practical examples

  • The proactive way to taking breaks throughout the day

    Your approach to life must always be proactive. You always have to be one step ahead of life and even of yourself – or, to be more exact, your instinctive behavior. You should never do things only because you are used to doing them or other people are doing them, but always ask yourself why you are doing certain things and where does that lead you.

    Proactive living also includes planning how many breaks you take during the day and what kind of activities you do when you have the time off.

    You aren’t only more productive during working hours if you plan your brakes in a smart way. Even more importantly, if you learn how to proactively take breaks throughout a day, it makes the off-time and your life in general so much more enjoyable and fun. It may sound easy to proactively plan breaks, but in reality it’s not. That’s why most people aren’t doing it. We have to even put together a few core concepts to understand what proactive breaks really are.

    In this article, you will learn everything necessary to really max out every single break you take. As you’ve probably figured out, taking a proactive break doesn’t mean checking social networks, but doing completely different things.

    It may not be easy to switch to proactive breaks, but it’s definitely worth it. If you follow the advice in this article, the final result won’t only be in your much higher productivity, but also in a big increase in your happiness levels.

    Refresh recharge

    The reactive way to taking your breaks

    If we want to understand what it means to proactively take a break, we must first look at the opposite – reactive breaks. Taking a break reactively means that you don’t really take a break, but switch to an activity of the least physical or mental effort that you think is relaxing you, but most often is putting additional emotional stress on you.

    When the break time comes, you only react to your environment and start doing something that feels the easiest and most convenient thing to do. Much like reactive reading means that you only read stuff that lands in your social networks’ newsfeed and never really consciously decide what book to read. You only instinctively react to outside stimuli; you aren’t really in charge.

    Examples of reactive breaks are all the things that more than 80 % of people do when they take a break:

    • Checking social networks
    • Going to the company’s kitchen and gossiping a little bit
    • Eating an unhealthy snack and reading a trashy magazine or webpage
    • Reading newspapers and similar

    It may seem that those kinds of things relax you, but in reality they do not. Much like it may feel that you sleep better if you drink a little bit of alcohol before sleep, but in reality you aren’t, proven by science.

    In the same way, checking social networks only puts additional social stress on you (how others are maybe enjoying life more than you), gossiping is destroying your key relationships, checking way too negative newspapers feeds your mind with nothing but crap.

    The solution to better breaks is simple. You must plan your daily breaks smarter. What you want to achieve by planning proactive breaks is to do the activities that really relax you, make you happier and recharge your batteries.

    You want to deeply and honestly look forward to your breaks. You want to be in charge of your breaks, not your instincts.

    The puzzles of proactively taking a break

    Now we know that checking social network feeds or gossiping aren’t very smart ways of taking a break. But what else could you do?

    Well, let’s put together a few puzzle pieces to build an adequate solution. When we put together the puzzle pieces, you will get many good ideas on how to proactively take a break.

    Sharpening the saw and putting down the saw

    There are two ways of how you can take a break – an active one and a passive one. A passive smart break equals to putting down the saw. In other words, doing nothing that takes any effort. You hibernate in a way and recharge your batteries.

    Examples of passive breaks are taking a nap, sitting in a chair and enjoying rays of sunlight on your face, talking a really easy walk, and so on.Sharpen the saw

    The second way to take a break is a more active one. An active smart break equals sharpening your saw in one way or another. You exploit breaks to be more productive during your work time.

    Examples of active breaks are reading a book, going for a more intense walk, watching an online course, brainstorming ideas, stretching, cooking yourself a healthy meal, and so on.

    When you are proactively planning your breaks, you decide how many active and how many passive breaks you will have. You can decide that based on how mentally or physically demanding your daily tasks are, based on the current goals you have in your life and other key factors.

    Systematically planning the number of breaks

    Even more important is that you do take regular breaks and that you systematically plan them. You can set alarms for breaks if necessary. Because the worst thing you can do is to take no breaks at all. If you don’t take breaks, your saw sooner or later gets used up and your work is not as productive anymore as it could be.

    That’s also where the term comes from. To cut a long story short, two foresters are cutting down trees and the one who takes the time to sharpen his saw regularly does it much faster, even if sharpening the saw takes away some working time.

    Taking breaks throughout the day

    So lesson number one: take regular breaks – passive and active ones. There are many systems for how frequently you can plan breaks. Test and see what works best for you.

    The list of things you enjoy in life

    I haven’t heard a single person say that they really enjoy checking social network feeds during their breaks; that checking their social network feeds is their dream life. Or gossiping or reading news or doing any other kind of mental masturbation.

    It doesn’t make sense to take a well-deserved break and then do activities with which you are basically wasting your life away.

    That is why you need to make a list of all the things you enjoy in life. From the big things that may take days and are more expensive (like travelling) to all the small things that are free and only take minutes (like hugging someone). When you become consciously aware of all the things you really enjoy in life, well yes, you can systematically plan to do them in your break time. It makes complete sense, so I’m not sure why more people aren’t doing it.

    In addition, planning to do things you enjoy in the break time can also be a form of rewarding yourself for successfully completing a certain task during the work time. That will additionally motivate you to do good work, which is a total win-win.

    The list of things you look forward to

    The third important concept is that you always have to look forward to something in life. Again, that can be big or small things. When you look forward to things in life, your hope is much stronger, you are dramatically happier and life becomes so precious. People who are successful and happy in life always have things to look forward to.

    Planning something to look forward to during the break is thus the winning combination. Your day gets much closer to your ideal day, you do more of the things you enjoy and you are constantly under mild positive expectation of what comes next, which makes you be more present in the moment and life as a whole becomes that more beautiful.

    It absolutely makes sense that you also find a work you enjoy doing and then your life is nothing but going from one activity you enjoy to the other. You work on a project that’s important and dear to you with people you like, but deep down you are also already looking forward to the break time where you will do something else you enjoy. And when you are at your break time, you’re already excited to go back to your work. That’s the best way that leads to a high quality of life.

    Your break list

    Let’s now put all the puzzle pieces together. Your breaks must be activities during which you either sharpen the saw or put down the saw. But no matter which type of an activity it is, your breaks must always be something you look forward to and during which you perform things you really enjoy.

    So to proactively plan your daily breaks, I suggest you make a short list of what activities you will enjoy during breaks on certain days. Like you have a to-do list, not-to-do list and many other lists. It shouldn’t take you more than 2 minutes to write that down and if you don’t want to have another to-do list, you can simply do it in your head.

    Consciously decide on the number of breaks you will take on a certain day and proactively plan which enjoyable things you’ll do during the time off – make sure you look forward to your break time from early morning.

    Practical examples

    Let’s look at a practical example.

    Here is the summary of my working plan today:

    • 3 x 2 hour flows – Completing two articles and my diploma thesis
    • 1 hour of exercise
    • 1 hour of reading a book
    • 1 hour of doing smaller tasks (email, promoting articles, doing blog updates etc.)

    During the day and while performing all these tasks, I will take 6 breaks that last from 5 minutes to 45 minutes. During these breaks, I will do several things I really enjoy:

    • Stretching and doing a few core exercises (active)
    • Reading 3 – 5 quality articles (active)
    • Preparing a healthy lunch and watching a Lynda course (main break, active)
    • Hugging and talking to my girlfriend when she comes home from work (active)
    • Eating a healthy fit cheesecake and a few blueberries, and doing nothing (passive)
    • Taking a short walk (active)

    I make sure I always proactively plan my breaks and do things I really enjoy during my time off. In the morning, I take a moment and think of all the things I’m looking forward to – during the breaks and during work. There are so many possibilities for what you can plan during breaks, life never gets boring and every day becomes a special gift to you.

    Life experiment ideas

    Smart things you can do during your breaks

    Here are all the ideas what to do during breaks instead of mental masturbation and other reactive things that the majority of people are doing:

    1. Stretch or do a few yoga poses
    2. Go for a walk or do a few exercises
    3. Walk up and down the stairs in your office a few times
    4. Take 10 deep breaths and practice breathing properly
    5. Take a quick power nap
    6. Learn something from somebody
    7. Read, read, read
    8. Do brain exercises
    9. Watch a documentary
    10. Prepare yourself a healthy meal
    11. Eat a very healthy snack, like almonds and blueberries
    12. Make a new entry in your journal
    13. Draw something or do some other type of art
    14. Learn a few new words in another language
    15. Organize or clean something
    16. Have a deep and interesting conversation with someone
    17. Meet somebody new
    18. Call somebody you haven’t talked to in ages
    19. Write down the things you are grateful for that day
    20. Plan your next trip
    21. Update your vision list
    22. Watch an inspiring video on YouTube
    23. Do an online open course
    24. Organize your computer files and folders
    25. Declutter your mail inbox
    26. Build your vision board on Pinterest
    27. Visualize your goals
    28. Meditate for 15 minutes
    29. Read inspirational quotes
    30. Listen to music
    31. Do a few eye exercises, especially if you work with a computer a lot
    Homework

    Your plan to taking breaks throughout the day in the smart way

    Never ever open a social network again during your breaks, start gossiping or read news. Rather plan your breaks proactively. Now list down all the smart ways you can take breaks.

  • How to upgrade your mindset – the advanced tools and hacks

    There are nine crucial updates that lead to a superhuman mindset and the most superior way of thinking: (1) The growth mindset, (2) the abundance mindset, (3) positive thinking, (4) solution-oriented mindset, (5) proactive thinking, (6) optimal thinking, (7) agile thinking, (8) regret minimization mindset and (9) the ability to shut down your mind when necessary. The important question we will answer in this blog post is: how to press the update button and apply all these updates?

    Unfortunately, it’s not as simple as it is with computer updates, where you just click a button, wait a few moments and updates are ready for use. There are a few big differences between updating your computer and updating your brain that you must know. Let’s look at those differences and what’s the best procedure (or process) to upgrade your mindset to the superhuman version.

    Before we start, you should know that this is the second part of the article Update your mindset to the superhuman version. Because it’s extremely long, it’s broken up into two parts. You can also download both parts together as a free eBook with many templates and other free files.

    • Part 1: The core ways to update your mindset that will make your thinking superhuman
    • Part 2: How to update your mindset – cognitive and behavioral conditioning and other mind hacks (this one you are reading now)
    • The eBook version if you don’t have the time to read the article now (Part 1 + Part 2)
    • Templates, exercise files and other files that come with the article (yes, this article comes with seven different exercise files and templates)

    Upgrading your mindset is a process

    Updating or upgrading your mindset is a carefully orchestrated process, not a one-time event like pressing a button. To update your mindset, it takes time and a lot of hard work. You have to do what 90% of people aren’t willing to do – sit down, take a piece of paper, write down your thoughts and slowly reprogram your mind with an analytical approach. The carefully orchestrated part of the process means that you have a superior strategy in place and a system for how to do it.

    It’s impossible to update your mindset if you aren’t prepared to consistently write down your thoughts, analyze them and talk back to them with a more rational response. The only way to update your mindset is to talk back to yourself.

    Every process you follow goes through certain process stages, and upgrading your mindset is no different in this regard. You have respect the stages and avoid skipping them. When you follow a carefully orchestrated process, you first set strong foundations on which you can build your brain’s supercomputer.

    Here are the mind upgrade process stages:

    Process phases

    First you need empathy to understand what is going on with you

    First, we have the empathy phase, where the name already implies that empathy towards yourself is the most important issue. You must become more aware of your feelings, thoughts, reactions to stimuli from your environment, and how everything is interconnected.

    You also get the main idea about what kind of dominating thoughts go through your mind and what kind of updates you need the most. You always start updating your mind with gentle energies towards yourself, and understanding what’s going on in your head and why. You must first know where you are, so you can then take the first step towards where you want to be.

    When new thoughts slowly become sticky

    The second phase is the so-called stickiness phase. In this phase, you slowly start updating your mediocre thoughts with more superb thoughts and kind of thinking. Your focus is on the stickiness of new, better thoughts. In this phase, you fail many times and so you need a lot of discipline and persistence.

    It’s a hard and tough process of ditching the old ways of thinking, taking over new kinds of mindsets, and consequently also making the first different decisions with the new kind of thinking. The biggest mistake you can make in this phase is to give up. You have to be persistent enough that your new thoughts slowly begin to “stick” with you.

    What happens is that sooner or later, you don’t only see changes in the way you think, but also in the way you act and make decisions. You can see the first positive results of the mind updates.

    Positivity virus

    The next phase is called virality, which means that your new superb thoughts become viral and eat up all the rest of mediocre thinking. There’s a tipping point in the process, when you don’t have to struggle anymore with updating every single thought, but things become quite natural to you.

    The new thinking habit is finally formed and slowly you manage to completely override the previous way of thinking and acting. When you reach this stage, there is no way of going back anymore and you become so aware of different mindsets that you can already see the mediocre thinking in other people as well as help them with updates, if you want.

    Scaling new thinking all the way to the last thought

    The last phase is “reaping the rewards phase” and the scaling phase. You clearly see all the rewards you are getting from your mindset updates and thus you scale this kind of thinking in every life area to the last possible thought. Now you’ve become a human with a superhuman mindset.

    When we talk about the process, you need to have realistic expectations about how long the process takes. At least a few years are usually needed to implement all the updates. But you have enough time. If you really want it badly enough, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.

    Phase Realistic timeframe for completion
    Empathy phase 2 – 4 months
    Stickiness phase 4 – 12 months
    Virality phase 2 – 4 months
    Scaling phase 4 – 12 months
    Total for complete upgrade 1 – 3 years

    The key is to really want it badly enough. The best thing ever is to be born and raised with that kind of a superhuman mindset. The next best thing is to start working on it today.

    Toolbox for upgrading your mindset

    Understanding the process is important, but it’s not enough, of course. We still don’t know how to do the updates. You need a toolbox, and we’re going to open it in just a moment. But before that, let’s just overview once more what the process of upgrading your mindset is. You follow the process by sitting down several times every day, taking a piece of paper and using an analytical approach to change the way you think and interpret the world and what’s happening to you.

    Let me emphasize that one more time – you have to stop several times a day, take a piece of paper and do different mind exercises. That isn’t an easy thing to do. It takes an enormous amount of time, effort and dedication. So again, you must want it badly enough. Nothing great was done overnight, neither Rome was built nor can your superhuman mind be. When you do sit down and decide to do mind exercises, you have to choose the right tool from your toolbox.

    There are several tools to use that can help you do the upgrades. You have to enter the search mode, test all the different tools and find out what works best for you. You can, of course, combine several different tools to accelerate progress. Your job is simply to play and measure progress.

    How to upgrade your mindset?

    The toolbox for upgrading your mindset consists of the following tools:

    • Paying more attention to your emotions and thoughts
      • Mental biofeedback
      • Observing your body language
      • Happiness index
      • Observing your environment
    • Emotional accounting
    • Cognitive reframing
      • Cognitive reframing exercise
      • Holding your frame
    • Other cognitive exercises to accelerate your mindset updates
      • Asking yourself the right questions and digging deep
        • 5 whys
      • Self-reflective journaling
      • Creative Visualization
      • Positive affirmations
      • Transformational vocabulary
        • Optimism ratio
      • Meditation
      • Breathing exercises
      • Changing your body language
    • Behavioral conditioning and accounting
      • Behavioral conditioning (operant or instrumental conditioning)
      • Behavioral accounting
    • The final updates – increasing your competence level

    There are two general approaches – cognitive and behavioral. The cognitive approach means that you first analyze your emotions and thoughts, then reframe them in a more positive way. More positive thoughts lead to a better mindset and more positive actions, and more positive actions lead to a more positive life and results.

    The second approach is the behavioral one. This approach means that you change your behavior, and by changing your behavior you change your actions and consequently your mindset also follows by becoming more positive and of a higher quality. The best way is, of course, to use both approaches.

    Paying more attention to your emotions

    It’s extremely hard to constantly identify the quality of your thinking and your thoughts one by one, because there are just too many negative thoughts and cognitive distortions in the beginning and new ones are constantly appearing. Nevertheless, you can easily start to examine your way of thinking when mediocre, negative or any other toxic thoughts concentrate.

    How do you know that there is a concentration of bad thoughts that lead to a poor mindset? Your feelings.

    Your (negative) emotions are nothing but a consequence of the way you look at things – at yourself, the situations you are in, what is happening to you, other people etc., and by your internal dialogue about all these things (focusing on positives or negatives). If your understanding and the way you look at things is accurate, your emotions will be normal. If your perception is twisted and you look at things with the wrong mindset, your emotional response will be abnormal – negative.

    Thus the first step is to sit down and closely examine your thoughts when you have severe negative feelings. Every bad feeling you have is the result of a poor mindset and all self-defeating emotions are caused by an irrational internal dialogue. It may sound unbelievable, since we are dealing with the mind updates (brain) and not feelings (heart), but your emotions are where you start updating your mindset.

    If you try to analyze and overwrite every single negative thought in the beginning, you would simply go crazy. But what you can do is to start by only counting your negative thoughts to be more aware of them and analyze what goes on in your head when severe negative thoughts concentrate.

    Homework

    Every time you are upset, depressed, angry or you are experiencing any other kind of severe negative emotions, sit down take a piece of paper and write down all you thoughts. All of them, without any censorship.

