination and creative abilities that are stimulated by reading. Your analytical skills can also be improved. Every (non-fiction) book has a body of knowledge that’s structured in a specific way.

    If, before reading a book, you analyze how the book is structured and why that is so, why the author decided to structure knowledge in such a way, it helps stimulate your analytical skills a lot; especially after you do that with hundreds of books. You learn how to structure things quickly and logically.

    An even better method is to make a mindmap of the most important ideas after reading a book; or join online forums and discuss the book with others and defend a certain view on what the author meant with specific ideas, and so on. You know, you get out what you put in.

    Curiosity

    I also mustn’t forget curiosity. Curiosity is one of the most important values of intelligent people.

    The more you read, the more you see what you don’t yet know, the kind of cool updates you can install to your brains and how unlimited your imagination is, the more you will want to read, the more you will want to know.

    Stay hungry, stay foolish. Read.

    Inspiration and mentorship

    Books, especially biographies, can be a great deal of inspiration. Struggles, stamina, motivation, creativity and powerful life visions of other people can be a great source of inspiration for you to achieve your peak performance.

    Biographies and advice books can also be a way of being mentored by successful people without even meeting them in real life.

    Fictional characters also deserve a place at this point. They can be as motivational as biographies of real people. They can influence your style, the words you use, your hobbies and the things you like.

    Their actions can be a great inspiration for you to act and realize your potentials. You know, especially if there is a bit of a nerd in you, think of all the action characters.

    Developing communication skills and expanding your vocabulary

    Outstanding communication skills are one of the most important skills in life. Being a good communicator helps you build strong relationships, assert yourself, express your thoughts and develop your verbal abilities.

    Reading books exposes you to a much greater vocabulary than watching TV or talking with other people. Knowing more words means that you can better express yourself and better describe different situations in life.

    Smart is the new sexy, right?

    Better writing skills

    An important part of communication skills are writing skills. You don’t have to be a blogger or a professional writer to pay attention to your writing skills.

    Everyone writes today – emails, social media, slides for public presentations, etc. We are in the knowledge society, where it’s difficult to escape from writing.

    By reading a lot, your writing will improve – from being better with words, expressing yourself more clearly, to making fewer grammar mistakes, and so on. And if you ever want to be a professional writer, reading a lot is even more important.

    You become a more interesting person

    By having a better imagination, outstanding communication skills, knowing how to express yourself and understanding different topics, you become a really interesting person. You can always find a topic to talk about and you always have something smart to say.

    You don’t want to only appear intelligent; you really want to be intelligent, and you can achieve that by reading a lot.

    And when you become an enthusiastic reader, you will also develop better listening skills because you can better understand the other person (remember empathy) and you become aware that you don’t have to learn only from books.

    You can also learn from other people. There is always an opportunity to learn something new, as long as you keep your mind open.

    Knowing more, being more educated or even being a walking lexicon will also help you with self-confidence. Make knowledge your type of an expensive car.

    You can never be overdressed, overpaid and overeducated.

    It’s a way to connect with other people

    The easiest way to connect with other people is through common interests. A book is a great common interest for starting a new friendship.

    You have hundreds of pages to discuss. All you have to do is to be proactive enough and reach out to people.

    Online forums, online book clubs, real life book clubs, there are numerous ways of connecting with new people all over the world, exchanging views and making new friendships.

    Make sure you reach out to people after reading every book. Take a step further. That’s what will make you successful in life.

    Well, and if you feel lonely and need some company, book characters are always good to hang out with.

    You’re never alone when you’re reading a book. – Susan Wiggs

    Make handouts when you read

    Concentration abilities and focus

    Reading, much like running or listening to music, can be a form of meditation. Even more, by reading regularly, you develop better abilities to focus and concentrate.

    With all the distractions nowadays, people have really big problems with focusing and concentrating. Don’t be one of them.

    The higher your power to concentrate, the better the position you’re in. You can more easily complete demanding tasks, you can work and create in the flow state for hours, and more easily set priorities in life.

    Self-discipline and consistency

    If you commit to reading every day, we can add developing self-discipline and consistency next to concentration abilities and focus.

    If you read at least one page a day, self-discipline and consistency will help you do the same in other areas of life as well, from sports to meditation, and so on.

    Getting to know yourself better

    The first rule of a happy life is to know yourself really well. The best way to get to know yourself is the so-called search mode. You try to experience as many things as possible and see what fits you and what doesn’t.

    But reading can also be a way to learn a great deal about yourself. If you reflect on experiences of other people in books, you can analyze which ideas you like and which ones you dislike.

    You can also get many new ideas for what to try in life. Remember, there’s a lot of things for which you don’t even know that you don’t know.

    That’s where reading can open you up to completely new perspectives and horizons. We can even say that reading can influence you to such a degree that it helps shape your personality.

    You’re doing a great thing for your kids

    If you love to read, there’s a much greater chance that your kids will love to read. That means that your kids will develop better communication skills, they will be more intelligent, will have a great head start in life, and so on.

    Discussing a book can also be a great way to connect with your child intellectually. Remember, you have to be connected to your kid physically, emotionally, intellectually, materially and socially.

    It’s relaxing

    Reading is a great inexpensive relaxation – assuming you aren’t forced to read and aren’t reading any heavy texts (legal papers, etc.).

    When you lose yourself in a book, you can simply forget all the daily worries and enter the creative world of imagination, creation and progress.

    Reading just before sleep can also help you to enter the sleep state faster and to sleep better. Reading before bedtime is absolutely much better than watching TV. every time someone in your family turns on the TV, go on and start reading a book.

    Every time someone turns on the TV, go on and start reading a book.

    A way to practice technology detox

    With all the screens you’re exposed to, from computers to smartphones and TVs, you have to take regular technology detox breaks.

    One of the best ways to do a technology detox is to go to a mountain cottage for an extended week with a bunch of books.

    You can also do mini technology detoxes through the day. As mentioned, instead of watching TV, wasting time on useless websites or numerous apps, simply take a book and read.

    More money

    By being more educated, a better communicator and having better analytical and creative skills, you gain the ability to earn more money. Don’t you want to earn more money? Well if you do, then read more.

    It’s (almost) free

    If you compare how much it takes to write a book to how much a book costs, the price of the book is ridiculously low.

    Next to that, if you don’t want to spend money on books, you have libraries. So reading costs you nothing, except your time investment; and by reading, you’re investing into yourself, which is the best possible investment.

    The best things in life are for free. Reading is one of them. Just try it.

    Books

    You can do it almost anywhere

    You can read almost anywhere and at anytime, like having sex. When you wake up. While you eat. When you wait in a queue. During boring meetings. To relax after you come home from work. Before sleep.

    If you can’t sleep. On a plane or a train. There are numerous possibilities. Actually, I was wrong, there are many more opportunities for reading than for having sex.

    How to become fond of reading

    As mentioned before, when I was young, I disliked reading even though I was a good pupil. Like I hated exercising. And olives. But now I love exercising.

    And I love reading even more. I also eat olives. There’s no romantic story or secret behind how I made the switch.

    If you consistently do a thing, you develop a habit. It may be hard at the beginning but with time, your taste, values and preferences change.

    You can start to love things that bring a better quality of life in the long term. The easiest way to develop a new habit is to develop morning or evening routines. And routines slowly turn to habits, where you need no effort to do an activity.

    Read a few pages when you wake up or when you go to sleep (reading is part of my morning kick-off routine). Start with a topic that interests you the most.

    And go straight to the best knowledge. Don’t read things for mental masturbation and entertainment (“10 potatoes that look like Brad Pitt” and “15 different ways to fart”). That doesn’t count. Read quality books. Quality fiction and non-fiction.

    Build yourself a supportive environment. Put some books on your shelf and the night table. Use an app to measure how much you read. Join Goodreads. Find a reading buddy. Set a reminder that it’s time to read. Timebox reading time in your calendar.

    And the most important fact: you must have a powerful why. You must know what you want to get out of reading.

    Does it relax you, stimulates your imagination, do you want to grow and improve in life, be more successful, smarter or whatever. Even if I didn’t like reading, my why was so powerful that I had no problem sticking to my set routine and meeting my daily goals.

    How reading changed my life – a personal experience why you should read a lot

    My why that motivated me to read was pretty simple. I needed new software to download. First of all, I was raised in a socialist country, where being successful, rich or outstanding was forbidden.

    I was also raised in a broken family with many toxic beliefs and brain bugs.

    I needed new software that would lead to better decisions regarding health, wealth, relationships, happiness, productivity and other areas of life.

    The only way back then to get new software was by reading books (back then, the Internet was not like it is today). So, I went to the library and started reading my first book.

    The first book I ever read for my personal growth was Awaken the Giant Within by Anthony Robbins. I still remember that day.

    I started to read a lot. I made notes in notebooks. I had dozens of notebooks with extracts, summaries and quotes from the books. I bought more than 1,000 books.

    I donated all of them a few years back since I now only have eBooks as part of my asset-light living strategy.

    I upgraded my software a lot since I read my first book. Today I have a completely different view on life than I had 15 years ago.

    With that old software, I’d be stuck in a job I hate with an average income and abusive relationships, never taking care of my body or finding happiness.

    Even if I upgraded my software a lot, I’m still at around 30 % of where I want to be. I still have many bugs that cause negative thinking and troubling emotions.

    I still have many intellectual skills to develop, like programming, improving my English and sometimes, when I read something incredibly smart from other people, I just ask myself what else I don’t even know I have to learn.

    So join me on a trip to become the best version of yourself. The best version of you should constantly have new upgraded software for your brain.

    One way to achieve that is also with reading, and again, I mean reading a lot – every day. And applying knowledge, of course. Just make sure that you don’t lie to yourself about how much you read. Measure it and then manage it properly.

    Reading on kindle
    My all-time favorite device.

    Reading metrics you should follow

    Interestingly, when I talk to people, I’ve noticed that most have a problem admitting that they don’t read at all or read very little.