    Mental biofeedback – Count the number of negative thoughts

    AgileLeanLife Mental BiofeedbackThe easiest exercise to start with is the so-called mental biofeedback from cognitive therapy. The idea of the exercise is to start counting your toxic thoughts – all the thoughts that aren’t aligned with the superior mindset we’ve talked about. Just counting, nothing else. This way, you become more aware of your toxic thoughts and you’ll be even more surprised at how many of them you have and how poor your thinking and mindset probably are.

    You simply buy a counter to click or draw a line in a notebook every time you catch yourself with a thought that isn’t part of the superhuman mindset. After counting your negative thoughts for a few days, you can slowly take a step further.

    • Step 1: Only count toxic thoughts for a few days or even weeks
    • Step 2: Count toxic thoughts but also write them down
    • Step 3: Count them, write them down and categorize them (what kind of toxicity it is)

    Soon you will learn to identify any kind of toxic thinking and poor mentality, and categorize thoughts very quickly. If you follow this (empathy) process for a few weeks, you will learn to identify and categorize thoughts in the blink of an eye. And when you understand something, you can start changing it.

    Here is once again a summary of all the different toxic thoughts and categories of poor mindsets that need to be upgraded to a more superior version:

    Toxic mindset Superior mindset
    Fixed mindset Growth mindset
    Scarcity mindset

    • Emotional scarcity
    • Intellectual scarcity (lack of ideas)
    • Intimate scarcity
    • Social scarcity
    • Opportunity/competence scarcity
    • Material scarcity
    Abundance mindset
    Negative thinking

    • All-or-nothing thinking
    • Overgeneralization
    • Mental filtering
    • Discounting the positive
    • Jumping to conclusions
    • Magnification and minimization
    • Emotional reasoning
    • Should statements
    • Labeling
    • Personalization and blame
    Positive thinking
    Problem-oriented

    • Blaming others
    • Can’t attitude
    Solution-oriented
    Inactive & Reactive thinking Proactive thinking & Superproactivity
    Suboptimal thinking Optimal thinking

    • The best
    • The greatest
    • The highest
    • The smartest
    • The most
    • Maximal
    • Optimal
    Egotistical thinking Agile thinking
    Indecisiveness Regret Minimization Framework
    Overthinking & analysis-paralysis Shutting down your mind
    Making bad decisions, big and small Making good decisions, big and small

    Observe your body language

    AgileLeanLife Observe Body LanguageYour inner state, emotions and thoughts are greatly expressed through your body posture. Your body language is a big sign of how good your mindset is. A positive emotional and mental state shows in a smile on your face, straight posture, and slow but confident movements. You take up space and move towards your goals.

    A negative emotional state together with toxic thoughts and a toxic mindset shows in poor posture, frowning, eyes directed to the floor, anxious movements, and so on. When you find yourself using poor body language, that’s an excellent opportunity to sit down and analyze what’s happening in your head. Poor body language must become a trigger for doing all different kinds of exercises.

    • When you catch yourself frowning, stop and start writing down your thoughts
    • When you catch yourself with a sad face, stop and start writing down your thoughts
    • When you catch yourself with crossed arms or not looking people in the eyes, stop and start writing down your thoughts, it doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of the street

    We’ll talk about that later, but an additional exercise that can help you update your mindset is the so-called reverse programming. That means changing your body language will help you do and maintain new updates. Positive body language will lead to more positive thoughts.

    So when you’re doing updates (following the process with the toolkit), help yourself by paying attention to your body language and change it as you are changing your way of thinking – in a positive manner.

    The happiness index

    The idea of the happiness index is pretty simple. You have an uncomplicated chart with different indicators showing how happy you are. Every day, when you wake up, go to sleep or while working, you put an indicator on the chart, marking how you’re feeling.

    Happiness Index
    Happiness Index, Source: Agile trail

    The main advantage/point of the happiness chart is to never forget about yourself or lose awareness of how you’re really feeling, even if you’re very busy. You put yourself first. When an indicator goes below 8, you start closely observing your thoughts and writing them down.

    Observe your environment

    AgileLeanLife Observe Your EnvironemntFrom my observations, I’ve seen again and again that the environment I operate in (especially when it comes to the closest relationships) reflects my inner state. The main reason for that is that emotions are contagious and we tend to connect with people who have the same energy vibrations as we do. What exactly do I mean by this?

    You will always look for an environment that’s familiar to you. If you were raised in a toxic environment, you will try to find such an environment in your adult life. And because you had toxic relationship in your toxic youth environment, you will later look for toxic relationships, especially the key relationships in your life.

    Subconsciously, you always look for people and situations that are deeply familiar to you, because you don’t have any other experience. Without any other experience, you don’t have the reference points to look for something else, something more positive.

    How people are acting around you usually resonates with your current inner state, even if you’re probably not even aware of it. If you are emotionally stable and strong, you have a positive effect on your environment and make it more stable and strong. A toxic environment will try to make you into a more toxic person as well. It becomes a power struggle of who is stronger. And if you aren’t strong enough, a toxic environment only makes you more toxic.

    For example, If I find that my girlfriend is irritated about something, there are two ways of how I can respond. I can calm her down just by being emotionally strong. But if I’m not in such a state, I also get irritated or start talking too much or get anxious or in some other way take over her negative emotions (emotions are contagious, as mentioned). Interestingly, if I get easily irritated, I usually also find out with consistent analysis that my inner state was already irritated before I started spending time with her, I just didn’t notice it. In other words, I wasn’t in emotionally stable state.

    If people around you are stressed, hectic, angry, are experiencing any other similar toxic and negative emotions and thoughts or are giving you a headache, take a few minutes off and analyze your inner state. Start the analysis with the premise that the outside environment only mirrors the inside environment and when you sense that your environment is imbued with negative vibes, try to figure out if you’re also in a negative emotional state and why.

    If being in a momentarily toxic environment makes your inner state toxic, ask yourself why you so easily overtake the toxic state of your environment. That means your thoughts and mindset were easily corrupted by others. In such a case, you need to be more self-centered, you need to make the superhuman mindset stronger. Nevertheless, observing your environment in relation to yourself is a great way to become more aware of your thoughts and your inner emotional states.

    Here’s another important fact when we talk about your environment. A healthy person in a toxic environment will always become a toxic person, sooner or later. In the long term, you can never be strong enough to not overtake at least some vibes from your environment. Relationships and the environment you operate in have a great influence on your mindset, behavior and potential.

    That’s why you can often hear advice like “you become the average of the five people you spend the most time with” or “never work for a boss you don’t respect and who is a bozo” and “make sure you work in a dream team”.

    And as we’ve talked about in the superproactivity update, you are the one choosing your environment and you are the one choosing your relationships. If you are in an extremely toxic environment and relationships, why don’t you start making better choices?

    Now you probably know the answer. You have to update your mindset to change the environment you operate in. That means your current environment also mirrors the quality of your thinking. So analyze your environment and your choices on where you work, who you spend time with etc. and you will better understand your mindset and what needs to be upgraded. I know, it’s impressive how much you can learn from your environment.

    “The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.” ― Horace Walpole

    Emotional accounting

    AgileLeanLife Emotional AccountingNow you know how to identify your toxic thoughts – (1) analyzing severe negative emotional states, (2) doing mental feedback, (3) observing body language, (4) having happiness index and (5) analyzing your environment. The more you practice, the easier it will be to recognize them. After a few months, it will become natural for you to identify and categorize different kind of toxic thoughts on the fly. The next important question in the process is what to do with all these toxic thoughts.

    The answer lies in the so-called emotional accounting (from the cognitive therapy the book Feeling Good). To more easily explain how to do emotional accounting, we will call all toxic thoughts that appear in your mind your inner critic. All different types of negative and other toxic thoughts come from your “inner critic”, the part of your mind that’s dark, negative, evil and has crazy monkeys as his servants.

    Every toxic thought that appears in your head comes from somewhere. And it comes from this inner critic. It’s like having a negative, unloving, rigorous grumbler in your head, blocking you from being happy, proud, powerful and going forward.

    Calling this negative part of your mindset an inner critic in perfect, because it always finds a way to criticize you, others, the situations happening to you, or it finds a reason why you should feel sorry for yourself, not act and focus on how miserable your life really is – even if it’s not.

    Emotional accounting simply means talking back to your inner critic in a very systematic, structured and analytical way.

    Emotional accounting is a three-step process:

    1. After training yourself to recognize and write down toxic thoughts as they go through your mind with different exercises we’ve mentioned,
    2. in the next step you learn why the thoughts are distorted (you categorize them and analyze how they make you feel), and then you
    3. practice talking back to them with the goal of developing a more realistic self-evaluation system or an evaluation of the situation you are in.

    Talking back to your inner critic is key. To perform emotional accounting, all you need a simple table (just download the template). The table has six columns. Here they are:

    1. Toxic thought going through your head (automatic thought, self-criticism)
    2. Type of negative feeling it’s causing and the intensity of it (emotions)
    3. Categorization of the toxic thought
    4. Performing a rational response to the toxic thought (self-defense)
    5. New intensity of the negative feeling (outcome)
    6. Additional ideas for thinking and acting better

    You simply go column by column. When categorizing thoughts, you can only focus on cognitive distortions or all the different mentioned categories of negative thoughts. But keep in mind that you can’t categorize every single thought in the same way. Stay flexible and improve the system so it works in your favor.

    By far the most important is the column where you perform a rational response to the toxic thought. That’s the part of emotional accounting you need to pay the most attention to.

    Let’s look at an example of the emotional accounting.

    1. I’m making so many grammar mistakes, I am really poor writer
    2. Anger, frustration (80%)
    3. Overgeneralization, self-labeling, fixed mindset, reactive thinking, problem-oriented
    4. Even if I still make quite a lot of grammar mistakes, I have great ideas for articles, my style is improving and so is my grammar, and I get a lot of positive feedback on my articles
    5. Anger, frustration (20%), feeling proud of myself (60%)
    6. The best way to improve my grammar is to have a great proofreader, read as much as possible, and do a few grammar exercises.

    Cognitive reframing and holding your frame

    AgileLeanLife Cognitive ReframingThe greatest power you always have in life is changing the angle of how you look at things. In the end, the ultimate control you have is the control over your judgments and your mental state or, in other words, how you interpret the things that happen to you.

    Cognitive reframing (or cognitive restructuring) is a way of viewing and experiencing events, ideas, concepts and emotions in more positive alternatives. A frame is the filter through which you perceive reality, and you can always find a new better frame. It’s an exercise similar to emotional accounting, only with this tool you don’t only describe reality more accurately, you also find a new, more positive context to what is happening to you.

    Cognitive reframing is also a type of exercise you should do in a simple table, with three columns, called ABC to remember it more easily (download the template):

    • Antecedent: An event that has happened to you
    • Belief: An underlying belief and how you see the event
      • Reframing: Finding a better mental filter and context
    • Consequence: How you feel about the event (a specific emotion(s) on a scale from 0 – 100%)
    • Additional ideas for thinking and acting better

    The point of cognitive reframing is to find an angle (filter) that can be supported by constructive underlying beliefs, that don’t cause negative feelings and enable you to keep all the necessary personal power in your own hands. Now, the most important thing is that your reframing is still based on truth. You absolutely shouldn’t start lying to yourself or suppress feelings or use the tool in any other negative way. Remember the fake feeling of progress? Make sure you don’t go in the wrong direction.

    Here’s an example:

    • I just lost my job.
    • I’m worthless and nobody will employ me.
    • Anger (90%), depression (80%).

    And now the same situation by doing cognitive reframing:

    • I just lost my job.
    • My boss was a bozo, I wasn’t learning anything new anymore, so it’s time to find a better job (that must be the truth backed with hard-data evidence, not solely your opinion).
    • Anger (20%), Depression (30%), Anticipation (70%)
    • The best way to find a new better job for me as quickly as possible is to write down the names of 10 managers I know, update my resume, prepare 100 ideas for each company and send the documents to managers.

    With cognitive reframing, you must turn a problem into an opportunity, weakness into strength (by matching or converting), hurtful actions of others into understanding why they’re doing that instead of being a victim or engaging yourself in fights, and so on. But again, the idea is to turn a problem into an opportunity and ACT, you mustn’t only make feel yourself better.

    When you work with frames a lot, you soon realize that things are repeating themselves – how you see them and interpret them. These are called schemas (filters), and they’re simple mental structures we use to organize how we see the world around us – from what we notice to how we interpret things and, in the end, act. We have schemas practically for everything. They also help us with predicting and forecasting. By doing a lot of positive cognitive reframing, you will slowly update your schemas and consequently your overall quality of thinking in all the ways we’ve talked about.

    Holding your frame

    AgileLeanLife Holding Your FrameWhen you do cognitive reframing you will soon see that your mind constantly strives to slip back into your previous toxic thinking. “Mind monkeys” are like little kids constantly testing the limits and trying to wander off and bite you in the ass along the way. There is always an internal battle when you start updating your mind and the bigger newbie you are at these things, the more you have to fight strong and not give up.

    That’s why you need another concept called holding your frame. When you do cognitive reframing and see the reality in a more positive way, hold to it strongly. Don’t let it go for even a second. Don’t slack off; hold your frame no matter what. No retreat, no surrender.

    If you don’t stubbornly hold to your new positive frame, you will lose it and you will go back to your previous thinking. So every time your mind tries to wander back to hurt you, consistently hold your new positive thought in your head. You have to be stronger than the “mind monkeys” and sooner or later your mind will give up; and you will be reborn with a completely new mindset and a much happier life.

    Other cognitive exercises to accelerate your mindset updates

    There are several other exercises that can help you do your mindset updates or speed up the update process. But please note that these exercises are only additional help. Without emotional accounting and behavioral conditioning, it’s quite hard to achieve the same results. Nevertheless, if you are extremely motivated, adding these exercises may significantly benefit you.

    Again, you have to test and see for yourself what works best for you. Since this article is already very long, we will only scratch the surface of different principles and exercises, but you can find additional resources and guidance on this blog or in many other books and blogs.

    Asking yourself the right questions and digging deep

    AgileLeanLife Asking The Right QuestionsAs we saw in the “optimal thinking” update section, asking yourself the right questions can encourage completely new ways of thinking. By asking yourself the right questions, you can direct your mind into a completely new direction.

    So if you do the optimal thinking update properly, the second you catch yourself having toxic thoughts, mindset or thinking, you should ask yourself a question that will lead your mind into finding creative solutions and acting. Download the spreadsheet below to find 50+ questions that will encourage the right kind of thinking.

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    The 5 Whys method

    AgileLeanLife The Five Whys MethodAnother exercise you can do the simple question “why” enough times. 5 Whys is a simple technique frequently used in business to identify the cause of a problem and not only deal with the consequences.

    If you want to get rid of the consequences for good, you have to get to the root of the matter. You can identify the real cause by asking yourself “why” several times in a row. It’s a way of identifying your deeper volitions and why you behave in a certain way.

    Here’s an example.

    • I like geeky superhero movies. Why?
    • Because good always wins despite an inoperative formal protective and legal system. Why?
    • Because there is “someone” more competent to protect the victim from the bad. Why?
    • Because no one deserves to be a victim and be bullied by others. Why?
    • Because I know how awful it feels. Why?
    • Because I experienced domestic violence as a child.

    With this kind of an analytical exercise, you can dig deep to better understand where your thoughts really appear from and what kind of underlying convictions support them. Start by asking yourself “Why do I think like that about this situation?” and then continue asking yourself why? so many times until you uncover the root of the problem.

    You can use the same principle to identify many root causes – why you think as you do, why you feel or act as you do, why you behave a certain way with certain people, and so on. You will often find that the root cause of your thinking is something completely different from what you initially thought. Very often you will be surprised at what your real emotional issue is. You just have to be willing to accept the truth.

    Self-reflective journaling

    AgileLeanLife Self Reflective JournalingOne really awesome way to be more in touch with yourself and identify the nature of your thoughts faster is to keep a journal. A self-reflective journal is not about your day and what happened, but about your thoughts, your perspective, your feelings, your words, your actions and about the feedback from your environment.

    Keeping track of your thoughts and actions can greatly help you with identifying why you acted like you did, what the result of your behavior was and what were the accompanying feelings. Keeping a self-reflective journal is about becoming aware of who you are, your true desires, identifying your cognitive distortions and then reframing them with emotional accounting, and so on.

    Make writing the self-reflective journal a part of your morning or evening habits. And when you’re writing the journal, make sure you’re asking yourself the toughest questions possible.

    Self-reflection is about asking yourself thought-provoking questions so that you can develop a deeper level of understanding yourself.

    Creative Visualization

    AgileLeanLife Creative VisualizationThe concept of visualization is pretty simple. You use the power of your imagination to create visions of what you want in life and how you will make it happen. You play a movie (or imagine pictures) in your head of what and how you want something to happen. It can be a goal you want to achieve, a performance you want to execute, behavioral changes you want to make, and so on.

    You can, for example, visualize your life with your new mindset and that will encourage your new inner state to become a permanent part of you quicker – you can visualize yourself being positive, determined, having a better mindset and consequently making the right decisions. Visualization can also help you with behavioral conditioning, where you visualize your new behavior as part of your new mindset.