    I guess you come up as more intelligent if you lie to yourself and others that you read a lot. It’s one of the brain bugs.

    Make sure you don’t have this brain bug. You don’t want to only appear intelligent and fake intelligence; you want to actually be intelligent and smart.

    Thus it may make sense to follow some basic metrics for how much you read in a specific period, and you should also set some limits (minimums) to make sure you do meet your daily, weekly and monthly goals.

    You don’t want to only appear intelligent and fake intelligence; you want to actually be intelligent and smart.

    Here are a few reading metrics you can follow:

    1. How many books (and other texts) do you read per month (aim for 2 – 4)
    2. How much you read per day (aim for 20 – 40 pages per day, but read at least 1 page no matter what)
    3. How fast you can read (you can take a test online)
    4. How long you can read without losing concentration (aim for 1h+ and you can also test your maximum abilities, for example try to read a book in one day)
    5. Reading comprehension and vocabulary

    And a few additional metrics:

    1. How many books you discuss with other people (kids, spouse, friends, business partners,)
    2. How many mindmaps did you make based on the books you read
    3. The number of new things you learned and applied in real life (you can do that when you have self-reflection time and decide what you’ll start doing, stop doing and continue doing)
    4. How much new knowledge you shared with others (social media, in your own book, lecturing,)
    5. How many new people you meet and how many new friendships you made where a book was the icebreaker.

    I hope I convinced you why you should read every day.

  • How to develop an abundance mindset

    If you want to be happy and successful in life, you must have an abundance mindset; otherwise you may catch yourself in a vicious greed-based competition or in (symbolical) self-castration and procrastination – both making you unhappy. The abundance mindset consists of the three crucial elements:

    (1) Seeing all the possibilities the world has to offer in order to create, connect, grow and enjoy, (2) knowing that you deserve love and prosperity, and (3) realizing that if you’d experience only plentitude in life, it would be boring as hell and you wouldn’t appreciate anything you have at all.

    The opposite of the abundance mindset is a scarcity mentality. The scarcity mentality doesn’t only lead to an impoverishment of life, it also makes you take malicious actions towards yourself and others.

    Knowing that limited resources are a part of life on this planet and experiencing not having every single thing you want can be a great teacher in adult life, and can make you appreciate things you do have. However, learning and personal growth can happen only if they’re supported with an abundance mindset.

    If it sounds confusing, here’s an example from the financial area of life: Being broke is a temporary situation in life. Being poor is usually a state of mind. If you are broke and have an abundance mindset, you’re aware that you have options and that you can do something about it as well as learn about yourself and life while being broke.

    But being poor and drowning in the victim mindset is based on a scarcity mindset and doesn’t bring anything good into your life. Even more: you become blind to learning and personal growth.

    There is a big difference between suffering the scarcity mentality and experiencing a temporary shortage in life, while keeping the abundance mindset.

    If you aren’t sure whether you are suffering from the scarcity mindset, here are the signs of a severe scarcity mentality:

    • Aggressive competition where other people and also you might get hurt (physically, emotionally)
    • Trouble sharing with others (things, power, credit, profit)
    • Greed and gluttony, there is simply never enough
    • Envy and jealousy
    • Desire to control people
    • Being obsessed with how much other people make and what they own
    • Hating it when other people succeed and being happy when misfortune happens to them
    • Self-castration and procrastination
    • Shyness, bitterness, depression and isolation
    • Avoiding any kind of responsibility and commitment (in relationships)
    • Having a victim mentality
    • Scarcity mentality is closely connected to the fixed mindset

    In this article you will learn:

    • How the scarcity mindset develops
    • Why is the abundance mindset so important
    • The difference between the scarcity mindset and a temporary shortage of something
    • What you can do in general to develop the abundance mindset
    • A few tricks to develop the abundance mindset in different areas of life
    • How not to confuse the abundance mindset with foolishness

    A word of caution: this is not a short article. But you know, there is no easy way to switch from the scarcity mindset to the abundance mindset. It’s not like you only have to spend a little more time with people who have the abundance mindset and you will miraculously develop it; or do “10 other things” that most blog posts recommend.

    Well, spending time with people who have the abundance mindset may definitely help you catch the right way of thinking, but first you will probably drown in envy.

    The bottom line is that the abundance mentality can only help you focus on the right kind of things and actions and be happier in life in general. You have to strategically develop your mindset step by step and simultaneously support new thinking with actions.

    If the abundance mentality is not supported by action, it’s not a real abundance mentality. It’s naivety and shutting your eyes to the facts of real life. Yes, it’s a very long and demanding process to switch to the abundance mentality; but also very rewarding.

    But first things first. If you want to overcome any negative internal emotional and mental state in your life, you have to first understand it very well. So let’s analyze how the scarcity or the abundance mindsets really develops. It will help you tackle the problem at its core and deal with it once and for all.

    Abundance mindset

    How the scarcity or abundance mindsets develop

    The essence of the scarcity or the abundance mindsets development as a part of your psyche is how your needs were being met when you were growing up. In the first few years, right after you were born, the emotional availability of your parents was the number one thing that imprinted into your subjective map of reality of how much the world has to offer to you and how much you deserve.

    If there was plenty of love and attention in the early years, you developed trust in yourself, life and people, and later you can see all the abundance the world has to offer in terms of relationships. If you weren’t exposed to that kind of attention and pampering as an infant, emotional scarcity developed. You now assume people aren’t trustworthy and that there isn’t much love for you out there.

    Only love isn’t enough, of course. The second important aspect of your upbringing is whether there was any consideration for what you really want (not what others thought was best for you) and if there was any encouragement present for your needs of discovering the world.

    If you were only an extension of your parents, strictly under their controlling behavior and criticism, if there was no room for your autonomy and initiative, your own ideas, creativity, play and sports, you slowly become blind to all the opportunities the world has to offer.

    You become blind, because instead of seeing yourself as an individual with your own needs and wishes and all the right to meet them in a respectful and healthy manner (one of the purposes of life is constantly fulfilling your needs), you feel guilt and shame following something you really want. Because deep down you aren’t sure if your parents would approve of it. Probably not, if it’s not medical school.

    It’s much easier to become blind to the opportunities than to become aware of your toxic feelings that block your assertiveness and cause symbolical self-castration.

    But there is more, of course. After emotional needs, we have intellectual needs. As you start to talk and become more and more aware of the world, curiosity develops.

    You develop a need to understand the world, to develop your intellect and competence. If you didn’t have an environment that helped you develop your intellectual potential, creative and analytical one, inferiority and identity confusion may develop. Especially now in the creative age.

    You don’t see all the opportunities because you think you aren’t capable of competing with others when it comes to using your mind. Again, it’s easier to become blind and live in denial rather than to face the fact that you are maybe more capable than you think you are.

    The good news is that if your emotional and intellectual needs were properly met, your spiritual needs are usually also well-developed. The spiritual aspect of life gives you a sense of hope, purpose and contribution. The spiritual aspect is based on a deep trust in yourself, your competences, your values, life in general and your mission. You can only imagine how a lack of those hinders you in life.

    Body, emotions, mind and soul. If they were exposed to an abundance of attention, love, information, encouragement and a positive and stable environment, they all greatly contribute to the abundance mindset. It’s a lot to take in. But we aren’t done yet. There are two more important categories of life.

    First, we have the social aspect. We are social beings and as soon as you’re exposed to other people outside of your home, you have a need to belong to different social groups. How well you fit into social groups especially depends on your values. If there are people around you with the same values, you feel like a part of a group. In such a case, you can have many friends and even more, you have a tribe to protect you.

    If your values are so different from the majority that you don’t find a group to belong to, you tend to isolate yourself. Isolation is usually a strong sign of the scarcity mindset. As a kid, there isn’t much you can do. If you don’t feel like you get along well with your schoolmates and other people in your life, you simply must suffer.

    Consequently, you develop the scarcity mindset. In your subjective reality map, there is no group you could belong to, because you never experienced real social belonging.

    Last but not least, we have money and material abundance. Well, emotional and intellectual poverty aren’t discussed as often as the financial one, because the financial one is so much more obvious.

    There have been many studies done, clearly showing how much damage poverty makes. The fact is that unfortunately, poverty in most cases leads to the scarcity mindset. Because of poverty, you develop the mindset that there isn’t enough out there and especially not for you.

    The scarcity and poverty mindset don’t develop only because you’re exposed to a deprivation of material things, it’s usually also transferred together with different toxic beliefs about money. Money doesn’t grow on trees. Rich people are corrupt people. If you are rich, you will never go to heaven. Just to name a few.

    This is how the scarcity mentality develops – being exposed to emotional, intellectual, social, encouragement, attention and financial poverty. Consequently, you think there is not enough out there and even more, that there isn’t enough for you.

    Before you get mad, I know, no parents are perfect. Actually, there must be errors made in upbringing, because errors bring friction and internal frictions drive personal growth. But there is a big difference between making a few errors or raising a kid in a toxic environment. There is a big difference between the two.

    You may further argue, for example: how can I expose my kid to material abundance if I’m drowning in debt? You see, it actually isn’t how much you really buy for your kid. It’s how you make your kid feel when you buy him something.

    If buying something for your kid is associated with how much you had to suffer and sacrifice, logically material guilt will develop and with it the scarcity mindset. When I get something I want, people I love have to suffer. Isn’t the internal conflict obvious?

    If we go from financial scarcity to the emotional and intellectual one, I know it often doesn’t happen on purpose, but because parents have to deal with their own shit and they probably lived in the same kind of poverty, so they don’t know how to do better, they lack knowledge and so on.

    Here are just a few examples of what you may have experienced in your home environment and how your scarcity mindset developed. Ironically, sometimes this happened even when parents thought they were doing what was best for you and your future.

    • Parents making all the choices instead of you, without considering your wishes and needs
    • Overprotective and over-controlling parents
    • Depressed parents occupied with their own shit
    • Switching all the emotional attention to a younger sibling when they were born
    • Overly critical parents
    • Parents stifling your curiosity and creativity
    • Here you can find more types of toxic behaviors

    If you were exposed to that kind of environment and consequently developed the scarcity mindset, I am sorry. But now you’re an adult and you can do something about it. As mentioned, becoming blind to opportunities, focusing on the negative and feeling sorry for yourself is much easier than dealing with mistrust, guilt, shame and inferiority.

    But you are reading this blog post, so you have the courage and will to do something about it. The good news is that you can come out of the scarcity mindset stronger and greater than ever.

    Because you will understand both mindsets very well, and you will become much more empathic. If you aren’t completely sure yet, let’s further examine what kind of damage you’re doing to yourself and others with the scarcity mindset.

    Scarcity mindset

    The maliciousness of the scarcity mindset

    Here is a big epiphany. Abundance is not the root of all evil. A lack of the abundance mindset is the root of all evil. There are three reasons why, 3 Cs:

    • Compensation
    • Control
    • Competition

    First of all, with the scarcity mindset you try to eagerly compensate for your early deprivation, whichever kind of deprivation it was – emotional, financial etc. It’s called greed. The scarcity mindset leads to a never satisfied soul that wants more and more of something only to feel fed somehow.

    The scarcity mindset leads to a never satisfied soul that wants more and more of something only to feel fed somehow. The scarcity mindset leads to a greedy soul. It can be greed for money, knowledge, attention, food, getting high or whatever.

    Money is not the root of all evil. Lack of money is the root of all evil.

    And don’t be fooled, there is no direct connection. You may have suffered financial poverty when you were young and later became overwhelmed by financial greed or any other type of greed.

    You may have suffered emotional scarcity in an early age and you may have become a sexual addict or, for example, money is the compensation helping you cope with your deprivation pain. There are many possible combinations.

    In any case, greed causes a lot of damage to you and people around you. With a greedy soul, it’s hard to set limits, it’s hard to ever be happy and satisfied, you just need more and more to somehow quench all the thirst.

    When greed takes over, you have no problem taking from the hands of other people, even in a very aggressive and demolishing way. People often do it not only in immoral, but also illegal ways.

    Then we have control. If you feel like you don’t have enough, because you didn’t get enough when you were young, you want to have as much control as possible over the things you do have – every relationship, every job, every dollar available to you, and so on.

    You cling to it like it’s a matter of life and death, even if you’re only trapped in an emotional cage – in a job you hate; an abusive relationship; money that isn’t yours or whatever.

    When you can’t control something, you go crazy. And you’re trying to control things that need to flow, not stand still. Money needs to flow, love needs to flow, markets need to flow. They can’t be controlled. When you’re trying to do such a thing, you’re going directly against the natural order of things, only hurting yourself and others.

    Last but not least, there is a fierce competition. If there isn’t enough out there and you have to compete with others for that little something, healthy competition becomes an overly aggressive one. Markets can definitely be tough.

    But seeing everyone as an enemy, as someone who is trying to take something away from you and you have to stamp down, is definitely not a nice life to live.

    With the scarcity mindset, nothing but aggressive competition, seeing danger in everything, over-controlling behavior and greed develop. You also don’t see opportunities at all and you feel like you don’t deserve things in life.

    Developing an abundance mindset

    Now it’s time to take action and to see how you can switch from the scarcity mindset to the abundance one. As mentioned, first you have to distinguish if you were exposed to real toxic deprivation in the early years – a lack of something in the combination with severe negative feelings – or were only small mistakes made in your upbringing.

    Secondly, you won’t achieve anything by feeling sorry for yourself or being mad at your parents, life, God or whoever. Now you are an adult and you are responsible for everything in your life. Even your scarcity mindset. The only winning situation is if you start doing something about it. And forgive, but that is a matter of another blog post.

    The important fact is also that you were probably only exposed to one kind of scarcity in your life. Maybe you were raised in a materially rich, but emotionally poor family. Or vice-versa. Maybe only your intellectual potential wasn’t stimulated.

    You have to see the good that was done to you in your upbringing, not only what you lacked. It’s the first step towards the abundance mindset. But it’s also true that the more areas that were influenced by poverty, the more work waits for you. On the bright side, you will learn so much more. So let’s start.

    An error in your subjective map

    The first thing you have to see is that the scarcity mindset is only a big error in your subjective map of reality, supported by a bunch of toxic beliefs and severe negative feelings. With the scarcity mindset, you are focused on what you lack in life most of the time.

    This is strongly corroborated by damaging (unconscious) beliefs and negative feelings of why you deserve such a thing. By focusing on something you lack, you’re either blind to all the opportunities or there is never enough, nothing can satisfy your thirst.

    Besides severe negative feelings (doubt, shame, inferiority etc.), there are many different toxic beliefs that can support your scarcity mindset. Here are a few examples of toxic supportive beliefs:

    • We are here on Earth to suffer, so I must also suffer (emotional scarcity)
    • There are so many people in poverty, so why would I deserve to be rich (material scarcity)
    • Rich people are corrupt and evil people (material scarcity)
    • Happy people are spoiled people who don’t know the hard realities of life (emotional scarcity)
    • Emotions are bad and only make you weak (emotional scarcity)
    • I must take away from others to have more in my life, so others will suffer if I take more (emotional scarcity)

    And:

    • It’s eat or be eaten and I’m not playing this game (material scarcity)
    • It’s eat or be eaten, so I must be tough on the people I love, and they will survive better
    • I don’t deserve to have that in life, because I’m a bad person (material scarcity)
    • Nobody really loves me; everyone just wants something from me (social scarcity)
    • I am not a creative person at all and I don’t know how to use computers (intellectual scarcity)
    • There are no right job opportunities for me and I don’t have good business ideas (competence scarcity)
    • I will never meet the right spouse for me and even if I do, there is not much I can offer in a relationship (emotional scarcity)

    There are hundreds of similar toxic beliefs that can support your scarcity mindset. They help you cling to the scarcity mindset at all costs and prevent you from seeing any different reality – usually because it’s too painful to see what you deserve and can have in life.

    So let’s try to find a few counterarguments that can collapse in ruin toxic beliefs.

    Abundance meme

    Proof of abundance in the world

    Let’s start first with the actual data about the world, the data that you probably somehow don’t see when your scarcity mindset is active. Here is the actual proof of abundance in the world:

    • There are around 7,000,000,000 people in the world, all your potential lovers, spouses, friends, social groups to join etc.
    • There is more than 4,000,000,000,000 USD in circulation (M0). Let’s not even mention all the virtual money and other material assets (land, gold etc.).
    • There are around 1,000,000,000 webpages and more than 130,000,000 books you can learn from – and more than a million books and new webpages published every day.
    • Only in the UK, they throw away 7 million tons of food and drink every year. It’s the first data I found online, I’m not singling out the UK for any specific reason.
    • There are more than 190 million registered companies you can work for in the world, 45,000 of them listed on the stock exchange.
    • There are more than 190 countries you can travel to and around 2,000,000 cities worldwide.
    • There are more than 200 different types of hobbies, more than 1000 different sports, more than 70 religions and belief systems, more than 30 different types of art, and so on.
    • You can buy the cheapest smartphone for around 30$.

    7,000,000,000 people and you would suffer in isolation; 4,000,000,000,000 USD and you don’t have any idea of how to contribute to the markets to make money; 130,000,000 books and you can’t find a book to be curious about; 190,000,000 companies and you don’t know how to find a job; 2,000,000 cities and you don’t like the place where you live; 1,200 different hobbies and sports, and you are bored. It can only happen if you are captured in an emotional cage.

    There is enough – for everyone. Also for you (if you don’t suffer from greed). And you deserve it. This doesn’t mean that poverty is not a real world problem (more about that later). But don’t let your scarcity mindset shift focus now. There is enough. For you as well. Period.

    See all the damage you’re doing with the scarcity mindset

    Now you know that there is enough for all of us in this world. Also for you. Now don’t fight it. Let’s take a step further instead. What is the real benefit of the scarcity mindset you have? Ask yourself honestly: does the scarcity mindset bring any good into your life, the life of the people you love or the world in general? It definitely brings the following things into your life:

    • You have to compensate for a shortage of something with greed in other areas of life
    • You are usually (unconsciously) envious of other people
    • You don’t contribute to the world as much with your talents as you could
    • You become a more and more bitter person and spread bitterness around to other people
    • If you don’t have it, you can’t give it and share it with others
    • Others won’t be better off if you sacrifice yourself, because there is enough for everyone
    • Last but not least, there is no room for failure and error with the scarcity mindset, because the risks are so much higher.

    Do you see all the bad that the scarcity mindset brings into your life? On the one hand, you have to compensate for your fears of not having enough, because you didn’t get enough as a small child. And usually you need to compensate exponentially.

    You may need to constantly feed your hungry soul with more money, sexual partners, social status etc. Because there is never enough. There can’t be.

    On the other hand, if you don’t feed your greed and somehow follow your goals and needs, you may become bitter, shy, extremely introverted, you symbolically castrate yourself not to do anything at all in life and you waste your potentials with procrastination, and so on. No good comes from the scarcity mindset, one way or the other.

    Find me one good thing that comes out of the scarcity mindset. None. So why are you clinging to it so hard?

    It’s not a zero-sum game

    As mentioned, the scarcity mindset develops because you were exposed to some kind of poverty. When there is a lack of something in life, fierce competition always develops.

    The underlying belief is that if you want something in life, you have to take it away from others, even with aggression. You don’t deserve it just because you are. Taking a toy from the hands of your sibling, doing a stupid thing as a kid to get attention from your parents etc.

    Even more. Because you didn’t get what you needed when growing up, you have trouble believing that people will give you what you need in (personal/business) relationships now that you’re an adult – love, attention, respect, payment.