    Visualization is a great tool with which you can change your internal mental processes, but you must also reinforce it by acting in a new direction. Visualization is definitely a tool that can help you with much more than just updating your mindset. It can help you make an identity shift and boost your self-confidence by clearly imagining the outcome you want and how you will perform to achieve it.

    Last but not least, visualization can help you adjust your inner state to a new vibrational level and attract the right people and opportunities into your life. When you expect good, good things do happen to you. That is part of a superior mindset.

    Positive affirmations

    AgileLeanLife Positive AffirmationsAffirmation is a form of positive self-talk. The point of affirmations is to help you think more positively or focus on positive things as well as to purify your thoughts. The idea is pretty simple: you write down different positive statements about yourself and repeat them over and over again. With repetition, they become a part of your new mindset and new thinking. You can also find many examples online.

    Affirmations are quite criticized and used as a way to mock the “personal development” community – you know, making fun of someone for looking at themselves in a mirror and repeating how awesome they are. Affirmations are definitely no magical cure, like any other tool isn’t, but you can try them and if they work for you, why not use them.

    If you don’t know where to begin, I suggest you buy Louis Hay’s book called Heal your body, find your body’s weaknesses and injuries that you suffer from, and see the probable psychological cause and affirmations that can help you with that. In my case, the connection was quite accurate. But if you don’t believe in that kind of stuff, just skip it. The idea is to try as many tools as possible and then use what works best for you.

    Transformational vocabulary

    AgileLeanLife Transformational VocabularyOne of the huge areas of neuro-linguistic programming is proper use of your vocabulary. Several studies have shown that successful people have a larger and different vocabulary from average. By improving your vocabulary, you can express yourself more precisely, you sound smarter, you can write or dictate more quickly and descriptively, you understand things better and enjoy many other intellectual benefits.

    Thus improving your vocabulary can greatly improve the speed of your mind updates. And using the right kind of words definitely reflects a superior mindset; and not only that, using the right words has a big influence on you and how you perceive your life.

    Here’s an example. Let’s say that you just came from a holiday trip and you really enjoyed it. You can describe the holiday to yourself or to others in various ways, but here are two extremes: “The holiday trip was great.” and “The holiday trip was excellent, awesome and outstanding. I really enjoyed it”.

    Reading the second sentence wants me to pack right now and go on holiday. This is how you empower yourself and see your life in the right way. Similarly, you can describe negative situations in a more natural way. Instead of saying “The date was really a disaster, we didn’t find a connection and I think that s/he finds me weird”, you can just say “The result of the date wasn’t that interesting”.

    Using the right words (the so-called power words) in general talk is an important part of having a superior mindset. Frequently using power words can greatly help you hold the right mental frame as well as avoid cognitive distortions or thinking in a suboptimal way. To simplify, if you want to be successful, you have to learn the language of successful people and then put it to use.

    One great way to update your vocabulary in a positive way is that you simply decide to eliminate certain words and phrases from your vocabulary. These may be phrases like: I don’t know, I’ll try, I can’t, I don’t have money, I have problems, I have to (-> I want to, I get to), but (-> and) and many others. If you consciously stop using these kinds of words, your mindset will absolutely be much clearer and much more positive.

    The present use of language can be a fairly accurate predictor of future success.

    You can also add more power words into your everyday vocabulary use. Examples are words like absolutely, fantastic, certainly, let’s do it, wonderful etc. It’s no secret that successful people use more powerful and optimistic words than average people. And pessimistic and depressed people use a lot of pessimistic, negative and weak words. So change your words and your mindset will change.

    Choose your words very carefully!

    Optimism ratio

    AgileLeanLife Optimism RatioI know it’s kind of hard to analyze how good your vocabulary is. Thus, there is a really good exercise you can do to assess the quality of the words you’re using and how advanced your mindset is. In the first step you need to do the following:

    • Take the last three articles you’ve read (news, blog post, whatever).
    • Open your email client and copy-paste the last five emails you’ve written to a word processor.
    • Write down and describe the last two things you remember that you were thinking about, using the same words that were going through your head.

    Put all the texts in the same place and print them. You should have ten texts altogether (three articles, five emails, two descriptions).

    Now take a red and green marker. In all ten texts, search for positive and negative words. Negative words are words like fear, confused, don’t know, angry, death, concerned, risk, violent, missed, payback, buried, bombard (I found these by opening an online news site). Positive words are words like takes lead, comeback, succeed, adds, new, spark, signed a deal, stunning, beautiful etc. (words from the same online site). Mark all the positive words with the green marker and all the negative words with a red marker.

    You have to take context into consideration and, of course, it’s completely your individual estimation if a word is a positive, a negative or a neutral one. However, this is not an exercise that has to be done with mathematical precision, the point is to get a general idea of the vocabulary you use and what kind of information you feed your mind with (based on your infostructure).

    Now count the number of positive words and negative words. Then calculate the ratio between positive and negative words with the following formula: Optimism ratio = Positive words / Negative words. If, for example, there are 5 positive words in the text and 15 negative ones, the ratio is 5 / 15 = 0.33.

    • If the ratio is higher than 1, the language is optimistic.
    • If the ratio is lower than 1, than the language you use and read is obviously too pessimistic and you must work on improving the language you use and the quality of the content you consume.

    If you need more input to do the analysis, take more texts. Articles you’ve written, what you post on social networks, the TV shows you watch etc. You can very quickly grasp what you’re feeding your mind with. And you know the rule: garbage in, garbage out.

    Meditation

    AgileLeanLife MeditationThe most traditional and popular way to train and control your mind is meditation. It’s scientifically proven that meditation helps you a lot with relaxation and taming your mind. Actually, your brain physically changes with regular meditation and increases your capacity for creativity, focus and managing anxiety.

    I know so many people who claim that meditation changed their lives, and how they learned to think better and more purely by regularly meditating. You can find many different forms and types of meditation, but for a busy lifestyle, Transcendental Meditation, which you practice for 20 minutes twice a day, is quite popular and probably the best fit. The Headspace app is also a great start.

    Breathing exercises

    AgileLeanLife Breathing ExercisesMuch like there is a strong connection between your thought and body language, so there is a strong connection between your thoughts, feelings, and breathing. If you are calm, focused and in a mindful state, your breathing will be deep, slow, gentle and come out of the belly.

    On the other hand, if you are experiencing negative emotions, your breathing will be shallow, fast and come from the upper part of your body. Like you see in the movies when a crisis occurs, people who panic are always instructed to take deep breaths first.

    Calm belly breathing = calm thoughts = the right kind of mindset.

    It may sound strange, but many people don’t know how to breathe the right way, not only when a crisis occurs but in general. Make sure you aren’t one of them, because that causes a much more stressful life, with lots of negative thoughts and anxiety. Shallow breathing absolutely hinders the right kind of thinking. Online, you can find many resources on why proper breathing is important, but you can start with two simple exercises explained below and then continue with more advanced techniques.

    Body language

    AgileLeanLife Change Body LanguageThere is a great connection between your posture, general body language, thoughts and emotions. I know this very well, because my body posture was catastrophically bad for years and I’m still working hard on it. And the better posture I have, the purer my thoughts are.

    Body language always clearly shows what’s happening inside a person. By changing your thoughts and emotions, your body language changes but the opposite is also true. By positively changing your body language, you can positively influence the way you think and the way you feel. So when you find yourself in a defensive or poor body posture, change it, and you will influence your thoughts more easily.

    Do the following and you will positively influence your thoughts by changing your body language:

    • Stretch and improve your body posture (straight, shoulders back and down, head up)
    • Don’t be afraid to stand tall and take up space
    • Stop frowning and put a smile on your face
    • Keep your arms relaxed at your side, don’t cross them in front of your chest or put hands in your pockets
    • Make eye contact with whoever you are talking to
    • Do a power pose if necessary (like Superman or Wonder Woman)

    Behavioral conditioning

    AgileLeanLife Behavioral ConditioningEverything we talked about so far falls under the category of thought conditioning (except breathing exercises and body language, which are somewhere in between). The second type of approach towards a better mindset comes from a completely different angle, we could even say the opposite angle. It’s called behavioral conditioning.

    If the thought conditioning approach first takes into account your thoughts with the premise that improving your thoughts should lead to a better outcome, behavioral conditioning suggest you tackle your actions directly, not minding your thoughts at all. By changing your behavior, your thoughts will be forced to change themselves or even if not, the only thing that matters is keeping the right behavior, new habits.

    Motivation always follows after you perform an action for a certain period of time.

    Here’s an example. Let’s say that you want to save more money.

    Thought conditioning would mean that you start with your mindset. You first become aware that even if you are currently not a saver, you can become one by improving yourself. Then you tackle your beliefs on why it’s so hard for you to save money and reframe the negative thoughts that come from your beliefs. You may enhance the process by visualizing how you put money into your bank account, and so on. By following a process and changing your thoughts, saving money should slowly come naturally to you. Actions should follow your thoughts sooner or later.

    Behavioral conditioning, on the other hand, would simply mean that you don’t even bother with your mindset at all at first. You simply automate paying 10% of your paycheck to yourself first, meaning that 10% of your salary is automatically transferred to your savings account and you don’t touch your savings at all. You force yourself to save money, like an alarm clock forces you to wake up. By doing a new behavior for a longer period of time, you change your habits, your habits change how you see yourself and consequently your beliefs as well, and all that leads to your mindset being updated in the end.

    The main idea of behavioral conditioning is that you ask yourself what kind of an outcome (goal) you want and what kind of actions lead to achieving that goal. After you define the actions, you simply apply that to your life. You force a new behavior in your life all the way until it becomes a new habit. You ask yourself three very important questions:

    • What should I start doing?
    • What should I stop doing?
    • What should I continue doing?

    Obviously, forcing yourself into a new behavior is nothing but developing a new habit. The general opinion is that you should practice a new behavior for around 30 days until it becomes a part of you and you start doing it subconsciously. The trick is that by practicing a new habit long enough, your mindset also changes.

    Habit 3R
    Source: The Power of Habit. James Clear

    There are many ways of encouraging a new behavior (habits manipulation), and here are the best suggestions:

    1. Every time you want to perform an undesired behavior, you perform a new desired behavior.
    2. You eliminate a reminder (cue) that triggers the desire to perform a bad habit.
    3. You set up new cues to perform a new desired behavior.
    4. You increase transaction costs for undesired behavior.
    5. You introduce rewards and punishments for a certain behavior.
    6. You set strict limits with carefully defined minimums and maximums.
    7. You leverage incompatible behaviors. You use competing commitments to your advantage (we will talk about competing commitments in the next chapter).
    8. You combine different methods.

    And examples for all the ways mentioned above:

    1. Instead of turning on the TV when you pick up the remote control, you decide to go read a book.
    2. You simply get rid of the TV from your home and forget that it even exists.
    3. You set up an alarm clock every few hours to remind you to take a break and stretch.
    4. You delete time-wasting applications from your mobile phone. You have to reinstall them if you want to use them (high transaction cost).
    5. You reward yourself with a fancy massage for every 10 gym visits you do, and for every gym visit you miss you donate 5 bucks.
    6. You set up a web nanny and limit Facebook usage to maximum 1 hour a day.
    7. You wouldn’t want to drive your boss around in a messy car? If you want to clean your car more often, make sure you drive on the next business trip.

    Behavioral accounting

    AgileLeanLife Behavioral AccountingBehavioral accounting is very similar to emotional accounting, the main difference is that you don’t approach analysis from the thoughts-emotions perspective, but from a behavior-beliefs one. In the same way, you sketch a table with a few columns and analyze what drives certain behavior. The main idea comes from the book Immunity to Change (the name of the method isn’t the same as in the book) written by Robert Kegan.

    Here are the columns in your table for behavioral accounting (download the template):

    1. Describe the goal you have in your life, with a very detailed outcome you want
    2. List the actions you do that lead you towards your goal (if any)
    3. List all the actions you do to sabotage yourself and that goal (every inaction or action can only lead you a step closer or a step further from your goal)
    4. Identify any competing commitments and fears that lead to sabotage
    5. Identify internal conflicts and underlying toxic assumptions, false beliefs and convictions that lead to such self-sabotaging behavior

    Competing commitments mean that you have a goal, but there is another commitment that is more important to you and prevents you from achieving the goal. These competing commitments are usually strong emotional commitments to the kind of a personality you want to be.

    For example, you want to be seen as a fair person or as a smart or funny person, you don’t want to be greedy, you’re afraid of being rejected, you’re afraid of missing out, etc. There is something that prevents you from going after your goal big time.

    The key to behavioral accounting is to identify all the actions that lead you away from your goal. In the next step, you try to carefully analyze why you’re doing that and what are the underlying toxic beliefs that drive you to make bad decisions and behave in a toxic way.

    What matters at the end of the day is what you do, not what you say, so analyzing your actions can tell you a lot about your mindset and help you discover competing commitments that are often only toxic parts of your inner critic.

    Let’s look at an example:

    1. My goal is to become a better writer.
    2. I write and read a lot and I have an excellent proofreader that gives me feedback on how to improve.
    3. I just write sentences as they come. As I write, I don’t think hard enough about whether there is a better way to express something. I pay more attention to quantity than quality.
    4. I am committed to writing as quickly as possible.
    5. If I’m not fast, I’m not productive, smart and successful. If I can’t write a sentence correctly the first time, I’m not good enough.

    I encourage you to test which one – thought conditioning or behavioral conditioning – works better for you, or maybe with which one you can more easily start dealing with your mindset and updates. Since we are talking about updating your mindset in general, which is a cognitive function, many more words in this article are dedicated to thought conditioning. Nevertheless, you can find many resources about behavioral conditioning online and in books.

    What may work best for you, as it does for me, is combining both approaches. Updating your mindset is a lifelong process and you face many different situations in life that require a different kind of approach and a different kind of update and how you get to it. Knowing all the tools in the mind toolbox is thus very important. But before we end, we have one more very important kind of updates to cover.

    “Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” ― Steve Maraboli

    The final updates – increasing your competence level

    AgileLeanLife Increasing Competence LevelUpdating your mindset to the right way of thinking is only one part of the equation, only one type of the updates you need. If you know your way around computers, updating your mindset is similar to updating the computer’s firmware. The second part of the equation, the other kinds of updates you need, are competence updates. That’s similar to installing new programs on your computer or regularly updating the programs you’ve installed.

    There are several updates you can install besides updating your mindset; I call this increasing your competence level:

    • Increasing your creative and analytical capacity and psychological capital
    • Developing and regularly using your talents
    • Acquiring knowledge – mastering a certain field
    • Acquiring skills – abilities to do an activity well or in a practical manner
    • Improving emotional intelligence
    • Improving social intelligence and communication skills
    • Upgrading your values, views and beliefs
    • Developing wisdom
    • Combining your different competences into T-shaped skills

    The higher the level of your competence, the more capable you are. This leads to many benefits – from better relationships and making more money to making better life choices and being wise. For example, the best way to earn a lot of money is to be good at something that’s in high demand and low supply on the market. Becoming good at something that’s in high demand is nothing but a brain update.

    Updates like these are crucial for your success in life. In today’s creative society, competences are what markets and people are looking for. The more value you can provide to the markets and in relationships, the better the position you have in life.

    Thus make sure that you aren’t making only general updates to your mindset, but that you are also acquiring new competences and putting them to good use. When you combine both, superhuman mindset and many skills that are in high demand, you definitely have the winning combination for living the dream life you want.

    You’ve learned something new when you do things differently.

    The learning formula

    The competence type of updates combined with the right mindset give you the ability to make your brain’s software even more powerful, more capable and more accurate. In other words, you become more intelligent when you regularly update and maintain (lifelong learning) your software (brain’s neurons), and being more intelligent leads to making better decisions and living a better life – the good life.

    Learning updates are done based on the following formula:

    • The right underlying mindset = Firmware updated to the best version
    • Updating your brain (learning) = Download + Process + Apply

    Downloading knowledge means getting new information about something – how things can be done in a better way, how something works or functions, how to operate a machine etc. You get a new piece of information that you didn’t have before or is different from your current knowledge.

    Processing knowledge means reflecting on new information, connecting it to what you already know, analyzing and deciding what you’ll start doing and stop doing based on the new information, talking to other people and engaging in discussions, sleeping it over, and so on.

    Applying knowledge means putting it to use. It means starting to interact differently with your environment. Becoming a better version of yourself, in action. Practically, that means that you put a new skill you’ve acquired to use, stop procrastinating, undertake a new adventure, make better decisions, deepen your relationships, and so on.

    Here are a few examples of how you can “download” knowledge:

    • Listening to lectures
    • Reading
    • Listening to audio books or podcast
    • Watching educational videos
    • Watching demonstrations

    Here are a few examples of how you can “process” knowledge:

    • Doing self-reflection
    • Talking about a new piece of information with other people and with your mentors
    • Doing research
    • Planning and doing scenario-based thinking or a cost-benefit analysis
    • Group discussions
    • Teaching others

    And a few examples of how you can “apply” knowledge in practice:

    • Having real-life experience
    • Changing your behavior and how you do things
    • Being in the search mode – trying, experimenting, gathering feedback from your environment
    • Teaching others after real life experience – for example, by starting to write a blog

    All the things listed above in the “download, process, apply” section are called different learning methods. You can, of course, learn only by reading, but that means only downloading knowledge and it’s rarely enough. Because knowledge is not power, thinking for yourself and applying knowledge is power. You don’t want to only read a book on how to swim, you actually want to try swimming.

    So by far the best way to learn new things is to combine different methods listed above. First you download knowledge in one way or another to get educated, to see other people’s experiences and perspectives, then you process it, which means you apply it to your own life situation, add your own ideas and prepare a plan and, of course, then you apply it by doing something new or things differently in your life.

    Knowledge is not power. Applying knowledge is.

    Make sure you keep your hardware safe and regularly maintain it

    We also shouldn’t forget one more important thing regarding your hardware (body, brain) and how to make it more powerful besides regular updates. You can extend the longevity of things and how well they work with regular maintenance. Your body and brain are no different in this regard. Take good care of your body and take good care of your brain.

    Here are a few ideas for what you can do for better maintenance of your hardware:

    1. Protect your brain at all costs – wear a helmet when on a bike, use seatbelts etc.
    2. Do regular physical exercise – aerobic and anaerobic or at least take regular walks. Make sure you spend enough time in nature breathing in the fresh air.
    3. Keep your margins high enough, take regular breaks and stretch during the breaks.
    4. Reduce the amount of stress and anxiety you face in life.
    5. Get enough sleep every night – it’s the number one thing for keeping your brain healthy.
    6. A healthy diet means a healthier brain – eat a lot of veggies (especially green ones), have moderate fruit consumption, and eat complex carbs, a high amount of healthy fats, low amounts of sugar and low amounts of unhealthy fats and alcohol.
    7. Add brain foods to your diet – EFAs, blueberries, broccoli, seeds, nuts, avocado etc.
    8. Constantly try new things, challenge yourself, travel, talk to new people, never get bored.
    9. Do a creative task every day – do art, brainstorm ideas, write etc.
    10. Do brain teasers, games and different puzzles.
    11. From time to time, play a challenging video game.
    12. With good time management, make sure you work in the creative flow as much as possible every day.

    Books

    Reading

    Among all the ways of “downloading” knowledge to update the “software” that your brain runs, reading is one of the best and most popular ones. Yes, reading is one of the best ways to download knowledge, so make sure you read a lot, every day (here you can find many ideas for how to read more).

    Reading opens up new perspectives and angles to you, it enables you to familiarize yourself with how other people see the world, it enables you to acquire new skills, improve your communication abilities and much more. You can understand the world and yourself much better. That’s why most extremely successful people, no matter the industry, read; and they read a lot.

    When reading in order to update your software, there are two important things to look for:

    The first type of updates are the so-called “aha moments”. You read something and say to yourself, how didn’t I think of that. You discover a new, much greater way to look at the world, interpret something or find a way of doing things. An example of such an “aha” would be – assume there is no ice to break when you want to start a debate with a stranger. You’re already connected to everyone, just show genuine interest in someone and the relationship will start to unfold by itself. There is no ice to really break, hm?

    The second type of updates are different. These are no epiphanies, they’re the things you know are true somewhere deep down, but somehow you just aren’t following them. But when you read that truth in different books over and over again, somehow your brains start to take the truth much more seriously, and so your mindset slowly changes and with that, your words and actions change as well. An example would be reading 15 books on money management, where in every single book you read that you should spend less than you earn.

    With reading, you can easily get to both types of updates. Exercise is one of the best ways to take care of your body, and reading is one of the best ways to take care of your brain. Make sure that you read a lot and, even more importantly, that you regularly apply the newly acquired knowledge.

    How to upgrade your mindset

    Concluding thoughts – do one update at a time

    Congratulations! You’ve read a very extensive guide on how to update your mindset to the superhuman version. I really hope you enjoyed it. As you’ve learned, there are many ways for how to improve your way of thinking, so you learned that acquiring knowledge is not enough, you also have to implement it. So it’s time to get to work and do all the homework.

    The most important thing is that you don’t try to apply too many updates at once. The philosophy you should follow is “one update at a time”. It takes months if not years to do all the updates, and even then the journey never ends. Constant improvement, including the improvement of your mindset, is a lifelong journey.

    Nevertheless, let’s look at a few suggestions and a rough plan for how to do the implementation that will stick with you in the long term. I suggest that in the first week, you start with a simple exercise and then add new ones a week after (or when you feel comfortable to do so). When you add a new exercise, don’t forget that you still have to keep doing the exercises from the previous weeks. You should perform all the exercises in approximately one month, just to learn how to master them.

    When you master them, don’t forget about the process and stages (empathy, stickiness, virality, scaling). One thing is mastering the exercises but something completely else is doing them consistently and slowly observing how your mind shifts through the phases. The beginnings are the hardest, and then with time things get much easier. The hard road always becomes easy with time. So follow this plan:

    Homework

    Week 1 – Learning to identify thoughts in general

    1. Buy a waiter’s pad and start by writing down 5 – 20 random thoughts throughout a day – all thoughts, negative and positive ones. Analyze every one of your thoughts and categorize them (fixed/growth, scarcity/abundance, negative/positive etc.). Only categorize them, nothing else.
    2. Try to become aware of your inner critic.

    Week 2 – Noticing all the negative thoughts that come to your mind throughout a day

    1. Buy a counter or do lines (|||||) in your notepad and start counting all your negative thoughts.
    2. Categorize negative thoughts. Only categorize them, nothing else. Don’t be shocked how many of negative thoughts you may have and make sure you try to identify every single negative thought.
    3. Count and categorize!

    Week 3 – Observing emotions and the environment and when negative thoughts concentrate

    1. Start observing your emotions very closely. Prepare a happiness index for yourself and mark your feelings every morning or every evening. Observe your body language at 5 different times in a day. Mark in your journal if your body language is positive or negative.
    2. Every day, describe your working and home environment in a few sentences – vibrations, atmosphere, specific relationships etc. Was it stressful or not, was it happy, depressing etc. Try to connect how the outer environment reflects your inner state.
    3. Observe how your negative thoughts concentrate when you experience negative emotions.

    Week 4 – Talking back to your inner critic

    1. Print out the superhuman mindset helpers on the AgileLeanLife blog – proofs of abundance, list of questions to encourage optimal thinking, Kaizen rules etc. and always have them with you.
    2. Start doing emotional accounting. At the moment you feel stuck, aren’t performing optimally or have severe negative emotions, stop, write down your thoughts and do emotional accounting, cognitive reframing or any other exercise.

    Week 5 and 7 – Adding other exercises

    1. Experiment how different approaches to thought or behavioral conditioning are working out for you.
    2. Test different tools to improve your mindset even further – journaling, visualization, affirmations, transformational vocabulary, meditation, breathing exercises and improving your posture and body language. Test each tool for several days and pay close attention to what works for you and what doesn’t.
    3. Make sure you increase the amount of quality content you read every day.

    It will take you approximately two months altogether to master all the exercises. In this time, you should already slowly get through empathy phase. Then comes the hardest phase, the stickiness phase. Please don’t give up. It’s only a test of whether you want it enough. And I believe in you that you do. Even more, you deserve it. Stick to it and it will only get easier.

    Do exercises and live a few years of your life like most people won’t, so that you can spend the rest of your life like most people can’t.

    See yourself as a life and mindset scientist who strives to strategically and systematically do all the updates. It’s hard to be consistent with the exercises, but it’s also fun and it feels great. Enjoy performing all the exercises and be proud of all the progress you make during the exercises. Again, just make sure that you have realistic expectations.

    With the mindset updates, you will soon also see the positive changes in your life and that will motivate you even further to really make sure your brain and its software become the superhuman version. Enjoy the journey and unlock an ability to really live the best life possible.

    Last but not least, make sure you regularly read the AgileLeanLife blog for new ideas and quality personal development content, teaching you to become the best version of yourself. If you need somebody to believe in you, you’re always welcome on the AgileLeanLife blog.

    As long as you’re going to be thinking anyway, think right!

    Download all the free files, including the free eBook version of this article series

    Since this article is really long, you can download it as an eBook, completely for free. In addition, you can download a few templates and additional files that will help you with the mindset update process, also completely for free. Enjoy the content and put exercise files to good use.

    AgileLeanLife Upgrade Your Mindset eBook CoverList of files you can download:

    • eBook Upgrade your mindset to the superhuman version (PDF)
    • Template to do emotional accounting, cognitive reframing and behavioral accounting (XLS)
    • Catalog of all the different toxic thoughts and detailed checklist for cognitive distortions (PDF)
    • Happiness Index template (XLS, PDF)
    • Proof of abundance in the world (PDF)
    • List of questions to encourage optimal thinking (XLS)

    You can download the files below:

    [emaillocker]

    eBook

    • Free eBook – Upgrade your mindset to the superhuman version (PDF)

    Exercise files

    [/emaillocker]

    Resources and further reading

    Resources for this article and further reading:

    • Carol Dweck – Mindset: How You Can Fulfil Your Potential
    • David Burns – Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
    • Rosalene Glickman – Optimal Thinking: How to Be Your Best Self
    • Stephen R. Covey – The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
    • Robert Kegan – immunity to Change
  • Upgrade your mindset to the superhuman version

    From Buddha (Zen Buddhism) and Marcus Aurelius (stoic Roman emperor) to every single personal development guru or coach today, there is one piece of advice that comes forward again and again: You become what you think. Changing your thoughts is the only way you can really change your life to a more positive course and it’s the only way to live the good life you really want.

    I completely agree with this philosophy, from my own personal experience. If you want to make positive changes in your life, you really do have to start by upgrading your mindset and the way you think. The good news is that you can relatively easily change the quality of your life by upgrading your mindset, even though it takes some time and effort.

    Your thoughts are kind of instructions for your future self on what to become.

    The bad news is that almost no guru tells you exactly how to upgrade your thinking. Well, it’s time to end that. It’s time for you to get access to all the necessary hacks and tools that can help you live your dream life, simply by more properly managing your thoughts. Welcome to the ultimate guide that will teach you how to upgrade your mindset – to the superhuman version.

    In this article you will learn:AgileLeanLife Upgrade Your Mindset eBook Cover

    • Why thoughts are important and how they shape your life
    • Several awesome tools and hacks for upgrading your mindset to the best possible version
    • All the know-how necessary to strategically and systematically upgrade your mindset
    • Different exercises that will help you make the new mindset updates permanent
    • Additional ideas that may speed up and help you properly update your mindset
    • Why updating your mindset is only one part of the equation. As we will see, you also need “constant learning updates” to stay superhuman.
    • Plus: You can download mindset update article series as a free eBook with several free templates to do mindset upgrades more easily

    The only investment you have to make is reading the article and then implementing the tools. It’s almost a zero investment (if we count your time) compared to what you get out of it – an opportunity to live your dream life and become superhuman. Thus we can easily say that it costs you nothing to update your mindset.

    It costs you nothing to update your mindset.

    This article is really quite long, so make sure you have a few hours of free time, grab a cup of coffee and prepare that your life will never be the same again; because you will turn into a superhuman. The article is divided into two parts, you can also download both parts together as a free eBook with many templates and other free files.

    • Part 1: The core ways to update your mindset that will make your thinking superhuman (this one you are reading now)
    • Part 2: How to update your mindset – cognitive and behavioral conditioning and other mind hacks
    • The eBook version if you don’t have the time to read the article now (Part 1 + Part 2)
    • Templates, exercise files and other files that come with the article (yes, this article comes with seven different exercise files and templates)

    AgileLeanLife Upgrade Your Brain Learn More Now

    How your thoughts shape your life and why you need to upgrade your mindset

    One of the most popular and important quotes in history, attributed to Mahatma Gandhi, goes like this: Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your habits, your habits become your values and your values become your destiny. It’s a causal analysis that shows very well how your thoughts shape your destiny.

    The problem in this causality or, to be more exact, between your thoughts and your destiny, is that the human mind is filled with drunken monkeys, jumping around, screeching, chattering, carrying on endlessly – trying to hurt you and hurt others. Drunken monkeys are no good for your destiny, that’s why we say that even your worst enemy can’t hurt you as badly as your untamed mind can.

    Nearly all people have extremely poor control over their mind. Their mindset is weak, and consequently negative and destructive thoughts start hindering their lives day by day. It’s impossible to live a positive, quality, peak performance life with a negative mind and a poor mindset. You have exactly 0.0% chances of succeeding in that.

    Here are a few examples of tough life situations caused by nothing but a poor mindset:

    • Avoiding challenges, giving up easily and seeing any effort in life as fruitless.
    • Not listening to the feedback from your environment and using it to act in a smarter way.
    • Being obsessed with how much other people make and what they own.
    • Shyness, bitterness, depression, isolation, procrastination and feeling like a victim.
    • Labeling yourself (or others) with negative labels like “I’m not good with computers”
    • Focusing on what you don’t have and on all the problems you have to face.
    • Following the goals of others instead of your own goals.
    • Feeling stuck, not acting at all and not knowing what to do or which next step to take.
    • Engaging in non-productive and useless fights and gossiping.
    • Not accepting the things you can’t change.
    • …and many other similar thinking patterns.

    A poor mindset can really paralyze your willpower and your desire to do things. A poor mindset always leads to suffering, misery and a low quality of life. Poor mindsets like hopelessness, helplessness, overwhelming yourself, jumping to conclusions, self-labelling, undervaluing the reward, perfectionism, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of disapproval and criticism, coercion and resentment, low frustration tolerance, guilt and self-blame are usually most commonly associated with average, zombie or even depressed and miserable life. And you definitely deserve better.

    That leads to one very obvious direction and solution. Only strategic and constant work on your mindset will improve your thoughts; and better thoughts will bring more positive actions, more positive actions will bring more positive outcomes. It’s that simple. Your way of thinking defines your way of doing things and interacting with the world. The better you think, the better your life experience is.

    Only developing the right kind of mindset and carefully managing your thoughts lead to personal wisdom, freedom, success and peak performance – in other words, becoming the best version of yourself and living the good life.

    By far the best thing you can do for the quality of your life is to cultivate the ability to respond to each moment with wisdom, compassion, generosity, kindness, creativity and responsibility. Towards yourself and other people.

    No matter how difficult of a situation you are in, you can always reframe your way of looking at things. You can always find a more positive angle and wiser thoughts regarding a tough life situation, and consequently also change your goals and actions in a way that you have more control over your life. You can always put yourself in a position that enables you to make a step towards a brighter future. But you can only achieve that with the right mindset.

    An important fact of life is that the greatest power you always have is changing the angle of how you look at things. In the end, the ultimate control you have is the control over your judgments and your mental state or, in other words, how you interpret the things that are happening to you.

    There are three ultimate goals you want to meet when it comes to your mindset becoming the superhuman version. You want to:

    1. Make sure you control your mind and not vice-versa (that your mind controls you).
    2. Perform a few core updates to your mindset that will make your general way of thinking much better (all the necessary updates are described in this blog post).
    3. Commit to lifelong learning and constantly improving yourself.

    Now let’s dive into the theory and a step-by-step process of how to update your mind to the superhuman version that will lead you to achieving your peak performance in every area of life.

    The core upgrades you need for your new superhuman mindset

    Unfortunately, there is no single update for having a superhuman mindset. You need to make several different core updates and all of them working together will take your mindset, way of thinking, general outlook on life and quality of decision-making to a whole new level.

    Some of the upgrades are based on decades of scientific psychological research, others are more individual experiences of many different people who decided to dramatically improve their lives.

    Upgrade your mindset

    Here are the nine different crucial mindset updates that will take you straight to the superhuman version:

    1. From the fixed mindset to the growth mindset
    2. From the scarcity mindset to the abundance mindset
    3. From negative thinking to positive thinking
    4. From the problem-oriented mindset to the solution-oriented mindset
    5. From reactive thinking to proactive thinking
    6. From suboptimal thinking to optimal thinking
    7. From egotistical thinking to agile thinking
    8. Regret Minimization Framework (for bigger life decisions)
    9. Shutting down your mind

    These are the updates you need, so it’s time to make a deep dive into each mindset upgrade to see what exactly does it mean and how you can benefit from it.

    From the fixed mindset to the growth mindset

    AgileLeanLife Growth MindsetEverything starts with the difference between having a growth and a fixed mindset. This is the upgrade that unlocks access to all other upgrades, this is the one mindset upgrade that makes up the whole difference between living a peak performance or average life. If you aren’t willing to do this update, you can stop reading this blog post right now.

    If you have the fixed mindset, you believe that your character and potential are unchangeable, that they’ve been “written in stone” since birth. With the fixed mindset, you assume things are as they are and there’s nothing you can do about it; the only thing you can do is hope for a stroke of good luck from time to time. Why would you then need any brain updates anyway?

    A fixed mindset means believing that your abilities, personality and character are determined at birth.

    A fixed mindset leads to avoiding any challenges, avoiding any failure, trying to look smart at any cost instead of learning, self-labeling, defensive behavior and blaming others, ignoring constructive criticism, not following your own goals, envy and, last but not least, reaching your plateau in different areas of life very early. With the fixed mindset, you give up early with every challenge you undertake and you see any kind of effort as pointless.