    You don’t believe that people will give you all these things just because you are and you deserve them per se (because you can provide value and thus you are valuable), so you enforce politics, manipulation, control and drama in your relationships.

    You try to make sure you will get what you need, even in a shady way if necessary. You may even be doing it unconsciously, only to win the game, only to be on top of others and make sure you don’t lose.

    It may work if you’re good in domination and fierce competition, but what kind of a life is that, always watching your back to see who will try to out-throne you?

    The scarcity mindset is based on feudalism. There isn’t enough for everyone, so I better enslave others before they enslave me. If I want to have something, I must take it away from other people. But is life really a zero-sum game? Is there really no healthy alternative?

    • Is there really no way you can have enough and also share it with others?
    • Is there really no way to compete in a healthy way and encourage others instead of stifling them? And, of course, protect yourself with domination only when really necessary.
    • Is there no way you can give all the love needed to all your kids equally?
    • Is there really no way to see all the jobs you can work at, all the people you can connect with, all the things you can experience in life, without being scared? There may be a way.

    What do you say about the abundance model?

    Now let’s see how a life with the abundance mindset would look like. The abundance model is based on the following facts:

    • You deserve to take care of your needs in a healthy and respectful manner
    • You focus on all the opportunities you have and on becoming the best version of yourself
    • There are no limits to how much love, creativity and encouragement you can share
    • You can satisfy your material needs based on the market economy, not trampling other people
    • You can share material surpluses you make with the people you love and with communities
    • You use domination exclusively when you must protect yourself and are in danger

    If you aren’t greedy because of the scarcity mindset, you do have healthy limits as to how many material things you need in life. You deserve to live a quality and comfortable life, and you don’t need billions for that. With healthy limits, there is enough for everybody.

    You can make money for comfortable living by providing value to the market. You develop your talents as much as possible and the more value you provide, the more you can earn. There’s nothing wrong with that, if it’s not based on greed, where you want more and more, and outwork yourself to exhaustion and step over dead bodies to make another few dollars.

    Money has a tendency to concentrate, so if you are good, you can make a lot of money. Much more than you need. It’s not like you can limit how much your stock worth will increase. But with the abundance mindset, you shouldn’t have any problems sharing your surpluses with others. You can invest, donate money, build new businesses, there are many ways of doing good with a surplus of money.

    You just have to see how lucky you are. You live in the best times ever. A few hundred years ago, in the slave-based economy, that wasn’t even possible. Now in capitalism, you have the opportunity to be paid as much as you create value. History was based on the primitive scarcity mindset together with fear and violence. That’s why it’s so dark. That isn’t a mindset you want to operate on; and you don’t have to.

    The abundance mindset doesn’t mean that you should have unlimited material resources in life. It means that deep inside, you feel that you deserve good things in life; that you see all the opportunities you have and are grateful for them; that you have no problem sharing; and that you act out of prestige not dominance when fulfilling your needs, all in order to achieve a win-win situation in your relationships.

    With the abundance mindset, you know there are many people you can be friends with, you can always make new friends if you desire or a potential spouse. You trust yourself, you know you deserve love and you aren’t afraid of rejections or losing. You are aware that every rejection only means that you have to meet other people who are a better fit for you at the time.

    In relationships, you have no problem giving and receiving. You know there has to be balance. You aren’t envious or jealous, and you don’t compete with the people you love. Because there is enough for everybody.

    If you lose a job, you know you will find a new one. If you need more money to buy yourself something, you know there are many ways of making more money. If you feel lonely, you can always make new friends. With today’s technology, everything is accessible to you. You just have to see it; you just have to change your focus.

    With the abundance mindset, it still hurts when someone betrays you. It’s not easy if a love wears out. It’s not easy when you experience a setback in career or your finances. But it’s not the end of the world. You let yourself emotionally work through failure, and then you focus on the positive and life goes on. Without self-pity. Without aggression. Without self-castration. With gratefulness for what you have experienced in life and what you have.

    You let yourself emotionally work through failure, and then you focus on the positive and life goes on. Without self-pity. Without aggression. Without self-castration. With gratefulness for what you have experienced in life and what you have.

    Do you think that is a model you could live by? Something far away from the zero-sum game mindset? If you think so, let’s look at a few tricks that may help you achieve that.

    Secrets of Life

    A few tricks to develop an abundance mindset

    As mentioned many times, the first step you have to make is to see how much harm you’re doing to yourself and others with the scarcity mindset, then you have to become aware of the alternatives you have and, last but not least, you have to slowly change your mindset and destroy the underlying toxic beliefs, everything supported by action and execution.

    I honestly think that if your scarcity mindset is really strong, therapy is one of the best ways to tackle the problem. But if your thinking is only somehow damaged, there are a few tricks of developing an abundance mindset. To be more positive, here is the best news ever regarding the abundance mindset:

    It doesn’t cost you a single penny to update your mentality from the scarce to the abundance one. All you need is a little bit of courage.

    General tricks

    One very useful thing you can do to rattle the scarcity mindset is to write down all the things you already have in life and are grateful for. You have to focus on what you have if you want to attract even more into your life.

    You have to see that you deserve abundance on all levels and if you appreciate all the small things you already have, you can change your inner state to deserve the big things as well.

    The second thing you can do is to play with your fears. The scarcity mindset is especially based on the following fears:

    • Fear of rejection
    • Fear of abandonment
    • Fear of humiliation
    • Fear of being dependent on other people
    • Fear of missing out
    • Fear of being alone in life
    • Fear of your needs not being met

    Play with all these fears. Face them. Get rejected. Isolate yourself in monk mode. Be vulnerable. Try to curb your temptations. Practice minimalism. But be careful, the idea is not to stifle your needs and wishes even further, the idea is to face your fears, so you can more easily accept the abundance mentality by mastering your fears.

    The next thing you can do is to compare the life areas where you operate out of the abundance mindset with the areas you operate out of the scarcity mindset. Usually there are some areas where you have a strong mindset, you see all the positives and are a real peaceful warrior, and others where you struggle with the scarcity mindset and an emotional cage.

    You may, for example, have no problem earning and enjoying huge amounts of money, but on the other hand, you struggle with intimate relationship, not seeing all the opportunities or having many friends and social groups in life. Or vice versa.

    Find your strong convictions and your weak ones. Compare those two areas in your life. What are your underlying beliefs? Why do you have the abundance mindset in one area and not the other? How can you transfer the abundance mindset you’re enjoying in one area of life to all other areas where you struggle with the scarcity mindset?

    What you can also do is to have a good sense of how to distinguish between temporary states of lack and the general scarcity mindset. Everything in life and nature happens in cycles. Weather seasons. Market movements. An exchange of abundance and lack is always present. Nothing goes up forever.

    Even with the abundance mentality, you usually have to face the pain of shortage of resources from time to time. Remember, being broke is a temporary state, but being poor is a state of mind.

    Your job here on this beautiful planet is to learn and grow. Learning and growing can happen when you’re enjoying abundance and when you have to face limited resources. Both abundance and scarcity are great teachers.

    See the positive side of scarcity. You can learn many things about yourself and life from scarcity, much like you can from abundance. If you had an abundance of everything all the time, life would be boring, there would be no challenges and soon you would get used to it, so it wouldn’t even feel like abundance anymore.

    Scarcity is a part of life, with purpose. It’s a way to be more motivated and grateful for what you have. As you know, it’s quite hard to be grateful for something that you always had, because you don’t have a different experience. But don’t confuse limited resources with the scarcity mindset.

    With the abundance mindset, you should finally realize how little you need to be happy in life.

    Money

    Now let’s move from general advice to money. First of all, read statistics on how much money is out there. Read how much people spend on gambling, entertainment, food, investments etc. When you read about those numbers, you get the right perspective of how rich the world actually is.

    Then tackle your inner money beliefs. Start with sentences like Rich people are… and I am poor, because… and Money is…, and write down everything that comes to your mind. You will start tackling toxic beliefs.

    Ask yourself “why” 5 times, after you complete each sentence. You will get really good insight into your limiting convictions. Remember, being broke is a temporary situation but being poor is a state of mind.

    Have an amount of cash in your wallet that makes you uncomfortable (and you won’t seriously damage your finances if you get robbed). Make sure you never spend it. It must only serve as a reminder that you deserve it and that you can have enough money in life, the only thing preventing you from enjoying abundance is your scarcity mindset.

    When you get used to the amount in your wallet, add a few more bills.

    A similar thing you can do is to ask for a raise (if you deserve it), charge more on an hourly rate, find a better paying job or clients, and so on. You may not earn more working with the same people as you do now, but you can start working with new ones who are prepared to pay you more, if you only provide enough value.

    Or try to find one client that will pay you 10x more than what you’re currently earning per hour. Just try it, to rattle your inner beliefs of how much you deserve.

    Visualize money flowing into your life and having enough money on your bank account. Make sure you internalize how good it feels when you have money in your life. It’s not that it will actually happen if you only visualize it and do nothing.

    The purpose of this exercise is to change your inner state, your inner feelings about money. If you feel uncomfortable when visualizing big sums of money (I don’t deserve it…), it means that your scarcity mindset is controlling you.

    Read a lot about money management. I mean really a lot. By reading, you will update your money mindset by default. You will see how people with the abundance mindset think, what their money management strategies are, and so on. If reading any kind of money makes you throw up, you know you have big problems with the scarcity mindset.

    Also read biographies of people who were poor and became wealthy. Try to see whether their property is based on greed or on a healthy money blueprint, superior management and admissible assertiveness (do they share, do they exploit or provide value etc.).

    Analyze if they are doing good with their money or not. In addition to reading biographies, observe people and money beliefs of people who surround you. How where they raised. Do they act out of the scarcity or the abundance mindset? You will learn so much about yourself.

    Do things that annoy your toxic money beliefs and then analyze them through self-reflection. Don’t give a tip in a restaurant, if it’s not legally mandatory. Or give a much bigger tip than you usually do. Take all the change with every single penny when you make a purchase, if you don’t always do that. Or leave a few coins if you always take every single coin. Do the opposite in very small doses and observe how you feel.

    Career and competences

    Prepare a list of all your skills and strengths. Analyze which talents you can develop further, what the market demands are and how you can provide the most value to the world. Hang a list of your competences somewhere you can always see.

    In the second step, prepare a list of 50 companies you’d like to work for. Go through different directories, lists, companies you buy from etc. For every single company on your list, write down why you want to work there, how you can contribute and help them grow, and so on.

    Prepare a list of 100 business ideas for how you could make additional income in your life. Write down 20 people who can help you get a new job, can vouch for you or you can sell them something. Prepare an outstanding CV.

    Put everything in front of you and see all the options you have in life.

    Relationships

    Now comes the hardest part – relationships. It’s the hardest part because the scarcity mindset is developed out of relationships. The only real step you have to make to develop the abundance mindset is to increase your capacity of love, giving and receiving. Anyway, if that sounds too abstract, here are a few things that help manage relationships when you’re an emotional midget.

    First of all, go to a social skills course or take one online. Being good with people in general is a skill everybody can learn and nothing else. It’s only practice that you have to do and do it a lot – how to shake hands, smile, break the ice and hold a conversation.

    It’s a skill and so learn how to master it, no matter how scared and introverted you are. It will give you the courage to face your deepest fears and negative feelings.

    Secondly, know that we are all already connected. There is actually no ice to break. We all share the same planet, we are all made from the same material, we all have our own struggles and fights. Just show genuine interest in people and know that you’re already connected with everybody.

    Look for shared interests and values. With every new person you manage to truly connect with, you increase your capacity for love a little bit.

    Then always keep in mind that there are approximately 7,000,000,000 people in the world. Among them, there are your many potential friends, lovers, business partners. It’s impossible to be lonely with so many different people on the planet, as long as you don’t allow fears and the scarcity mindset to prevail.

    The toughest part to deal with are rejections. If someone rejects connecting with you, it can definitely hurt, especially if you suffer from the scarcity mindset. But it only means that this isn’t the right timing for this particular connection to be made. Luckily there are 6,999,999,999 or whatever number of other people you can connect with.

    Only rejections can lead you to the right people you have to connect with.

    One way to deal with rejections is to get more exposed to them. Face your fears. Your fears show you where you have to grow in life. Meet new people, open new conversations, be curious and proactive. You may throw up after the first few rejections, but you know, if you’re going through hell, keep going.

    To find the perfect spouse, brush up on your dating skills. It’s as necessary as learning social skills. Don’t be naïve and hope that a love fairy will do all the work instead of you.

    There are so many courses out there on how to be better at dating, you just have to be serious about achieving what you want in life. Raise your sexual market value, learn how to flirt, open new conversations, and so on.

    And as we mentioned, the scarcity mindset is a mindset of fear and control. So you may naively hope that love will do everything instead of you and bring the right person into your life, and then you can keep that person in your life with manipulation, control, only giving and not receiving or vice-versa, and so on. Work hard to start distinguishing between real love and connection and a desire to control people.

    It’s no different than tackling the scarcity mindset in other areas of life. Shift your focus to the positive. Take action. You deserve it.

    Abundance not

    What the abundance mindset isn’t

    There is one more topic we have to cover before we finish. Let’s analyze what the abundance mindset isn’t and how you can apply it into your life in a completely wrong way.

    As mentioned many times before, an abundance mindset is not a mindset based on greed. Greed comes from the scarcity mindset. If healthy competition, collaboration, sharing, positive feelings and prestige are involved, the abundance mindset is in play.

    If manipulation, exploitation, aggression, greed and humiliation are present, the scarcity mindset is in play.

    Positive = connecting and sharing

    Having an abundance mindset doesn’t mean that you delude yourself into thinking that there is no poverty in life and that there is no great gap between the rich and the poor. It exists and it’s a big problem.

    But only if you have abundance in your life, only if you serve as a role model, only if you are in power can you do something about it; and it’s your duty to help make the world a better place for generations to come.

    It’s better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.

    The abundance mindset is also not a naïve mindset that life is perfect and that you won’t encounter any problems. The world is tough. There is competition. Some resources are limited.

    There are people who will try to trample you, people who will disappoint you. It’s not that you should forget about it. You have to protect yourself. You have to be assertive in life. But it’s not how you should live the majority of your life.

    • You shouldn’t be a pussy in life, drowning in self-pity and procrastination. Life wants you to fight and become the best version of yourself, and make sure you provide enough value to acquire enough resources to live a quality life as well as share with others. You can achieve that by creating, not exploiting other people.
    • You have to focus on the positive and see all the opportunities you have in life and what the world has to offer to you.
    • You must make sure you don’t become a greedy person who fights to win by trampling down and destroying others.

    There is a fine balance between both extremes – greed and self-castration. Both are run on the scarcity mindset and in the middle lies the sweet spot, based on the abundance mindset. There come times when you have to be tough, sure. There will be times when you have to show that you have a spine of steel.

    But now you know. When people try to hurt you, they act out of the scarcity mindset. Now you understand that better. You can talk to them; you can explain to them what’s happening. And if it doesn’t work, don’t let haters ruin your life. Maybe you are the one clinging to them, because of the scarcity mindset.

    You can choose who you will spend time with. In your personal and professional life, you can definitely find people that will make your journey really worthwhile. You can always find people you respect and they will respect you. You can always find people with the abundance mentality and teach others how to live the positive life.

    Last but not least, you probably know now that the abundance mentality doesn’t mean having unlimited material resources in life. That’s not the point of the story. It’s how you experience the world.

    Homework

    The abundance mindset homework

    You read the whole article, bravo. You’re one of the few people who reached its end. That means you are serious about changing your mindset from the scarcity mindset to the abundance one. Here’s some simple homework you should to do to apply the theory in practice.

    Step 1: Rate from 1 to 10 how much you were exposed to poverty and how much to abundance in your early life in different life areas (emotional, intellectual, financial etc.). 1 means complete poverty and 10 complete abundance.

    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
    General stability of the home environment
    Attention to needs and wants
    Emotional availability of parents
    Intellectual stimulation
    Feeling of social belonging to family
    Money situation

    Step 2: For the areas in which you were exposed to poverty, further analyze your underlying toxic beliefs. Write down beginnings of sentences like Emotions are… and Money makes people… and so on, and write down everything that pops into your mind. After every sentence you write down, ask yourself “why” five times.

    Step 3: Observe yourself to see when you’re acting out of the scarcity mindset. When you don’t allow yourself to fail, when you don’t see all the options you have and what the world has to offer to you, when you’re acting out of negative feelings. Just become aware of your actions out of the scarcity mindset.

    Step 4: Attack. Go to therapy if necessary. Visualize. Do the opposite. Read. Share with others when you don’t want to. Get exposed. Get rejected. Prepare a list of how much the world has to offer. Get creative. Talk to other people. Win. Good luck.

  • Why you will never find happiness in life

    If you’re reading this article you’re probably not a super happy person; or maybe you think you should be happier in life than you actually are.

    I assume you already read dozens of articles listing “top ten things you should do” in life to be happier, and they surprisingly didn’t work. Probably you haven’t even tried those ten things, because you intuitively know they don’t work.

    Well, let’s build up a case here, see why these things don’t work, with a ray of hope at the end of the blog post for how you may actually find your own piece of happiness in life. If you’re looking for any miraculous solutions, you can stop reading the article at this point.

    How to find happiness in life

    Other people can’t make you happy

    The first wrong assumption is that other people can make you happy. If you hope that other people will make you happy, you’ve put your happiness into very risky hands. Other people will sooner make you miserable than happy, when you put your happiness in their hands.

    You may assume, for example, that you will be happy when you fall in love with the right person. Someone who will really love you back and understand you to the bone. And then it happens. And you’re happy all the way up to the first fight. Or the first time your love is in a bad mood. Or they flirt with someone else. Or whatever. Then everything collapses. And you’re unhappy again.

    Neither a perfect lover nor a perfect boss can make you happy. Or a new friend. Or an alien. Other people will sooner make you miserable than happy. Many unintentionally and many on purpose. Because they are just humans like you are. Much like you make others’ lives tougher if you’re unhappy. Why? Because people have to listen to all your bitching, whining and complaining, while deep inside they might hope you’ll make them happy.

    Much like you make others’ lives tougher if you’re unhappy. Why? Because people have to listen to all your bitching, whining and complaining, while deep inside they might hope you’ll make them happy.

    I know it kind of sucks. You can’t make other people permanently happy, other people can’t make you a happier person, but they can surely make you unhappy – an abusive partner or parents, a jackass boss or an ignorant friend or whoever you love.

    So here is what you should do regarding relationships and happiness:

    First of all, you should at all costs avoid people who make your life miserable intentionally or are zombies or energy vampires. And you should surround yourself with happy, encouraging and supportive people who bring out the best in you. While doing that, make sure you aren’t infecting them with your unhappiness.

    Then you should expect that even the loveliest people, even the most positive living beings, will hurt you from time to time. So you should always have a center on yourself, and be aware that your happiness shouldn’t depend on other people (we will see how you can achieve that at the end of the blog post).

    You can absolutely be in a bad mood when someone disappoints you, but you should also get yourself back in your center after a short while.

    Other people can’t make you a happy person, but they can make your life a little bit happier or completely miserable. So don’t put your happiness in the hands of other people, but make sure people aren’t the ones making you unhappy and miserable.

    If you cut out of your life all the negative people who drag your happiness level down, it may be a solution to being happier in life. But unfortunately, that’s rarely the case.

    You will probably find other things to be unhappy about or attract other assholes in life who will make you unhappy again. The outside world, including your relationships, only mirrors your inner emotional state and processes.