    Here are a few examples of thinking based on the fixed mindset:

    • Why should I bother, it won’t change anything anyway.
    • I’m either good at something or I’m not.
    • I don’t like challenges.
    • When I fail, I’m a complete loser.
    • The success of other people threatens me.

    On the other hand, the growth mindset means that you believe in personal evolution and that you can improve your character by working on yourself. In business, the growth mindset is called Kaizen and it means constant improvement. With the growth mindset, you don’t take things as they are, but you know you can always improve them in one way or another.

    The growth mindset means believing that your abilities, personality and character can be developed and improved.

    Here are a few examples of thinking based on the growth mindset:

    • I can learn everything I want to do.
    • With effort I improve, learn and grow.
    • I like challenges and I want to constantly challenge myself.
    • When I fail, I can learn.
    • The success of other people inspires me.

    A growth mindset leads towards constantly undertaking new challenges, being focused on learning and personal growth, trying new things and learning from failure, persisting through obstacles, minding constructive criticism and feedback from the environment, finding inspiration in other’s people success and achieving personal peak performance in different areas of life with long-term effort. If you have the growth mindset, you are very well aware that effort is the road to mastery.

    The difference between the growth mindset and the fixed mindset was introduced by Stanford professor Dr. Carol Dweck based on many years of scientific research. The growth mindset goes extremely well together with the Kaizen philosophy from lean production in business.

    Kaizen is the Japanese word for a “good change” (Kai = change, Zen = good) and it means constant improvement or, to be more exact, it means having a system of constantly looking for and implementing improvements. There is always a way to do things better, make them better and improve them, even if they aren’t broken. Including you. In Kaizen, problems are seen as opportunities to improve.

    The bottom line of this upgrade is becoming aware that things aren’t fixed and you can improve your life situation no matter how hard it is. You might not be able make yourself 5 cm taller, but you can definitely become smarter, fitter, sharper, more goal-oriented, expose yourself to many more opportunities, and so on. Only with the growth mindset can you become the best version of yourself. Further reading for this brain update:

    From the scarcity mindset to the abundance mindset

    AgileLeanLife Abundance MentalityWith the growth mindset update, your brain gets programmed for you to constantly improve, grow and love challenges. You are aware that the quality of your life greatly depends on the effort you put in. You know that you get out of life only what you put in. Okay, it’s time for the next update. The next update targets you starting to focus on what you do have in life and the opportunities that are available to you, instead of being focused on what you lack and how others are luckier than you are.

    This update is called the abundance mindset. The abundance mindset consists of three crucial elements:

    1. seeing all the possibilities the world has to offer in order to create, connect, grow and enjoy;
    2. knowing that you deserve love and prosperity;
    3. and realizing that if you’d experience only plentitude in life, it would be boring as hell and you wouldn’t appreciate anything you have at all.

    The opposite of the abundance mindset is a scarcity mentality. With the scarcity mentality, you focus on what you lack, how life is unfair, how you can’t get what you want, how it’s never enough, and so on. That isn’t any good kind of focus. The scarcity mentality doesn’t only lead to an impoverished life, it also makes you take malicious actions towards yourself and others.

    The scarcity mindset leads to aggressive competitivness and hurting yourself and others, it leads to envy, greed, gluttony, a desire to control people, hating it when other people succeed or even self-castration, procrastination, shyness, depression and isolation. If you focus on the negative in life, you will only get more negative.

    This update is quite hard, but that’s why it’s so much more important. Because opportunities always exist, there is always a way to go forward and you always have things that you can be grateful for. The problem is that it’s much easier to become blind to the opportunities than to become aware of your toxic beliefs, feelings and mind focus that block your assertiveness and cause symbolic self-castration or over-aggression.

    Here are examples of scarcity thinking and beliefs:

    • There is only one right person for me in this world, if s/he doesn’t love me, everything is lost.
    • There are so many people living in poverty, so why would I deserve to be rich.
    • Happy people are spoiled people who don’t know the hard realities of life.
    • I must take away from others to have more in my life, so others will suffer if I take more.
    • Nobody really loves me; everyone just wants something from me.
    • There are no right job opportunities for me and I don’t have good business ideas.

    But all those are nothing but cognitive errors. There are more than 7 billion people in the world so there is no realistic reason why you should suffer in isolation. There are 4,000, billion dollars in circulation and you can definitely contribute to the markets somehow to make enough money. There are 130 million books published so there is definitely one book you would be curious to read. There are more than 190 million companies and many of them your perfect fit to work for. Not to mention 1,200 different hobbies and sports you can do to really enjoy life.

    The world is full of abundance; you just have to see it.

    When you update your mindset from the scarcity to the abundance one you realize that:

    • You deserve to take care of your needs in a healthy and respectful manner
    • You focus on all the opportunities you have and undertake the best ones
    • You can satisfy your material needs based on win-win situations and providing value to markets
    • There are no limits to how much love, creativity and encouragement you can share
    • You should use domination exclusively when you must protect yourself and are in danger
    • You don’t need to be greedy and you don’t need to control others

    One more thing. The abundance mindset doesn’t mean that you should have unlimited material resources in life. It means that deep inside, you feel that you deserve good things in life and go after your goals, focused on the opportunities you currently have – and there are always opportunities, there is always a step you can make towards a better life.

    We will soon talk about different tools for updating your mindset. Nevertheless, I can’t stop my eagerness to share with you the actions you can take. So you can do a simple exercise that will help you with the abundance mindset development.

    Homework

    Write down real data and proof of how much abundance there really is in the world, and then face your fears of rejection, abandonment, humiliation, missing out on things etc. Because only fears are stopping you from going after your goals, not the lack of opportunity.

    In addition to that, make a gratitude list, have a list of your past accomplishments and a list of things you enjoy, visualize abundance, regularly brainstorm ideas, analyze all the opportunities available to you, develop a greater capacity for love, and be open and tolerant. More about all that soon, but now let’s go to the next update.

    From negative thinking to positive thinking

    AgileLeanLife Positive ThinkingAt this point, I suppose you’ve programmed yourself to constantly grow and focus on the opportunities you currently have. Nevertheless, you may still be hindered by severe negative thinking from time to time. And negative thinking is the worst kind of thinking.

    The fact is that you simply can’t live a positive life with a negative mind. You can move forward and be bitter at the same time. But you don’t want that, you want to move forward and be happy and positive. This means that the purpose of this mindset upgrade is to completely root out negative thinking from you.

    To evict negative thinking, you must first understand what negative thoughts are. Negative thoughts are also called cognitive distortions. The name comes from the fact that when you think negatively, you interpret reality as much darker than it actually is – you most often see things much more negatively than they really are.

    With too many cognitive distortions, you’re simply trapped in living a zombie life, seeing the world as very dark, sorrowful and full of terror. The extent of negative thinking is enormous. Your mood slumps, your self-image crumbles, your body doesn’t function properly, your willpower becomes paralyzed and your own actions defeat you. You start sabotaging yourself and your negative thoughts become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    So the main question is: what is the main difference between positive and negative thinking? Here is a simple explanation. Positive thoughts are tender thoughts of sharing, connecting and loving – yourself, people, things and ideas. On the other hand, negative thoughts are rough mental energies of excluding, disconnecting and hating – yourself, people, things and ideas.

    Positive thoughts Negative thoughts
    Connecting Disconnecting
    Sharing Excluding
    Loving Hating

    Now we have a very general and broad definition of positive and negative thinking. Nevertheless, negative thinking can be a lot more dissected in order to easily identify negative thoughts. Based on years of psychological research by David D. Burns, negative thinking comes up in the following different forms:

    • All-or-nothing thinking: You think in absolute terms, everything is black or white, there is no middle path. But many times, the middle path is the best path.
    • Overgeneralization: You see one negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
    • Mental filtering: You ignore the positive sides and focus only on negative things.
    • Discounting the positive: You minimize or don’t give any recognition to positive qualities.
    • Jumping to conclusions: You assume the worst before even knowing what’s really happening.
    • Magnification and minimization: You make small problems big, and big opportunities small.
    • Emotional reasoning: You reason exclusively from your emotions when they are negative. But your negative emotions are not solid proof of how reality really is.
    • Should statements: You criticize yourself and others because of how things should be and what should be done. You preach to yourself and others with “should” statements.
    • Labeling: You identify yourself or others with shortcomings and failures.
    • Personalization and blame: You blame yourself for things that weren’t entirely your fault or weren’t your fault at all.

    As you can see, all the negative thoughts are very violent and disconnecting in one way or another. Negative thoughts are nothing but your mind going to war with others or with yourself. And you should never go to war, especially not with yourself. Shifting from disconnecting, excluding and hating to connecting, sharing, tolerating and other gentle mental energies can do wonders for you. How exactly to do that, we will examine in the next chapter, but the simple fact is that there is zero room for negative thoughts in the superhuman way of thinking. Period.

    Additional reading: Cognitive distortions and negative thinking

    From the problem-oriented mindset to the solution-oriented mindset

    AgileLeanLife Solution Oriented MindA big part of what you have to do in life is problem-solving. Nobody alive, now or ever, can live a life without problems. The only people without problems are dead people. You constantly have to deal with problems at work, problems at home, problems with people, problems with machines (computers), problems with yourself and your health, you name it. Problems are a fact of life and there are only two ways how you can approach and deal with this fact.

    You can cry or you can be a problem-solver. In the first approach, you’re only focused on a problem that’s pissing you off, you negatively think about “how hard” your life is and when better (problem-free) times will come for you. You bitch, whine and complain, try to get some comfort from other people and hope that problems will die by themselves. Of course they won’t, and sooner or later you’ll have to deal with them. Usually people wait until problems grow so big that they just have to start dealing with them.

    “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein

    But here’s the catch. You can’t be focused on a problem and look for a creative solution at the same time. You can’t blame others for problems and brainstorm solutions at the same time. You can’t bitch, whine and complain, and think of creative ideas for how a problem could be solved. But the moment you shift your focus from a problem to potential solutions, negative emotions disappear and you can engage your creative mind. So the question is why would you even be focused on a problem in the first place, no matter how hard the situation is.

    It doesn’t make any sense. Instead focus immediately on how to solve a problem. That’s why you must always obtain the solution-oriented mindset. You must be like Thomas Edison who tried 10,000 different ways until he invented a light bulb, everything without complaining and feeling sorry for himself. He just learned and looked for new ways how to do things.

    Here are a few additional ideas for keeping a solution-oriented mindset:

    • Maintain a positive attitude. A walk in nature can help with that a lot.
    • Know that problems and waste are only opportunities for engaging your creative mind. Again, problems equal opportunities.
    • Always question everything and always look for ways how to do things better.
    • Doubt the so-called best practices, there are always ways to do things better.
    • Discard any fixed ideas and stay flexible on how you’ll get to the solution. At everything that exists or is only part of your imagination, you can look from a different angle. The most flexible survive, not the strongest ones. That also includes being flexible in your mind.
    • Eliminate “can’t” from your vocabulary.
    • Do things right away and immediately test new solutions and new ideas. You need feedback from real-life situations and make further decisions based on solid data, not solely on your opinion.
    • Know that every failure means nothing but being just one step closer to the right solution. Success is a lousy teacher and failure is the best one.
    • Seek the wisdom of other people, such as coworkers, mentors, coaches. Never put your ego in front of learning from other people.

    Every time you encounter a problem that pisses you off and you just want to start bitching, whining and complaining, pause for a moment. Instead take a deep breath, start managing your emotions and open your mind to creative problem-solving thinking.

    Further reading: The difference between the problem- and solution-oriented mindset

    From reactive thinking to proactive thinking and superproactivity

    AgileLeanLife Proactive MindsetWhen you successfully implement all the mindset updates mentioned so far, your life will already dramatically change to the better. Nevertheless, this superproactivity update takes everything even a step further; a lot further. The main point of this update is to take full responsibility for your life. Complete full responsibility for all life areas. First, let’s look at the difference between the reactive and the proactive mindset.

    The reactive mindset means that you don’t take any initiative or make strategic decisions about your life, you just go where life kicks you; and then you react to what happens to you, sometimes with positive, but more often with negative feelings. Being reactive means you have no clear goals about your life, you just hope for the best. But only having hope is never a good strategy.

    The reactive mindset is often seen in chosen words like I need, I must, I can’t, I have to, if only and similar. Changing vocabulary to I want, I prefer, I can, I choose and I will is the first step toward a proactive mindset. The main idea of being proactive is to ask yourself what’s likely to happen, and you act accordingly in order to get the best possible outcome. You act before a situation becomes a source of frustration or crisis. You are always one step further than your life is.

    Below are the steps for becoming a proactive person. If you want to become one, you have to:

    • Be aware that life doesn’t just happen, you are the one designing your life
    • Take full responsibility for your life and stop blaming others
    • Work hard on developing healthy self-confidence
    • Set a clear vision and mission for your life
    • Strategically define your life strategy and follow it
    • Very clearly define the outcomes and goals you want to achieve
    • Analyze your environment for what’s likely to happen in the future, how that influences your life, and prepare several potential scenarios for how you can take advantage of market shifts and other paradigms in the environment
    • Strategically choose and build key relationships
    • Hope for the best, but be prepared for the worst

    Nevertheless, you can take your mindset even a step further from proactivity. It’s called being superproactive. Superproactivity means taking full and complete responsibility for your life, including the areas where you expect nature, love, government, church or whoever to take care of things instead of you. You take responsibility for your own life in the hardest areas ever.

    But which are these areas (with an example of reactive behavior)?

    • Intimate relationships: You wait to fall in love
    • Career: You want to do something that you’re passionate about
    • Pension: You hope the government will take care of your pension
    • Job security: A diploma and a job contract with a strong union backup is what I need
    • Raising children: Everyone has kids, so we all just know how to raise kids
    • Information consumption: You read what appears on your social network timelines

    It’s time that you also proactively take responsibility for these areas in your life. That means getting educated, thinking ahead and building a superior strategy, putting yourself in a position of many options, and following through with your plan while staying agile and flexible. You can read more about superproactivity here.

    From suboptimal thinking to optimal thinking

    AgileLeanLife Optima ThinkingNow you’ve taken full control and responsibility for your life with the right kind of superproactive mindset. The next step and the next update are there to make sure you always go for the best in life and get the best from life.

    Everything that isn’t the best way is called suboptimal and everything that’s best for you is called optimal. That’s why we also know optimal and suboptimal thinking, and you definitely want to update your thinking in a way that you employ optimal thinking most of the time.

    “Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers.” ― Voltaire

    If you want to engage optimal thinking, you have to start asking yourself the right questions. Only the right question can encourage your brain to start looking for the best solutions. “The best” is key in optimal thinking. When you encounter a problem or you have an important decision to make and are looking for a solution, add “the best” to the question you are asking yourself.

    Examples of suboptimal thinking:

    • Why is this happening to me?
    • Why did they give me a task, they know it’s too demanding for me?
    • What if I fail and everybody laughs at me?
    • What should I do now?
    • Which option should I choose?

    And examples of optimal thinking:

    • What’s the best way to do this thing?
    • How can I solve a problem in the best way?
    • Which is the best option for me?
    • What will lead to the best possible outcome?

    You can also replace the best with other superlatives, like: greatest (talents), highest (priority), smartest (way to work), most (profitable, productive, enjoyable, rewarding, important), maximal (output, productivity, time spent together), and so on.

    The main idea is that by asking yourself the right questions, you engage the right kind of thinking that will go straight to looking for the best solution for whatever you’re facing. When you ask yourself the right questions, there is no more room for being stuck, depressed or miserable. With the right questions and by putting your creative potential to use, you can always find the best action for a certain situation. Indeed, an incredible and very useful update. The optimal thinking concept was designed by Rosalene Glickman, Ph.D.

    Additional reading: Only optimal thinking leads to achieving maximum results

    From egotistical thinking to agile thinking

    AgileLeanLife Agile ThinkingDarwin figured out centuries ago that not the strongest survive, the most flexible ones do. In general, we are generally obsessed with organization, productivity, creativity and innovation – maximizing strength and output. But that doesn’t completely go together with Darwin’s findings. And you know what happened to the strong and mighty dinosaurs.

    So in order to have a superhuman mindset, you need an update to optimize your life not only for productivity and creativity, but also for flexibility. Now, this update is a tough one, but it’s also huge and extremely important for a superhuman brain. You see, you are egotistically invested in your beliefs, convictions, goals and needs. And it hurts like hell to be wrong about something or to fail.

    Wrong assumptions are the mother of all fuckups.

    So many times you would rather live in a lie called “fake progress” than to actually measure your progress and the course you’re on. One big defeat at the end seems much easier to cope with than taking mini small defeats upon yourself from the very beginning, enabling you to constantly adjust you course. Nevertheless, the final big defeat can be fatal, like it was for dinosaurs.

    Living in a lie of “fake progress” is represented by things like doing a job you hate, staying with an abusive partner for the rest of your life just because you were in love once, drowning in debt by making wrong financial decisions and investments, suffering from low productivity and happiness levels, and so on. In such a case, you would rather create in your head naïve hopes that things will get better and that this is the best you can do.

    If you’re in a hole, simply stop digging.

    The idea behind agile thinking is pretty simple. You consciously decide to have two different categories of actions, tasks and activities. They either fall into “the search mode” or “the execution mode” box. You strategically decide when you search for the right thing for you (the so-called fit) and your progress is thus measured only by learning about yourself and your environment. And only when you find your fit you decide to commit and set strict goals.

    When you know you’re in the search mode, you don’t have any egotistical expectations and you don’t put in any real commitment. Wrong expectations lead to disappointments and every commitment leads to heavy energy investments, and you shouldn’t be investing before you know what you are truly investing in. So in the search phase you just try, experiment, observe, reflect and learn about yourself and the world. The most important thing is to have no fixed ideas and no expectations at all in this phase.

    Path to success

    In the search mode, you then make two important decisions. Persevere or pivot? If something works for you (relationship, job, sport, goal, commitment), you persevere and enter the execution mode. If something doesn’t work for you, you pivot to something else and stay in the search mode. The criteria for making the pivot or persevere decision is the happiness index (positive emotions mean you’re on the right track) and life metrics that are measuring your real progress.

    And if something doesn’t work for you and you decide to pivot, you have to make sure you really do learn what works for you and what doesn’t. In such a case, you shouldn’t make the same mistakes twice. That is called validated learning.

    Examples of egotistical thinking:

    • I finally got a job, I’m such a lucky devil.
    • I am so in love with that person, she’s the right one for me.
    • I will lose 10 pounds in the next two months by eating less and exercising more.
    • There is a crisis in our industry, but I think I won’t lose my job.
    • My way or the highway.

    And examples of agile thinking:

    • I will try several different tasks to see what I’m really good at, develop my talents, prepare a list of 30 companies I want to work for, research them, somehow get involved in projects with them and after gaining real-life experience with a few different companies, convince the best company to hire me.
    • Based on my previous relationship experience, I will prepare a persona of my ideal partner, join clubs, hobbies and online dating sites where there is the highest probability to meet a spouse with the characteristics I like, and I will date until I find the best partner for me. I know my deal breakers and I know a relationship has to develop through certain stages for me to know if they’re the one for me (first date, sex, intellectual connection etc.).
    • I will try 5 different sports and diets in the next 15 weeks to find the best one for me – the one I like, can really commit to and with which I get the best response from my body (body fat percentage, aerobic performance, energy levels etc.). Then I will permanently change my lifestyle, stick to my perfect diet daily without exceptions, and regularly do a sport I really like. I will do that with the help of a nutritionist and a personal trainer.
    • What kind of feedback am I getting from the environment and how could I adjust my actions to get a better result? Are trends/relationships supporting my actions or not, and how can I make sure they support my course of action?
    • What should I start doing, stop doing and continue doing to achieve my goal?

    You may lie to yourself that you are right and then the harsh reality will sooner or later show you that you are wrong. Or you can admit to yourself, from the beginning, that you are always “wrong before you are right”, decide to experiment and fail a lot in the beginning, but win big in the long term, because you commit to the right thing, to the perfect fit for you. With agile thinking, you make sure you aren’t climbing a ladder that’s leaned against the wrong wall.

    Regret Minimization Framework

    AgileLeanLife Regret Minimization FrameworkIf the agile thinking update is quite pretentious, this one is simple. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions and this update is perfect for those situations. Examples of this kind of decisions are whether you should quit your job and start your own business, end a relationship or maybe move to another country. The Regret Minimization framework can greatly help you with that kind of decisions.

    It is pretty simple to engage the Regret Minimization Framework as part of your mindset. When you have to make a big important decision, project yourself forward to the age of 80. Looking back on your life, you want to minimize the number of regrets. If you project yourself to the age of 80 and think about your potential regrets, it becomes a lot clearer which path you should choose.

    Ask yourself: Will I regret not doing this on my deathbed?

    Know that you can move on from a failure or from a rejection, but regret always stays with you. In other words, you can always move forward from a failure or a rejection, but you may regret not knowing. So when you’re facing a tough decision, knowing this principle can help you a lot. Just make sure you’re making decisions based on calculated risk (low risk and huge potential reward), and that you aren’t making any stupid decisions that could destroy your life.

    Shutting down your mind

    Agile Lean Life Shut Down Your MindLast but not least, probably the most important update of all – learning how to shut down your mind. The purpose of all the updates until now is to use your mind in a superior way. To make sure that when you think, you think big and the right way – a way to maximize your productivity, achievements, flexibility and happiness.

    Nevertheless, sometimes the greatest and the most productive thing you can do with your mind is to shut it down. There are many benefits to learning how not to use your mind and how not to think, and just be. It’s a crucial mental skill if you want to live in the present moment and if you want to be happy.

    There are many activities that require you to just be and to just enjoy them, without overly analyzing, planning, reviewing or judging.

    Overthinking your life, what you have and what you don’t, what other people think of you, how was your performance etc., will definitely make your life completely miserable. Applying all the updates we’ve talked about will already help you a lot to not get stuck in overanalyzing, but sometimes the best thing you can do is to let go and stop thinking. Here are a few such examples:

    • You usually stop enjoying relationships the moment you want to control them. And you want to control them because your mind goes crazy and starts imagining many painful things. Shut down your mind when you are with the person and just enjoy the relationship.
    • You can’t have the best sex of your life if you don’t let go of your mind and thinking, and just enjoy the present moment, being yourself with all your heart.
    • When you are exercising, shut down your mind. Enjoy the exercise, relax, stop thinking and overanalyzing. Yes, have a superior plan, do learn how to perform exercises perfectly, but also learn to let go when necessary.

    Every skill you want to master in life at some point, you have to do it subconsciously and naturally, without any thinking and overanalyzing. Like driving a car. You can do that by deliberately shutting down your mind and enjoying life in the present moment. There are two ways how to do that.

    First, find activities where you naturally shut down your mind. Those are different things for different people, but the most popular ones are doing different kinds of sports, cooking, making love, dancing, listening to music etc. Find at least one activity where you can let go of your mind and observe how you behave and how your inner state looks like when your mind is shut down. Then practice transferring the same inner state to other tasks, activities and life areas.

    The second thing you can do is to consciously command your mind to STOP.

    • When you find you are overly analyzing yourself, people or situations, say STOP to your mind and choose to just be instead
    • When you find yourself over-assessing how you or others are performing, say NOW STOP to your mind and choose to just do it instead
    • When you find yourself overthinking life, say STOP to yourself and choose to just enjoy life and smile instead
    • When you find yourself being too judgmental, say STOP and choose to just love instead

    Of course you have to know very well when it’s time to use your mind for an analytical task, when for a creative one, when there is a better way to think with all the updates mentioned, and you have to know when it’s time to shut down your mind. These are all the tools at your disposal, and you have to use the right one in the right situation. It’s more art than science, but with some experimenting and testing, you can get good at it quickly.

    Template

    Download all the free files, including the free eBook version of this article series

    Since this article is really long, you can download it as an eBook, completely for free. In addition, you can download a few templates and additional files that will help you with the mindset update process, also completely for free. Enjoy the content and put exercise files to good use.

    AgileLeanLife Upgrade Your Mindset eBook CoverList of files you can download:

    • eBook Upgrade your mindset to the superhuman version (PDF)
    • Template to do emotional accounting, cognitive reframing and behavioral accounting (XLS)
    • Catalog of all the different toxic thoughts and detailed checklist for cognitive distortions (PDF)
    • Happiness Index template (XLS, PDF)
    • Proof of abundance in the world (PDF)
    • List of questions to encourage optimal thinking (XLS)

    You can download the files below:

    [emaillocker]

    eBook

    • Free eBook – Upgrade your mindset to the superhuman version (PDF)

    Exercise files

    [/emaillocker]

    Continue to Part 2: How to update your mindset – cognitive and behavioral conditioning and other mind hack tools

  • The hard road becomes easy with time

    I talk so much about the easy and hard roads in my blog posts (the exact quote: the easy road becomes hard with time and the hard road becomes easy) that it’s time for me to clarify what exactly I mean with it. It’s one of the most important lessons of life, illustrating why it’s so important to always make smart decisions, big or small.

    In this article you will learn:

    – Why you are programmed to constantly make the worst decisions possible
    – What is the number one thing you have to do to start making better decisions in life
    – That beginnings are the hardest. Once you develop a new habit, hard becomes easy
    – Smart decisions accumulate and they lead to a high quality of life
    – It’s so hard to save 100$, and so easy to spend it. But it’s so good to have full bank account. :)

    Every day, you take hundreds of small decisions, like what to eat, what to do with your money, how long to sleep, which tasks to do and how well to perform them, and so on. All these small decisions slowly accumulate into different outputs over time – positive or negative ones.

    On the other hand, from time to time you have to make big life decisions, like what to do with larger sums of money you inherit, who to marry or start a family with, whether you should start your own business or change a job, should you drive home drunk or call a cab, and so on. These big decisions immediately have a big impact on your life – a positive or a negative one.

    No matter if we talk about big or small decisions, there are different levels of how wise/smart the decisions are. You can make a somehow okay, good, better or the best possible decision. On the other hand, you can make a not-so-good, bad, worse or even the worst possible decision. The better the decisions you are making on this scale and as often as possible, the better the quality of life that awaits you in the future.

    Failing at doing

    You aren’t programmed to make good decisions

    But here’s the big catch. Unfortunately, you aren’t programmed to make good decisions. Your biology isn’t wired in a way to come even close to good decisions. Ever since the jungle times, you have been programmed to make the worst decisions ever.

    You are programmed to rest a lot (to be lazy, in other words) and to save as much energy as possible – physical, mental and emotional one. You are programmed to eat everything that tastes sweet, stock fat instead of muscles, because muscles are big energy consumers and own as much clutter as possible in your home for eventual hard times in the future.

    You are wired to buy status symbols to rank better on social hierarchy and you are programmed to be attracted to other people, even if you are in a relationship (at least after infatuation fades away).

    You have been programmed for instant gratification since the jungle times, because back then it was hard to find something sweet, if you didn’t immediately eat all the food that you caught a tiger ate it (and you along with it) and you had to be lightweight to be able to climb trees. In addition to that, you were programmed to be afraid of the unknown and changes, because everything new was a matter of life and death back then.

    The list of instincts from jungle times that drive you to make stupid decisions is endless.

    Thus your natural tendency is to make stupid decisions. To watch TV at least five hours per day, eat high sugar food, stare at other booties (or even slap one from time to time) despite being in a serious relationship, buy as many things as possible for the tough times and for a higher social status (you know, to attract a potential mate), and to be afraid of everyone who is different than you.

    But as we will see, the road of instant gratification is the easy road. Unfortunately, it is programmed in your DNA to choose the easy road, over and over again. But you don’t live in a jungle anymore, where life expectancy was 30 years at the most and every single thing that moved tried to kill you. You live in much nicer times now, in times where you need a significantly different life strategy.

    To undertake the hard road, you need the long-term view

    Besides all the instincts that are driving you towards instant gratification, there is another bunch of things given to you. Important things that can help you shape the life strategy you need for today’s time – curiosity, the will to create and discover new things and an ability to plan your future.

    I can also add organizational skills with which you can highly structure and organize your life, the opportunity to grow and improve, and not to mention the most capable computer ever called the brain and the most remarkable device ever called the body.

    All these capabilities given to you are the opposite of primal instincts leading you to make better, healthier decisions in life. But in order to put these capabilities to work, you need to have a long-term perspective. You must see how curbing instant gratification leads to more enjoyment in the future. And that means taking the hard road.

    But how can you develop the capability to possess the long-term view? It’s simple. Even though the future starts sometime later (in the future, obviously), the way to use capabilities that lead to making better life decisions is to make the future feel connected to the present. If you see the future as part of your current self, you can clearly see the requirement for immediate and persistent action in the present moment that leads to the future you want.

    What you need to make better decisions in the present and to keep going in the face of tough life situations and adversity is to make your future self feel like it is in the here-and-now, connected rather than irrelevant to the present self. It may sound slightly confusing, so let me explain with simple examples.

    Psychology and problems

    How do biology and psychology mess with you

    As we now know, making the future self part of your current self is the key. That’s because our natural tendency is to only care about what’s happening here and now, and not where we will be in 3 to 5 or even 10 years. That’s just too far away. The now is much more important than the future, and consequently the pressure of instant gratification is so much higher.

    If you eat a cookie, your enjoyment comes immediately, but the fat comes only after months of eating one cookie too much a day. If you smoke a cigarette, the relaxation benefit is immediate, and it’s probably going to take decades before you develop cancer. Who cares about what will happen in decades, right?

    Not so fast. Bad decisions accumulate into bad outcomes and sooner or later, you have to pay the price. On the other hand, good decisions lead to more enjoyment in the future and a small sacrifice in the present. When you make the future self a part of your now, you can see how enjoyment in the future is much greater than a small sacrifice in the present. And that’s the key to having a long-term view.

    Of course, you have to find the right balance between investing into your future and instant gratification, you aren’t a robot, and you have to constantly fulfill your needs to be a psychologically healthy and assertive person. However, the vast majority of your decisions should be towards your better tomorrow.

    Fortunately, there is a simple life truth that shows where you’re going in life with your current decisions. Short-term history is the best predictor of short-term future. So take your body fat percentage, net worth or any other kind of success metrics and analyze what’s been happening with those metrics in the past few months – is the trend negative or positive? It’s very easy to get a good sense of where you’re going.

    With every next decision you make, ask yourself where that decision is going to lead you tomorrow, and in 6 months, and in 3 years and even in 10 years.

    Make sure you count your future self into the decisions you are making today. That’s how you always keep the long term-view.

    If you aren’t completely convinced yet, let’s look at different life areas and see where does the road of instant gratification, the easy road, lead and where does the hard road, the road of keeping the long-term view, usually take you.

    Practical examples

    Competences and knowledge

    The easy road is to stop reading this article because it’s too long. The easy road is turning on the TV and watching a stupid reality show, laughing at other people how they could be such fools; but are you that different from them, wasting your precious life in front of the TV? The easy road is watching or listening to depressing and negative radio and TV news every day. Because your mind likes it, and it likes it a lot.

    The easy road is spending hours on social networks and stalking other people to know what they are doing. Not far from that is posting rare highlights of your life on social networks, hoping that many people will like your new status. You are getting nowhere in life; you’re only wasting precious seconds, hoping to get a little bit of attention from folks who barely know you.

    The hard road is reading a book instead of watching TV. The hard road is reading one book per week, and only books with high valuable knowledge. The hard road is reading for one hour every single day no matter what, or even reading at least one page of a book every day despite being tired like hell.

    The hard road is taking a massive online open course and actually finishing it. Not only subscribing to it because it’s free. The hard road is finding people you can learn from, convincing someone highly successful to mentor you, and constantly improving yourself.

    The hard road is always acquiring new competences, being curious and constantly trying new things. The hard road is committing yourself to lifelong learning. The easy road is to stop educating yourself and reading right after you finish high school or college. The easy road is forgetting about your brain and skills right after you end with formal education.

    The hardest road possible is not only developing reading discipline, but also applying all the newly acquired knowledge. The hardest road is to change your behavioral patterns, meaning that you stop doing some things and start doing new things. That’s a really hard road. It’s equally hard and tough to think, analyze and strategically develop a competence that is in rare supply on the markets and in great demand (to make lots of money). That’s hard.

    • Where does the hard road lead? Being able to provide all sorts of value to the markets and people.
    • Where does the easy road lead? Having zero job opportunities in life and becoming a boring person.

    Hard Road vs. Easy Road - Money

    Wealth

    It’s so hard to save 100$. And it’s so easy to spend 100$. Saving 100$ is the hard road. Spending 100$ is the easy road. Saving 10% of your paycheck every time the day for your salary payout comes is the hard road. And keeping the discipline that you never ever spend the saved money is as well. Signing mortgage on a house you can’t afford or indebting yourself to buy a new fancy car is the easy road.

    Actually, today saving 10% of your income and investing it in a mutual fund is the easy road. The salesman who has to convince you to sign the investment agreement was on the hard road. You were on the naïve easy road, thinking that people who sell financial products really care about your money. They care about their fees.

    Spending less than you earn is definitely the hard road, but I must also add getting yourself financially educated, knowing different types of investments, making good investment decisions, optimizing your taxes, legally protecting yourself and paying daily or weekly very close attention to what’s happening to your assets and net worth. That’s the hard road.

    • Where does the hard road lead? Having a full bank account, not drowning in debt, having zero financial worries and being able to do so much good with your money.
    • Where does the easy road lead? Drowning in debt and living from paycheck to paycheck.

    Health

    The easy road is sitting on your couch in front of the TV and watching reality shows while eating a bag of potato chips. The easy road is putting a frozen dinner in a microwave instead of cooking a healthy meal. The easy road is eating too much chocolate and blaming your genes for being fat.

    Just bought a magic weight-loss pills? Or a sauna belt to melt your fat while watching TV? You’re on the easiest road possible. It’s not going to work.