    If you’re unhappy, it’s very hard to have happy relationships. And if you were a happy person, you would have ditched the negative people in your life a long time ago. To sum up:

    • Crappy people in your life = May be the reason why you are unhappy in your life
    • No crappy people in your life = If you are still unhappy, read on

    Shopping will only make you happy for a while

    Shopping and fucking is the picture of happiness in the 21st century. Excuse my French. MTV, reality shows, ads. Shopping and fucking should make you really happy. Let’s dive deep into that assumption.

    In the previous epiphany, we already figured out that other people can’t make you happy. That includes their bodies. A lot of passionate sex can definitely contribute greatly to your quality of life, but it can’t make you happy.

    Much like any other addiction can’t, from alcohol to drugs and gambling. Right after the climax, you face the reality of life once again.

    It’s no different with shopping. Material things can bring you a short-term feeling of happiness. I’m happy like a child when I buy myself a new computer. But after a few days, my happiness level stabilizes to the default level. There is no possession in the world that could make you happy forever.

    You won’t believe it, but I did ride a jet ski once and was not very happy.

    Research has shown that when extremely good things, like winning the lottery, or extremely bad things, like accidents, happen to people, it only influences their happiness level in the short term. After a while, people are generally as happy or unhappy as they used to be.

    So shopping and fucking won’t bring real happiness into your life. At least not in the long term.

    • Shopping = Short-term happiness
    • Addictions = Short-term happiness
    • If you go too far with addictions or, in addition, you get yourself even more in debt for your unnecessary shopping excursions, it’s the perfect recipe for being even less happy in the long term

    Shopping is not happiness

    Money only helps in the beginning

    I was really poor when I was young. And I worked hard as hell to save some money on my bank account. Money can’t make you happy, but a lack of it can definitely make your life miserable. If you can’t afford a thing and you’re constantly scared of how you’ll go through the next month, you don’t have time to be happy.

    Worry takes everything away. Much like if a lousy boss destroys your day the moment you walk into the office.

    You see, it’s the same as it is with people. A shitty relationship will make you unhappy. Lack of money will definitely make you unhappy. But having both will only contribute a little to your long-term happiness level. Go figure.

    So yes, money can contribute a lot to happiness to a certain point. It’s an enabler of happiness, like good relationships are. It’s hard to be happy if you are poor and drowning in debt or if you have an energy vampire spouse.

    I guess the magical amount of money is somewhere between 2x and 3x of an average salary in your living area (and not drowning in debt) when money still plays a great role in your happiness levels.

    With savings in your bank account, there’s still a great probability that you’ll be unhappy at some point, but you are at least not that stressed out. Yes, money can’t buy happiness, but it can make you less unhappy and less under pressure. And it can solve many of your problems.

    But after 2-3x of average salary, money has zero contribution to your happiness level.

    • Poverty = Definitely a strong reason why you can’t be happy
    • You have quality relationships in your life with no zombies, you don’t look for happiness in material things and addictions, you earn 2-3x of average salary, but are still unhappy? Read on.

    Accomplishments aren’t happiness

    The next thing you may confuse is happiness with accomplishments. When you achieve something new, when there is a new accomplishment to add to your success list, you probably feel happy. But again, only for a while.

    Here’s the first issue. Your brain prefers to remember all your failures rather than successes. In a jungle, if you failed to escape a tiger that would have been much more tragic and mandatory to remember than if you won a village coconut tree climbing competition.

    Thus you tend to forget every one of your accomplishments very quickly and every failure sticks with you much longer. If you fail at public speaking, for example, your brain will make sure that it’s going to be much harder to step on the podium next time.

    That’s what you have to deal with. Success brings short-term happiness and soon you forget about everything. You can experience a failure and it can stay with you for a long time, especially if you don’t gather the courage to manage and overcome your fears.

    It definitely helps to have a list of your past accomplishments to remind you how awesome you are. It helps you see the objective reality and it helps to gather courage for new challenges and get out of the comfort zone. But it’s not the recipe for long-term happiness.

    • You need accomplishments in life to feel happy and good in your skin
    • Accomplishments won’t bring you real happiness in life

    Things that increase happiness just a little bit

    Research has shown that there are a few things that greatly contribute to your happiness level:

    1. Regular exercise
    2. Enough socializing
    3. Meaningful work
    4. Not being overwhelmed by work
    5. Gratefulness

    These things definitely contribute to your happiness level. You can read more here about these six things that contribute to being a more happy person.

    They will definitely increase your happiness level to a certain degree, but they won’t convert you from an unhappy to a happy person. Unfortunately, the doors to eternal happiness are not that easy to open. Again there’s a twisted catch.

    If you don’t socialize enough and isolate yourself, you will definitely become unhappy sooner or later. Short-term isolation (like being in monk mode) may sometimes help you advance in life, but we are social beings, so we have to socialize.

    If you don’t take care of your body, you will have health problems sooner or later, and health issues will definitely make your life miserable. You will feel great after exercise. But it won’t make you a permanently happy person.

    If you work at a job you don’t like, aren’t good at what you do or don’t feel like you contribute, it’s hard to be happy. You spend one third of your life at work. You can’t hate what you do 1/3 of your life and be a happy person. Maybe for a few hours on a Friday night, but that’s it.

    Another mistake of how you can chase away happiness is to be drowning in tasks, even if you enjoy your work. It’s an addiction, it’s called workaholism. Sooner or later the stress levels become too high. When you get the feeling that you have more on your plate than you can handle, your nervous system will go crazy, goodbye happiness.

    And it’s really hard to be happy if you don’t see what you have in life, and you only focus on what you lack. Gratefulness really can change your perspective on life. But it usually makes you a more grateful (obviously) and peaceful person, not happy.

    If you don’t have all these things in life it’s hard to be happy – modest exercise, a job you love, enough socializing, and gratefulness. But even if you have all of them, happiness is not guaranteed.

    If you are chronically unhappy all these things may help you a little bit, but in general you will still find 1001 reasons to be unhappy.

    So what is the solution then? Wait a moment, before we go to the true source of unhappiness, there’s one more trap.

    Expectations Vs Reality

    Gap between expectations and reality

    The media world is creating a big gap between expectations and reality. In the media world, everyone is handsome, rich, happy and living their dream. Every day, you’re exposed to thousands of ads showing you all these happy people.

    Not surprisingly, that’s also why you connect happiness with buying new things. And you figure out that shopping doesn’t really bring long-term happiness.

    Now if you sit on the subway in any major city in the world, you see that the media world is far from reality. Beautiful people are not that common. People have life scars and bruises on their faces. Many people seem sad and depressed. It’s no paradise. It’s a fight.

    Accepting reality isn’t easy. Everybody wants to live like a Hollywood star, but only one out of million is that lucky. And not all movie superstars are super happy. Money, fame and looks help live a quality life in a great way, but they don’t bring happiness, as we’ve discussed earlier.

    But hoping and expecting that you’ll live the life of a Hollywood star by posting a few photos on social media is a recipe for a happiness disaster. It’s the same as if you expect that love will do all the hard relationship work instead of you or that you will have a six-pack by going to the gym once in a while.

    Everything you want to have in life, you have to work hard for. And many times you don’t even get it. Some things are not even accessible to you at all. In some life areas, you’re better off, in others you’re far behind the average, depending on your genes, smarts, inheritance etc.

    Life isn’t fair and you have to play with the cards you were dealt. If you don’t accept that, you will always be unhappy. If you will live in a naïve illusion of how the world should be and that you may get lucky someday, you will definitely be unhappy. To be really happy, you have to accept the reality of life.

    But if you decide to accept it, there is a big trap you can fall into. Instead of accepting reality, you lower your standards. You give up and decide to not fight. To not strive for progress and improvements.

    Instead of accepting that you have to work hard for years to get a good-looking body, to find the work you enjoy, a person who is your perfect fit for a spouse, you simply give up and go where life kicks you. And usually that isn’t any place nice. If you aren’t going forward, you’re going backwards. If you’re going backwards, your unhappiness slowly rises.

    It’s a tricky situation again. You have to narrow the gap between your expectations and what is really achievable in life from your starting point.

    At the same time, you mustn’t lower your standards and make sure you keep the growth mindset. Not going forward means a disaster in life sooner or later, and disasters are nothing but a big pile of unhappiness.

    • Living in a naïve media world of fame of fortune = Fake happiness
    • Accepting reality = Hard but the only way of being truly happy
    • Lowering your standards and not going forward in life = Unhappiness comes sooner or later

    To sum up, here is what you should do to be happy in life, but even if you do it, it’s not a guarantee that you will really be happy. Probably not.

    • Having a happiness center on yourself (being aware that you are the only one responsible for your happiness)
    • No crappy people in your life
    • Lots of socializing and love – spouse, family, friends
    • Earning 2x – 3x of the average salary in an industry you love
    • Understanding that material things and shopping won’t bring happiness
    • You need accomplishments, but they are a different category from happiness
    • Be as healthy as possible with regular exercise
    • Do meaningful work and don’t be drowning in tasks
    • Focus on what you have in life, not what you lack; practice gratefulness
    • Make sure you go forward in life with the growth mindset
    • Don’t live in a naive fictional world, accept reality as it is

    All that, but happiness is still not guaranteed? Now it may seem that everything is hopeless. So let’s try to turn things around a little bit. Here is the right question.

    What causes you to naturally do all the things stated above, without forcing yourself to do it? Loving yourself and life. Lack of it is the real reason behind your unhappiness.

    The secret to why you aren’t happy in life

    Here is a simplified model. When you are born, your mother is your whole world. Read that again. Your whole world. Her emotional availability, her smile, her relationship with your father, her attention to your needs, that’s your whole world.

    When you become just a little bigger, your home becomes your whole world. The relationship with your mother, father, siblings and other relatives. Your home becomes your whole world.

    You see where this is going. Your relationships with your parents, your home and your early experiences in life become the basic model on which you interpret how the world looks like. Your map. Your subjective reality. Your happiness potential.