    The hard road is calculating the macronutrients you need, planning and preparing your meals in advance, being in a caloric deficit day after day when you are cutting fat, eating no junk food at all, eating not so tasty (compared to chips) green veggies every day, and not overeating even when you’re emotionally stressed.

    The hard road is doing something for your health every day. And it’s not only about your diet, but also about regularly exercising or doing other beneficial things for your body, be it going to the gym, doing a sport you like, stretching, getting a massage, meditating, doing yoga, and so on. Every single day, no matter what.

    The hard road means having a mentality that nothing will come between you and your goals. Nothing!

    The hard road is going to sleep early and making sure you get enough rest. The hard road is continuing on your healthy lifestyle journey even when you feel like shit, even when you injure yourself or hit a plateau. The hard road is finding new exercises that enable you additional fitness progress, constantly improving your diet and listening to your body about when to stop in order to not overtrain.

    • Where does the hard road lead? Feeling good in your own skin, having a six-pack and high levels of energy to enjoy life, living a longer life and suffering from fewer diseases.
    • Where does the easy road lead? A fat body, a hospital bad and low levels of energy.

    Hard Road vs. Easy Road Relationships

    Relationships

    It’s so hard to build up quality relationships and so easy to start abusing them. It’s so easy to emotionally break your kid over and over again. It’s so easy to come home after a hard working day and start nagging to your partner. It’s so easy to go out to a club and cheat. It’s so easy to flirt with others or gossip about them.

    It’s so easy to get into a relationship and stay with the person even if you are miserable, just because you’re scared of being alone. It’s so easy to blame love for bringing wrong people into your life, and it’s so easy to bitch to others about how they should change instead of accepting them as they are and changing yourself.

    It’s so easy to be intolerant towards others, their beliefs and values. It’s easy to judge and despise others. It’s easy to make yourself feel better and superior and it’s so easy to be narrow-minded. Yes, it’s very easy to feel superior because of your color, religion or membership in a social group. It’s so easy to be an asshole boss and so hard to be an exceptional leader.

    It’s the hard road to never stop investing into a relationship dear to you, even after decades. It’s hard to remember all the anniversaries, be attentive and romantic and nurture sexual attraction. It’s very hard become the best version of yourself in order to maximize the value you can offer in relationships. And it’s hard to develop extraordinary communication skills and regularly put them to use.

    It’s the hard road to clean toxic relationships in your life, to make peace with your past and your parents. It’s the hard road to spend time with the people who push you and are better than you and, on the other hand, also mentoring others and sharing your knowledge. That’s really hard, it’s much easier to sit on a beach and watch the waves.

    It’s hard to constantly forge new relationships, search for new people who can enrich your life or build additional dimensions with the people you love in your life. It’s hard to end a relationship when the time for that comes and it’s hard to move on when life wants you to.

    It’s so easy to let relationships just happen, and so hard to be superproactive in relationships, forging the ones that you really need in life. It’s hard to respect different kinds of people and their values.

    • Where does the hard road lead? Deep and healthy relationships, the best thing that can happen to you on this beautiful planet.
    • Where does the easy road lead? To many relationSHITS.

    Career and achievements

    It’s easy to just send out 30 CVs and hoping that someone will reply. It’s so easy to be quiet at a business meeting. It’s so easy to see an employer as someone who abuses you and out of whom you must get the maximum paycheck for the smallest possible investment. It’s so easy to hope that there won’t be much to do in a working day, so you can browse social networks and play games instead.

    It’s so easy to blame your boss for the miserable career. It’s so easy to gossip about other coworkers and being jealous, trying to block their promotion. It’s so easy to do a job you hate, only bitching, whining, complaining and doing nothing. It’s so easy to hope that better career opportunities will fall from the sky right on your head.

    It’s hard to write down 50 ideas every day and share them with your boss or founders, ideas about how the company you work for can improve. It’s hard to bring additional sales into the house. It’s hard to promote your company wherever you go. It’s hard to accelerate your learning when you are new at the company and it’s hard to learn everything about products, industry and key people.

    It’s extremely hard to proactively do an analysis of the companies with which you would fit in best (make a list), and then develop the competences they need and look for, prepare outstanding personal presentation materials (much more than just a standardized CV), start networking with the key employees at different business events and, in the last step, proactively convince them that they simply have to hire you, because you will do anything to help the company grow.

    It’s easy to find a job and it’s easy to write down something as your life mission. The hard road is staying true to your mission and staying motivated at your job even in the hard times.

    It’s hard to find a good cause to fight for and stay true to it. It’s the hard road to motivate your coworkers when they are acting dull, bring solutions to the table and not only point out problems, and show real commitment to help the company grow while also you’re also personally growing.

    • Where does the hard road lead? Self-actualization and respect from professional social circles.
    • Where does the easy road lead? Wasting 1/3 of your life.

    Emotions

    It’s so easy to lose your temper. It’s so easy to feel angry or drown in depression. It’s so easy to not show your emotions or even suppress them. It’s so easy to keep bad body posture and frown all the time. It’s so easy to give in to your fears, not saying hi to a stranger you like or climbing a mountain because you are afraid of heights.

    It’s so easy to lock yourself into a mental and emotional cage, play safe and be scared of everything. It’s so easy to not really live a life, but only exist, making sure you feel as numb as possible, just to avoid any kind of challenge. It’s the easy road, the road on which you just wait for life to pass by. It’s easy to be a zombie.

    Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there. – W. Rogers

    It’s hard to mark your emotional levels on a happiness index every day and analyze them. It’s extremely hard to start disciplining your mind to manage your emotions better. It’s hard to sit down, take a piece of paper and do emotional accounting or cognitive reframing. It’s extremely hard to become better at managing your emotions.

    It’s very hard to express feelings sometimes, but you do it anyway in a respectful manner. That’s the hard road. It’s hard to take the risks of being rejected or failing. It’s hard to be honest with yourself about what you want from life and assert yourself in a healthy way. Going to a therapy if you have issues with depression or any other severe negative feeling is not an easy road. Who likes to admit they need therapy?

    • Where does the hard road lead? Happiness and living life to the full.
    • Where does the easy road lead? Being a zombie, not really living but only existing.

    Kaizen Rules

    The hard road becomes easy with time and the easy road becomes hard

    I saved the best for last. Because only people who read the whole article deserve to know this life secret. Just kidding, but anyway. Even though you have to stand strong against your primal nature and instincts if you want to undertake the hard road in order to live a better life in the future, really hard are only the beginnings.

    It’s true that nature programmed you for life in a jungle, but fortunately you can reprogram yourself to live a happy and successful life in contemporary times – times very different from the jungle era. What am I talking about?

    After forcing yourself to make good choices for only a short period of time, they slowly become routines and routines slowly turn into habits.

    It’s how the hard road is slowly turning into the easy one. We know this concept as developing a new habit. Developing a new (healthier) habit simply means that after performing repetitions for a certain period of time (usually for 30 days), you slowly begin to perform new desired behavior subconsciously, without any effort. That is when a hard road becomes the easy one.

    It may be hard to exercise the first few times, but then you get addicted to it. It may be hard to start reading books instead of watching TV, but I guarantee you that after the first few months you would never go back to it.

    It may be hard to save money, because there’s never enough of it, but when you start and you see that you can survive on 90% income and how good it feels to have money in the bank account, you will definitely love to stick to your new habit.

    That’s why I love to repeat over and over again that the hard road becomes easy with time, and the easy road becomes hard. In the beginning, you have to put in the effort, the hard work, you need self-discipline and win battles against yourself over and over again.

    But with time, making good, healthy decisions becomes much easier. They become part of who you are and how you live your life. You reprogram yourself to live a completely new lifestyle. And then the good life, the successful life, is right at your hands.

    Choose the hard road, you’ll never regret it.

  • How to simplify your life to make room for the important things

    You should be super happy and grateful; you live in the best times ever. Violence levels are the lowest in history, poverty is declining fast, you’re free to design your life completely tailored to your needs, and the average person today owns more cool stuff than a king or a queen did a few hundred years ago.

    But there are also a few big downsides in today’s world. Information overload. Uncertainty. Market complexity. Unrealistic expectations towards life and the tyranny of choice, to name but a few.

    There are so many things to choose from, there are so many things to do, own and experience, that you can quickly get carried away by wanting too much at the same time. You know, much like if you eat too much chocolate at once and then your stomach suffers.

    As I teach in my blog posts, you always have to be one step ahead of life. You always need to have a superior life strategy in place. The solution for the tyranny of choice in today’s times is to simplify your life. It’s one of the most freeing things you can do. Subtracting instead of adding things into your life.

    The best cure for the tyranny of choice in today’s times is to simplify your life.

    By simplifying life, you make more room for the really important things (health, relationships, wealth, a smile …), you increase your margin (the space between your work capacity and workload) to not drown in work, and life in general becomes so much easier. Even more importantly, by simplifying your life you can finally make room for happiness.

    By being exposed to all the ads, technology, numerous distractions, possibilities, options, products and changes, you can quickly start feeling overwhelmed. We all do. And it’s time for you to get ahead of this downside.

    In this blog post, you will learn how to simplify your life, so that you can get back the freedom, time, energy and other resources you need to live a happy and really productive life by being focused on the things that really matter.

    So let’s start exploring the options you have for simplifying your life.

    Less is more

    How you can simplify your life

    There are several ways of how you can simplify your life. They aren’t rocket science and they aren’t hard to do – rationally. You see, simplifying your life is an emotional challenge, not a rational one. The two strongest emotional challenges you have to face are the fear of missing out and the fear of losing something valuable to you.

    Simplifying your life is an emotional challenge, not a rational one.

    Because it’s an emotional challenge, you have to start with small steps and see that you can survive with one project less or by throwing away that thing you haven’t used for months. Things will get much easier when you simplify your life and doing it will make room for the important things.

    I was scared like a little puppy when I sold my car and when I ditched my mobile phone. But after experiencing all the benefits a few days later, all the fear was gone, and the benefits were so huge I was just asking myself why I hadn’t tried it earlier.

    Knowing that to simplify your life, you will have to deal primarily with your negative emotions and fears, here are a few options you have to start simplifying:

    • Automate – social media marketing, tasks, production …
    • Cancel – subscription, event, appearance, travel, visit, meeting …
    • Delegate – tasks, commitments, chores …
    • Delete – task, functionality, files, online account …
    • Donate – clothes, money, things you don’t need anymore …
    • Downsize – company, number of relationships, car, house …
    • Forget about it – issue, problem, person …
    • Let it go – emotional problem, emotional issue …
    • Minimize – workload, number of daily decisions, options …
    • Optimize – chores, processes, decision-making …
    • Opt out – newsletters, projects, commitments, meetings …
    • Refocus – reset priorities, define your True north …
    • Remove people from your life, functionalities, options …
    • Set limits – for mental masturbation, TV watching, the number of things you do simultaneously …
    • Throw away – clutter, things you don’t use…

    Above are listed 15 ways of how you can simplify your life, and I definitely haven’t listed all of them. It’s up to you to decide which option is the best for the different situations you have in life. The important fact is that if you don’t systematically and strategically simplify your life with all the options you have, you’re going to stay right where you are.

    Now let’s dive deeper into a few best options of how you can simplify your life fast by using above mentioned tools.

    1. Simplify your schedule
    2. Simplify your meals
    3. Simplify your style
    4. Simplify your relationships
    5. Commit to the minimalistic lifestyle
    6. Cancel projects you aren’t really committed to
    7. Use fewer apps
    8. Simplify your goals
    9. Simplify your soul
    10. Other ideas for simplifying your life

    Simplify your schedule

    You probably know very well that meetings, excessive socializing and spending too much time on email are the biggest time wasters for most people. Email can be real work, but only for rare occupations. For the majority, email and meetings are great ways to kill time and feel productive, even if you aren’t.

    Meetings, emails and urgent tasks are also a great way to make your calendar and working day super complex and super unproductive. Having hundreds of items in your calendar every week can make you feel like you’re a super busy person, but the feeling is often fake.

    It’s shocking how many people are lying to themselves with a fake feeling of progress, doing tasks that are urgent, but not important.

    To avoid a fake feeling of progress, you need to set clear outputs and metrics for your work and then make sure you’re really getting the important things done. In more than 90 % of cases, that means you have to simplify your working day and make room to work in the flow on the things that really matter.

    Simplifying your calendar can be really life-changing for your productivity and happiness levels at work. The tools for simplifying your calendar are timeboxing and setting strict limits.

    Timeboxing is a way to proactively set what you’ll spend your working time on in advance, while limits help you set strict boundaries to make sure that distractions and “urgent” tasks don’t make you stray from your plan.

    For example, you can simplify your calendar with a framework where you timebox two working flows per day, you plan to check email only once a day and you have a maximum of two 30-minutes meetings. An exception is Friday, when you may have more and longer meetings as well as spend more time on email.

    You may also have a no-interruptions Tuesday, when you do 4 working flows with zero distractions, no email and no meetings. In that way, you finish 10 working flows and focus on what’s really important. A strict schedule framework helps you more easily make decisions on when and how to spend your time. You can take everything even further by having no schedule at all.

    Here is one more alternative suggestion how to organize your calendar with timeboxing:

    Example of Highly Productive Calendar
    Here is an example how your calendar should be organized for maximum performance.
    Life experiment ideas

    Simplify your calendar by:

    Simplify your meals

    Food is an important part of life. You probably eat 3 to 5 times per day and it takes you between 20 – 60 minutes on average to prepare the meal and eat it (or even more). That sums up to 2 – 3 hours of eating every day.

    There’s nothing wrong with that. As I mentioned, food is an important part of life. Who doesn’t love food and eating. Not only do you need it for survival, it also gives you a feeling of safety, pleasure, and sharing a dish can be a great social experience.

    But it doesn’t have to get more complicated than that. In fact, there are many ways of simplifying your eating habits and still fulfilling all your nutritional and foodie needs. You can prepare a standard weekly shopping list. You can simplify the meals you cook. You can optimize how many dishes you use. You can standardize the types of meals you eat at different times of day.

    I have a few standard options for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. I try to keep my meals standardized, simple and within the caloric limits that fit my macro-nutrition plan. At first, I put some effort into experimenting with different options and finding the optimal meals for me (taste, preparation time, nutritional values etc.).

    Now, I update and add new options every quarter or so, just to make sure that my diet is constantly improving and things don’t get too boring. But I try not to spend hours and hours thinking about what should I eat for my next meal.

    Well, simplifying your meals doesn’t mean that you don’t try new dishes from time to time. It doesn’t mean that you don’t go to a restaurant and order something different and non-standard from time to time. You don’t want to deprive yourself of pleasures in life.

    Simplifying your meals only means that you decide to have the best of both worlds. On the one hand, you try to simply, standardize and optimize your life and on the other hand, you’re constantly experimenting with new things. Keeping the balance between the one and the other is usually more art than science, but with time and by listening to yourself, you start making the right choices.

    Life experiment ideas

    When it comes to food, here are some suggestions for how to simplify your life:

    • Standardize your weekly shopping list and have groceries delivered to your home.
    • Plan a standard weekly eating schedule and update it from time to time.
    • Eat meals more or less at the same time every day.
    • Have 5 – 10 favorite types of breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks that fit your macro-nutritional needs.
    • In each of your favorite restaurants, have a dish or two you always order.
    • Simplify your meals with fewer different types of food. You will consume less calories and food will digest more easily.
    • Optimize food preparation and how many dishes you use.
    • Constantly improve your diet and try new things from time to time.
    • Have healthy snack options when emotional hunger hits you.
    • Absolutely enjoy food, but try not to complicate your life too much with meal choices.

    Simplify your style

    Personal style is very important, it’s one of the power signs and the handiest option to express your taste, values and uniqueness. Nevertheless, having and managing good style takes time, effort and mental bandwidth. That’s why Steve Jobs wore the same clothes most of the time and why Mark Zuckerberg does it nowadays.

    On the one hand, expressing personal style is important, but on the other, it doesn’t make sense to spend hours and hours in front of the mirror and an open closet, choosing what to wear. Obviously it’s a lot harder for women and many professions (like modeling) to not invest heavily into a unique and impressive personal style, but there are definitely some limits you can set.

    What to wear

    Life experiment ideas

    Here are a few ideas for how you can simplify your style:

    • Find a few clothing brands that fit you well and shop only there.
    • Regularly take one day per month to update your wardrobe or do it only twice a year (like I do), but then make more purchases.
    • Get a stylist if necessary, to unburden your mind over whether you fit the new fashion trends.
    • Donate clothes you don’t wear. It’s probably half of your wardrobe.
    • Buy seven pairs of the same jeans, t-shirts and hoodies, and forget about your style.

    Simplify your relationships

    I’m a strong believer that you must have complex, multidimensional, deep and diversified relationships in order to grow and experience the richest life possible. At the end of the day, close relationships matter most.

    Simple relationships are definitely helpful when you want to relax and enjoy life, but they rarely bring out the best in you and push you to new levels of awareness.

    But there are definitely many ways of simplifying relationships in your life. First of all, if you follow the “no assholes, no bozos, no crappy people and no haters” rule, you’ll clean up your life in terms of relationships to a great extent. You can simply decide not to deal with that kind of people at all.