    If your parents were not happy, if your home was not a happy environment, how could you be a really happy person?

    Now here are the two tricks.

    You have to see your parents as perfect when you are little, so you feel secure. Because only perfect parents can protect you. Consequently, you project their faults on yourself.

    You’re the one responsible for their imperfections – fights, divorce, misfortune and sadness. You think it’s you. The shittier their relationship, the shittier you see yourself. Harder to be happy.

    Here’s another catch.

    You need an environment that is loving, stable, encouraging, and pays attention to your needs and potentials. If you have all that, you develop trust in life and people, you have a sense of autonomy, you take initiative and you become aware of how you can contribute to the world with your competences.

    If you don’t have a stable and loving home, shame, guilt, doubt and inferiority develop.

    Have you ever seen a happy person being torn apart by shame, guilt and doubt when following their own goals? No. A happy person:

    • Likes themselves as they are
    • Has a strong sense of self and their autonomy
    • Has no problems with their needs being met
    • Knows how to express feelings
    • Knows where they’re going in life and what they want
    • Is not afraid of conflict and knows how to set boundaries
    • Takes initiative and contributes creative ideas

    If you don’t express and assert yourself in a healty kind of way, no shopping spree, accomplishment or relationship will help you with your happiness levels.

    Again, here is a very simplified version of what happens. Over the years, you internalize your mother’s voice and your father’s voice and the voice of other people who brought you up as your inner voice. And you see the world as you saw your “home” environment.

    Now, no environment is perfect, there must be friction, because friction causes a desire for personal growth and development. But there is a point where the environment becomes toxic and basically destroys a child’s life and their potential for happiness.

    That’s the main reason why you are unhappy. Your inner voice and your subjective map of the world. That can happen in hundreds of different ways, from a depressed mother when you were infant, an unstable home with lots of fights or moving from city to city, an emotionally cold home, overly critical parents, nobody considering your needs etc.

    Here’s one more catch. You remember when I mentioned that you have to see your parents as perfect. Well, many people never realize that their parents aren’t perfect. They still think their unhappiness has nothing to do with their home environment. It has.

    Unfortunately, if you can’t see this, you often do the same things to your kids. No one can be the perfect parent. But it’s mandatory to not be a toxic parent.

    I don’t know how your unhappiness was triggered in your home environment. But I certainly know that every article starting with “10 things you should do to be happier” is misleading you. It may help a little, but it’s not the source of your real problem. To blame your home environment or your past also won’t do any good.

    That’s the main reason why you are unhappy. Your cold and critical inner voice and your subjective map of the world where there is no place for your happiness.

    There is actually only one thing you have to do, assuming that there is no other solid thing that can be blocking your happiness, like drowning in debt, having a shitty boss etc. You have to change how you see yourself and how you see the world. You need to rewire your brain. You need to finally allow yourself to be happy. There is no outside factor that can make you really happy in life.

    You need to reshape your internal perception; you have to upgrade your subjective reality map and your inner voice. The good news is that it can be done. The bad news is that it’s a long and demanding process. But if you’ve read the article all the way to this point I have no doubt that you’re motivated.

    Unhappy home environment

    Cognitive therapy and emotional accounting

    You are unhappy because of your negative inner dialogue. In other words, your negative thoughts. You may not be even aware of it. Your inner voice is constantly there and it’s similar to the environment you were raised in.

    It can be a cold voice, a critical voice, a pessimistic one, or negative in any other kind of way. That is what is causing your unhappiness.

    Sometimes it slips out of people as self-dialogue. I’m such a clumsy person. Many people are not even aware of their inner voice. But the extent of your negative inner voice is enormous. It makes you unhappy, your mood slumps, your self-image crumbles, your body doesn’t function properly, your willpower gets paralyzed, etc.

    There are 10 different types of negative thinking that make you an unhappy person:

    • All-or-nothing thinking
    • Overgeneralization
    • Mental filter
    • Disqualifying the positive
    • Jumping to conclusions
    • Magnification and minimization
    • Emotional reasoning
    • Should statements
    • Labeling and mislabeling
    • Personalization

    The first step of becoming aware of your negative inner dialogue is to pay better attention to it. You have to build a better connection with yourself and really hear your inner voice.

    You will hear your parents, your experiences, your environment in it. And then you will see how negative it is. How it makes you unhappy. How is never ever anything good enough.

    Here’s a simple exercise you should start with. First get familiar with all 10 different types of negative thinking. Then count the number of negative thoughts that pop up in your head every day. Buy some kind of a counter and start counting them. Just to become aware. It’s called mental biofeedback.

    If there is no inner smile on your face, you are thinking something negative. Now become aware of it!

    When you become a master of observing your inner dialogue, you need to slowly change it. It’s called emotional accounting. You basically draw a table with five columns:

    • Negative thought (“I am so clumsy”)
    • What kind of a negative feeling it causes and its intensity from 1 to 10 (“Anger, 9”)
    • Type of negative thinking (“Overgeneralization”)
    • Rational response – correction (“Not true; it does happen to me from time to time, like every other person alive. I am handy at lots of things, for example …”)
    • Intensity of the negative feeling after the correction (“Anger, 3”)

    The key is to correct your inner voice with a rational response. That way, you slowly begin changing your inner voice to a more positive one. Not surprisingly, you also become a more positive and happy person.

    It’s a demanding task, but worth it. If you find it too difficult, you can maybe do it with a therapist. There are many good cognitive therapists that will help you to fix your inner dialogue and give you additional advice on how to become a happier person.

    But even with cognitive therapy, there is one more thing you’re missing.

    Rewriting your brain with the new experience

    Only updating your inner dialogue may not be enough, especially if you do it the wrong way. For example, if you try to force yourself to change your inner dialogue. You only make it even more negative. You reinforce its negativity.

    The ultimate way to rewrite your childhood experience is a new experience. An experience of a stable, loving, encouraging and warm environment that pays attention to your needs. You experience a new kind of relationship that becomes your new inner voice.

    As you might have guessed, that takes years of work, but it’s probably the ultimate way of becoming a happier person. It’s one of the aspects of how psychoanalysis works. More about it in one of the following blog posts.

    If you are unhappy, your unhappiness will only grow stronger with age. I thought it was the hardest in adolescence, but I was wrong. There are a few things you can do to really become a happier person. But they aren’t as easy as many articles suggest.

    Nevertheless, if you decide to do something about your happiness levels, it’s time you start doing research and find more information on how it can really be done. Start by researching cognitive psychology and psychoanalysis.

  • The morning kick-off routine

    The second you wake up in the morning is by far the best moment in your day to develop the most important life habits. The reason for that is pretty simple. Every new habit you want to develop in life needs a strong reminder for what you need to do and a big reward for doing it. The reminder is a trigger you need that sets off the new desired behavior.

    The biggest issue with the habit loop (reminder – routine – reward) is that the reminder has to be strong, loud and clear so you hear it. If there are too many distractions in the environment or if you’re too tired, chances are that you’ll ignore the reminder and wave goodbye to the new habit.

    There are two moments every day in your life that work great as triggers for new habits. It’s when you wake up and before you go to sleep. Before 9 am and after 9 pm, everything is quiet and peaceful. No distractions, no rush, and an opportunity for your reminders to be heard.

    Throughout the day, you’re usually extremely busy, running from one activity to a meeting to another task and so on. Your phone keeps ringing; your inbox is filling up and you face many unexpected events. There is no room for reminders and new habits. But mornings and evenings are different. They are perfect for developing a new habit.

    The second issue with the habit loop (reminder – routine – reward) is that you need to have enough discipline muscle strength left to perform a new routine. When something becomes a habit, you do it subconsciously, you don’t need to put in a lot of conscious effort.

    But when you’re developing a new habit, you need to force yourself a little bit to perform the new routine. That takes a lot of effort, especially in the beginning, before routines turn into real habits.

    Daily challenges and decisions slowly eat away your capacity for discipline and cognitive abilities. It’s quite hard to follow any new serious enforced routine during the day when you’re stressed out and burdened with many things and choices. It’s no different after a hard working day. It’s hard to find any motivation and energy to perform new demanding behaviors.

    Obviously, if your muscle discipline is still fresh and strong in the morning, you want to develop morning habits that take more effort and discipline. On the other hand, your evening routine should be more about relaxation, reflection and calming down.

    Morning kick-off routine

    My morning kick-off routine

    Now that I’m in monk mode and without a schedule, I can experiment more with my morning kick-off routine. After a month of experimenting, I’ve found a routine that currently works well for me and empowers me to stay sharp and focused through the day.

    I do seven things as part of my morning kick-off routine, and it takes me from 1.5 to 2 hours to complete it. I aim for 1.5 hours, so as to not waste too much time on starting my day right. Here they are:

    1. Morning reflection and planning meeting with myself
      • Happiness index
      • Self-analysis and dream analysis
      • One thing I am grateful for
      • One thing I want in life
      • Things I will create today (the three most important tasks)
      • True North
    2. Meditation
    3. Visualization
    4. Morning stretching
    5. Reading something positive
    6. Power breakfast
    7. Cold shower

    The most important thing for performing my morning routine is to go to bed early and wake up fresh after getting enough sleep. On rare occasions when I go to sleep late, for whatever reason, I simply don’t have enough motivation to perform the morning routine the next day.

    It’s no problem if it happens from time to time, but if it happens too often, you quickly fall out of your routine. So I always go to bed early and wake up early.

    I know I need 8 hours of sleep and I always make sure I meet that. By going to bed early, I can’t remember the last time I needed an alarm clock to wake up. And when I wake up, before I do anything else, I brush my teeth and drink a big glass of water to rehydrate my body. Then my morning kick-off routine starts.

    Morning reflection and meeting with myself

    Morning reflection is the most important thing to do in the morning and it helps me a lot, especially to better understand myself, my feelings and needs, my motivations, the people around me and the environment in general. The first thing I do is take a deep breath, listen myself for a moment and note on my happiness index how happy I am on a scale from 1 to 10.

    It’s a great way to begin self-analysis and go through situations that are currently happening in your life, things that bother you, things you like and enjoy, your motivations, behaviors, intentions, feelings and other internal processes.

    If I remember my dreams, I include them in my self-analysis, especially focusing on how I felt during the dreaming phase and how that’s connected to current life events. This gives me really good insights, especially into my negative feelings and a small glimpse of my subconscious processes. With time, you have access to more and more of your subconscious material.

    In the next step, I write down one thing I’m grateful for. It helps me to keep perspective on how blessed I am in life. It’s easy to forget what you have in life. It takes a minute to write it down and it’s not hard to come up with things you are grateful for. You just write down the first thing that pops up in your mind. At the end of each month, I plan to gather and organize everything in one list (also published online), which will be my updated ultimate gratefulness list.

    I also write down one thing I want in life every day. From gadgets, countries to travel, things to experience, etc. This is a different kind of exercise, and it helps me to stay in touch with my needs and wants. The important purpose of your life is to fulfill your needs. If you don’t do that, you become a bitter person sooner or later.

    You may be neglecting your needs because your environment (parents) didn’t pay much attention to what you really wanted in life. I mean what you wanted, not what was “best” for you. If you aren’t paying attention to your needs at all, you’re on the other extreme of greed. Both extremes cause depression, bitterness, anger and other negative feelings.

    The next thing I do as part of my morning meeting is to analyze what I’ve done the day before and write down the three most important tasks I have to do on a particular day. I also ask myself if there are any obstacles preventing me from achieving my daily working goals and how to remove them. I end my morning analysis by asking myself if I’m following my true north or, in other words, following my real life vision and life mission.

    It takes me from 15 to 20 minutes to finish this part of my morning routine.

    Meditation

    I definitely need to develop better control over my mind. Meditation is the right exercise for that. So, I’m practicing morning meditation, right after my morning reflection. I use the Headspace app for that. The app is really good and recommended by many sources. Meditating for 10 minutes as part of the first 10-day session was a piece of cake and I really liked it.

    Now I’m at 15-minute sessions and am struggling quite a bit. Interestingly enough, after 10 minutes it’s hard for me to keep my mind focused and relaxed for another 5 minutes. On bad days, I even become angry and frustrated for not being able to complete the exercise like I want to. So I take it slowly and take a break if I feel overwhelmed.

    The plan is to keep meditating, first mastering the 15-minute sessions and then going up to 20 minutes. We’ll see where meditation practice takes me afterward. I learned to keep my goals lean and agile and not to plan too far.

    Visualization

    After meditation, I take not more than 3 minutes for visualization I currently have a few important goals in my life and visualization is the most appropriate tool for mental rehearsal of how I’ll get there as well as for adjusting my inner vibrations to my new goals.

    It helps me stay focused during the day and not lose track of where I want to go in life. My visualization is especially connected to changing my identity and how I see myself and what I deserve in life.

    Reading something positive

    As the last step of the kick-off routine dedicated to my mind, I read something positive or eye-opening. I’m addicted to reading and there is no perfect morning without a few minutes of reading and thinking about new ideas.

    But I don’t take more than a few minutes for reading something positive (evenings are reserved for that) because there are three more things to do as part of my kick-off routine, dedicated to connecting myself with my body.

    Strangely, I’m much more connected to and familiar with my mind (even if it behaves like a spoiled child) than I am with my body. But I intend to change that in the next months or even years. Who knows how long it will take to establish a better connection to my body.

    Morning stretch

    I don’t exercise in the morning because it’s my brain’s prime time. After my kick-off routine, I go straight to working and creating new awesome things. There may be rare exceptions if my energy levels are too low and I need to recharge or if I need to put my body instead of my mind in motion for any reason.

    For example, after an argument, I need a walk because I’m too stressed to think. In the summer, when temperatures skyrocket after early morning, that may also change.

    Well, exercising in the morning is currently simply not optimal for me. But as I mentioned, I keep everything in my life open, agile and lean. At the moment, I exercise in the afternoons (a few times per week) when my mind is already tired.

    Nevertheless, what I do in the morning are some very basic stretching exercises for improving my posture. Stretching also helps me become more aware of my body and reminds me that I have to take good care of it.

    Power breakfast

    At this point, I’m usually pretty hungry already. I always make sure to have enough time to make myself a real power breakfast. Far from the standard breakfast, like a piece of bread with jelly. For me, it’s the most important meal of the day. I need a quality breakfast and I need to eat lunch before 2 pm. Everything else can be flexible.

    My diet includes carb cycling. When I eat carbs, I eat the majority of them in the morning or after training. So the kind of breakfast I make myself depends on whether I have a carb or a non-carb day. If I’m on a non-carb day, I make sure to get enough healthy fats. If I have a carb day, I eat a healthy breakfast with complex carbs.

    The protein level stays the same every morning or, to be more exact, with every meal. I also take core supplements with my breakfast and drink green tea.

    Interestingly enough, I started watching Lynda.com educational movies when I eat breakfast. I know that maybe I should pay more attention to food, but I like knowledge much more than food.

    It takes me around 30 minutes to prepare myself breakfast and eat it in peace; and I also get around 15 – 20 minutes of learning out of it.

    Cold shower

    I’m experimenting a little bit with a cold shower as the last step of my kick-off routine. There are a lot of resources and research claiming that a cold morning shower has great positive benefits for your health and your mood.

    It makes you more alert, alive and it boosts your immune system. I’m not there yet, I can’t take a cold shower every morning because it’s still too stressful for my body, but I will get there slowly, I guess.

    I will let you know if cold morning showers work for me in the long-term as part of my daily routine. Afterward, I end my morning kick-off routine and it’s time to work and create good things. Like writing this article.

    To sum things up, here is my morning kick-off routine that I currently enjoy and have set for myself after a lot of experimenting in the past month:

    Activity Time Level
    Morning reflection 20 min Mind / Emotions
    Meditation 15 min Mind / Emotions
    Visualization 2.5 min Mind / Emotions
    Reading something positive 2.5 min Mind / Emotions
    Morning stretch 10 min Body
    Power breakfast 30 min Body
    Cold morning shower 10 min Body
    Total time 90 min

    Reminders for morning routine

    Reminders

    I don’t need a lot of reminders to trigger my routine. I wake up and I know what I have to do. I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and drink a big glass of water, and when I come to the living room I see my notebook on the table and start with morning reflection.

    I have a checklist of what I have to do, in order to not forget anything, and I keep my transaction costs as low as possible, so nothings burden my discipline muscle too much.

    For example, I don’t search from scratch for where to read something positive, but I already have a queue of short texts I have to read. My exercise equipment is always at hand; I make sure I have no junk food at home etc.

    To be honest, I don’t always perform my morning routine. I figured out that I have to break out of every routine I follow from time to time in order to really stick to it in the long term.

    Thus on some days, usually a weekend day, I do completely different things or nothing at all. In the same way, for example, I do follow a strict diet, but from time to time you’ll see me stuffing my face at McDonalds.

    It somehow helps me not to feel caught in something and afterwards I can again more easily follow my routine. It definitely works for me. And I know I have enough discipline to not get into any bad habits. I would say that I do it approximately on 90 % of my days, which is enough for me and enough to see constant little improvements in my life.

    In much the same way, I’m currently experimenting with my shut-down routine, which is yet far from perfect. At the moment, I only make sure I go to sleep early and that I read before I fall asleep. I have a rule that I simply mustn’t go to sleep without reading at least one page of a book.

    I usually read a lot more, of course, but reading at least one page per day is an achievable and reasonable goal every single night, to keep my reading habits sharp.

    I will share more with you once I find the shut-down routine that works for me perfectly. In the meantime, here’s some homework for you.

    Homework

    Go to sleep one hour earlier (instead of watching TV, socializing, etc.) and wake up one hour earlier. Now for one month, try to do four different things from the list below every morning. Try one new thing a week.

    Observe yourself and find how different morning habits positively influence your day and your general happiness levels.

    See what works for you, develop a habit out of things that work and ditch the things that bring you no value.

    Make your mornings a special ritual dedicated only to yourself to celebrate another day of being alive, and see it as an expression of commitment that you will take good care of your mind, body, emotions and the most important relationships in your life throughout the day.

    Here’s a list of 50+ things you can try as part of your morning kick-off routine:

    1. Analyze your dreams
    2. Brainstorm 100 ideas
    3. Research business ideas
    4. Clean your computer
    5. Clean your house
    6. Do brain exercises
    7. Do yoga
    8. Get to know new technology
    9. Have sex
    10. Imagine how the world will look like in 100 years
    11. Improve your English
    12. Invent a new machine
    13. Learn a new language
    14. Learn new words
    15. Listen to an audio book
    16. Listen to classical music
    17. Make yourself a power breakfast
    18. Make yourself a veggie smoothie
    19. Meditate
    20. Morning reflection and planning meeting with myself
    21. Organize your desk
    22. Paint, draw or do any other kind of art
    23. Perform self-massage
    24. Philosophy about life
    25. Picture your ideal day
    26. Play chess
    27. Practice belly breathing
    28. Practice to love yourself
    29. Practice your hobby
    30. Pray
    31. Read a book
    32. Read inspirational quotes
    33. Read something positive
    34. Recite affirmations
    35. Review your life vision
    36. Strategize
    37. Stretch
    38. Take a cold shower
    39. Take an online course
    40. Take a walk
    41. Have a deep talk with your spouse or a friend
    42. Think of life experiments you can do
    43. Throw away stuff you don’t need
    44. Try five different teas (without sugar)
    45. Visualize
    46. Watch the sunrise
    47. Watch TED Videos
    48. Write a love poem
    49. Write a message to all the people you love
    50. Write a story
    51. Write down all the things you are grateful for
    52. Write down all your past accomplishments