    You don’t think about them, you don’t talk about them, you don’t gossip about them, they just don’t exist for you. What a simple and effective solution.

    The second thing you can do is to choose your battles very carefully. Even by ignoring all the shitty people, relationships are often battles, because of a lack of outstanding communication, clashes of interest or many other things.

    Never go to war, not with others, but especially not with yourself.

    But there are battles that are important in your life, and others you often engage in only because of your ego. So simplify your life by choosing your battles very carefully. There are many battles you don’t have to engage in; you can simply smile or move on.

    In the same way, you can simplify your most precious relationships by initiating honest communication as soon as a problem appears. As soon as there is bad energy present, you can take a step towards transforming it into a positive one.

    A hug, a compliment, a nice word, sitting down and starting to communicate is always a good first step towards switching from the negative to the positive. By being proactive in relationships, you can simplify your life to a great extent.

    Life experiment ideas

    To sum up, here are the ideas for how to simplify your relationships:

    • Have fewer relationships and those ones really deep. There are six extremely important relationships to nurture in your life – spouse, family, friends, boss, coworkers, mentors. Put quality over quantity in these relationships.
    • Follow the “no assholes, no bozos, no crappy people and no haters” rule.
    • Don’t engage in battle with every person who doesn’t agree with you, has a different opinion or doesn’t know how to drive. Instead observe, listen and learn. Choose your battles very carefully.
    • Don’t have unrealistic expectations about relationships. Relationships are like glass, but the glass is already broken.
    • Be proactive in relationships. When a problem appears, solve it immediately, especially with honest communication. When engaging with people, always respond active-constructively.
    • Always be yourself and don’t lie at all.

    Simplify your life

    Commit to the minimalistic lifestyle

    The more stuff you own; the more stuff owns you. Every item in your life takes up place, time and energy. Having less of quality stuff is some of the best advice for simplifying life. A lot has been written about minimalism, so I won’t go deep into it, but there are a few key important points I have to emphasize when writing about simplifying life.

    You don’t want to go into the extreme of living an ascetic life, owning almost nothing. That’s often a sign that it’s too painful for you to deal with the material world. Don’t try to escape from reality. You need to be constantly fulfilling your needs to be happy and that also includes fulfilling materialistic needs.

    But that doesn’t mean you need to have a cellar full of junk, hundreds of clothes you don’t ever wear, dozens of clutter drawers, three cars, two TVs, five tablets and hundreds of souvenirs catching dust on your shelves. Be an emotionally healthy minimalist.

    The second important point is that the best way to live a minimalistic lifestyle is not to buy stuff in the first place. Wait a few days before making minor purchases and a few weeks for bigger purchases. You’ll be surprised at how often you change your mind and foresee that at the end of the day, maybe you don’t need that thing that you wished for so much.

    To simplify your life with a minimalistic lifestyle, it’s also very important to do regular cleanings, at least twice per year. Sell stuff, donate stuff, throw stuff away. For every item that you haven’t used for a month or so, ask yourself if you really need it. If you don’t, get rid of it.

    Life experiment ideas

    The main ideas for how to simplify your life with the minimalistic lifestyle:

    • Do regular cleanings every 6 months or so. Know that being a minimalist and throwing stuff away is more an emotional challenge than a rational one.
    • Avoid emotional buying. Wait a few days for minor purchases and a few weeks for the bigger ones, and observe if the emotional pressure to buy that things fades away.
    • Everything you want to buy, multiply the price 7 – 10x. That’s the real price, considering the opportunity-cost in 10 years if you had invested the money in an EFT with average market return.
    • By owning less, there are fewer items to use, fewer items to move, take care of, clean, do software updates or whatever. Remember, you don’t own stuff, stuff owns you.

    Always have the key objects in the same place

    Key holderThere’s a part of your brain called the hippocampus and it’s dedicated to remembering the location of things, if they are consistently in the same place. That leads to a simple tip for productivity and simplifying your life.

    Always have the things you own in the same place. Your keys, glasses, perfumes, whatever. This life hack will save you a lot of time and brainpower.

    Cancel the projects you aren’t really committed to

    Every year, there are probably a few projects in your professional or even personal life (redecorating the bathroom etc.) that you said yes to, but only because you somehow didn’t have the courage to say no. And now you aren’t meeting your commitments and you probably never will or you’ll just deliver a half-finished output.

    Gather the courage and be honest with yourself and others, and cancel all the commitments that you know you won’t deliver or will perform poorly; or that aren’t projects with the highest impact in your life or projects where your contribution is irreplaceable.

    Life experiment ideas
    • Simplify your life by not having too many projects, too many activities and too many commitments.
    • Work only on projects where your value added is high and you personally grow and learn.
    • Free yourself of the emotional burden, where you committed to something you will never deliver.
    • Simplifying life is always about saying no. Learn how to say no.

    Use fewer apps

    One of the best ways to really simplify your life is to use fewer applications – on your computer, tablet and mobile phone. There are so many applications to install and it’s so easy to do it, all you need is one click or touch of a screen. It takes a few clicks and you can have hundreds of apps on your devices.

    From 10+ chatting apps to 10+ news apps and then you have all the productivity apps, entertainment apps, the list is endless. Every app takes up space, time, energy and adds complexity to your life. And new popular apps are being released every single day, just begging you to install them.

    Instead of installing one more app, go into the opposite direction instead.

    Life experiment ideas
    • Limit yourself strictly to 30 or something apps. If you want to install a new app, you have to delete one that you’re currently using. It’s a tricky rule, you’ll see.
    • Have one app for chatting, zero apps for news, maybe one or two productivity apps and one to relax you.
    • Delete all the apps you haven’t used for more than a few weeks.
    • But digitalize as many things as possible. You can simplify your life to a great extent by organizing a digital brain for yourself.

    Simplify your goals

    If you’re trying to achieve too many goals at the same time or trying to implement too many changes at once, you usually implement none. Thus you can greatly simplify your life by reducing the number of goals and improvements you want to achieve in a specific time period.

    You absolutely need to have a life vision, you absolutely need a list of what you want to experience in life, what you will create and what an awesome person you will become – the best version of yourself.

    But not everything can be achieved at once. You have to strictly limit your work in progress (WIP) if you don’t want to overwhelm yourself.

    Limiting work in progress is one of the best ways to simplify your life.

    One big improvement and one big goal, together with a few small goals and improvements is probably the upper limit. Or here’s an even better idea – one of the best ways to focus yourself is to choose one life area you want to dramatically improve in one year and then work every day hard to really improve that area. Only one area, nothing more.

    In five to seven years, you can completely change your life with that kind of an approach. One year, one area. Just don’t try to follow too many goals at once. You have enough time, all you have to do is to be patient and work steadily on your priorities every day. Very limited priorities.

    Life experiment ideas

    Here are a few ideas for how to simplify your life regarding goals:

    • Have only one big goal and one big improvement you want to achieve at once.
    • Even better: make it a New Year’s resolution to take one life area to a whole new level and then focus on that area 100 %.
    • Don’t overestimate what you can achieve in a month and underestimate what you can achieve in a few years.
    • Limit the number of goals, work in progress, and don’t forget to enjoy life.

    Simplify your soul

    The last thing you can do is to simplify your character. I call it simplifying your soul, but that includes everything around you as a person. You can simplify your emotions by smiling most of the time; by enjoying the present moment and flowing through life like a river, calmly facing every obstacle on the way.

    To stop resisting and being flexible means greatly simplifying life.

    It’s easier said than done, but it’s definitely the most rewarding simplification.

    You can simplify your character if you stop being a perfectionist and start accepting a good enough state. You can simplify your soul if you stop being greedy, needy or stuck in any other negative emotion or excessive need. You can greatly simplify your life by focusing on what you have and not on what you lack.

    You can simplify your life if you stop torturing your soul, stop doing things that aren’t your true north, things that you don’t enjoy and got somehow stuck in. You can simplify your life by facing your irrational fears and making more room for love. You can simplify your life by accepting the truth no matter how hurtful it is and having realistic expectations towards life.

    Here is how you can simplify your life by simplifying your character:

    • It doesn’t have to be perfect, good enough is just good enough.
    • Keep the (inner) smile as your default emotion 80 % of the time.
    • Don’t overanalyze and overthink things, learn to live in the present moment.
    • Deal with negative thoughts and cognitive distortions with emotional accounting and cognitive reframing.
    • Stay lean and agile on how you will achieve your goals, stop resisting life.
    • Focus yourself on what you have in life, not on what you lack.
    • Accept the truth and stop asking yourself why life is as it is, instead learn to master it.
    • Face your fears and make room for love instead. There are many types of fears, but there is only one love.

    Keep it simple

    Other ideas for simplifying your life

    I think you got many ideas for simplifying your life. You know it’s better to implement one thing than to only read about 50 recommendations. So choose a few of your favorite life simplifications and make sure you really implement them.

    Life experiment ideas

    But if you’re really enthusiastic about simplifying your life to the full, you can find additional ideas below.

    1. Limit different communication channels you use (IM, paper mail etc.)
    2. Don’t read news at all
    3. Don’t go to conferences
    4. Rent instead of own
    5. Simplify the furniture in your rooms
    6. Have one day when you spend time all alone
    7. Don’t own a car
    8. Downsize a car or a home
    9. Create a system (for mail, paperwork, chores)
    10. Have fewer drawers
    11. Clean your desk
    12. Don’t multitask
    13. Don’t use your phone when you’re talking to other people
    14. Create a not-to-do list
    15. Every day, have three tasks you must do, forget the rest
    16. Enjoy doing nothing
    17. Simplify your RSS feed
    18. Move closer to your office
    19. Never be late
    20. Use email templates
    21. Use fewer words
    22. Take time away from technology
    23. Prepare yourself for a new day a day before
    24. Always go to sleep early
    25. Create more white space
    26. Slow down
    27. Don’t bitch, whine and complain at all
    28. Consolidate bank accounts
    29. Shop only once per week
    30. Work from home when possible
    31. Automate administration (bill paying, savings, etc.)
    32. Rearrange your browser’s bookmark bar (delete bookmarks)
    33. Mind your own business
    34. Don’t be overly sensitive
    35. Forgive
    36. Drink only water, tea and the green drink
    37. Ask for help when you need it
    38. Eat only healthy food
    39. Don’t act out of ego, search and mind the environment’s feedback
    40. Always tell the truth

    As you will see, by simplifying your life you’ll finally make room for the important things. And your stress levels will drop dramatically. You’ll finally get the opportunity to really live life.

    Simple living, high thinking.

  • Life metrics and how to define success in life

    Many people will tell you that it’s hard to define success, that you’re operating with a very subjective category. That’s not true. They probably just don’t like maths.

    Mathematics as a study of quantities, spaces, structure and change became so very complex and complicated that most people sooner hate it rather than see the beauty in the way it describes the world; including success in life.

    Basic maths, respect for numbers and, most importantly, measuring are the key tools for every individual who wishes to make progress in personal and professional life and measure real success. You simply have to love numbers and enjoy doing basic mathematical operations when it comes to life metrics and defining success.

    While I don’t understand complex math very well, life metrics and measuring success are the things I do love and master. It’s the only way to see your real progress in life, how successful you are and the direction you’re pursuing.

    If we want to define success and actually measure it, we need metrics. Numbers and basic math operations.

    This is how you should define success in your life and also regularly measure your success progress:

    Health Money
    • Exercise frequency
    • Potential progress of illness
    • Managing your body weak points
    • Regular blood test
    • Body composition (% of fat, muscle size)
    • Aerobic endurance (run a mile, VO2 max)
    • Muscular endurance (push-up test, plank test)
    • Muscular strength (one-rep max)
    • Flexibility (yoga poses)
    • Personal income statement
      • Earned income
      • Passive income
      • Portfolio income
    • Expenses
    • Taxes
    • Monthly plus/minus
    • Net-worth
      • Assets
      • Doodads
      • Liabilities (Debt)
    Career Relationships
    • Your company position (employment contract vs. organizational chart)
    • Public influence (number of interviews, public ratings)
    • Social media influence (Klout score)
    • Work enjoyment (from 1 to 10)
    • Professional connections
    • Your legacy (number of positive ideas that influenced local/global society)
    • Number of close friends you have
    • Time spent with the people you love
    • How much you do for your partner (massage, dinner, etc.)
    • How much you get out of a relationship (giving and receiving must be in balance)
    • How often you say I love you
    • How often you give a compliment to your partner
    • How often you make love
    Competences Mind/Emotions
    • Number of books you read
    • Number of seminars you visit
    • Domain knowledge you possess
    • Number of skills you master
    • Number of tech skills
    • Number of creative ideas you have
    • Your IQ
    • Your EQ
    • How well you are able to control your mind (your maximum meditating time)
    • Your daily Happiness index
    • Number of negative thoughts daily (with use of emotional accounting)
    • Dominating cognitive distortions
    • Number of new things you tried in life
    • Number of breathtaking experiences you have encountered etc.
    • Other metrics as part of your life strategy (countries you traveled to, number of languages you speak etc.)

    How you should measure your success in life? Compare…

    • Your current metrics on different life areas
    • Your past metrics on different life areas (past month, year etc.)
    • Don’t compare yourself to others too much (only healthy competition is okay I guess)

    If the table above is confusing, don’t worry. In this blog post I will explain everything in detail. In addition to that, I’ll try to explain why regaining the love for numbers can help you a lot with succeed in life. Even more, in this article you will learn:

    • Why you should love numbers and play with them at regular intervals (as the only real definition of success)
    • Why we’re usually afraid of measuring our real progress and success in life
    • How numbers can help you avoid the fake feeling of progress
    • What and how you should measure in your personal life as success factors (with example of metrics)
    • Other practical advice and a free document you can download (success metrics matrix)
    • Why you should compare your success and metrics only to your past results, not other people

    How to define success and life metrics

    Why we usually hate numbers as metrics of success

    In the field of management and business, it has long been known that you can only manage the things that you can measure. Every professional plan and monitoring strategy first needs the analysis of the starting point, then the goal or the final outcome, followed by a preordained path, keeping all the agility along the way, and last but not least the desired speed of progress.

    All subjective evaluation in that matter is futile. Firstly, because it’s incredibly hard to admit the truth of where you are to yourself and secondly because your brain and intuition are all too limited in their abilities.

    Numbers describe by far the most realistic state, everything else is just beating around the bush and avoiding the bottom line. Because numbers reveal the truth, that’s why people are usually afraid of them.

    It’s much easier to live a lie than to admit the truth to yourself. Even harder is to measure real progress and how successful you are when you go into action because progress is usually much slower than you expect and want it to be.

    Here is the first important lesson regarding life metrics and measuring success in life. The main reasons why we love to avoid numbers and measuring how good we are:

    • We hate to admit where we stand to ourselves
    • Progress is usually much slower than we expect
    • It’s much easier to lie to yourself that things are better than they really are
    • If you don’t measure things, you can enjoy the fake feeling of progress
    • Life is already tough, so why be even harder on yourself

    Numbers are the ones that force you to face reality and accept it. Only numbers can show how successful you really are. Number are the ones defining success. It may be emotionally tough, but thankfully we have a tool for measuring progress.

    You have to see what you get out of numbers and measuring. You may lose your illusions about life and where you stand and how successful you really are, but tricking yourself into believing that you’re improving something even though you’re staying in the same place doesn’t make any sense.

    Here’s an example. A tough one, but it makes a point. People love to avoid numbers, even when things relating to their health start to get really serious. Do you know how many diabetes patients don’t measure their blood sugar levels and watch their diet? Even when people risk losing their sight or getting their limbs cut off. Their body is in real danger, but they still tend to avoid numbers that could help them manage life better.

    Vanity metrics and fake definition of success

    Besides avoiding measuring altogether, here is another more or less emotional trap of defining and measuring success. When we start measuring, we all like to measure things that are giving us a feeling of progress and fake feeling of success.

    We like to measure things that make us feel good about ourselves and how successful we are, even if it’s only a fake progress or fake success.

    Therefore you must be very careful how you set your life metrics and how you measure success in life. With vanity metrics you can lie to yourself about how hard you’re working towards the goals, but you’re actually choosing the easier path that doesn’t lead to any real results.

    You’re running in a hamster wheel and at the same time measuring your false effort only to feel a little bit better.

    Here’s an example – a scale. A lot of people get excited when, after a few days of starving, they lose a couple of kilograms, but in reality they did a lot more damage than good to their body.

    Losing water and muscle mass that results in a scale showing less weight is an unrealistic display of progress. So you always need a real combination of metrics that reflect your actual progress and success. In your personal as well as your business life.

    In business, a CEO who only monitors how much money the company has in the bank and the income statement just before the year ends in order to optimize the profits is a very lousy CEO. With all the technology available and existing science on how to monitor business progress, from the financial, customer, marketing and other business functions’ aspects, it is very sad that someone would steer the business ship with extremely limited information.

    It’s no different in personal life. A successfully set system of measuring progress and success presents an incredible advantage in life, because it enables real discipline and consistent validated learning about yourself. And validated learning means faster progress because you get insights into what works best for you.

    Only real, actionable metrics can help you figure out which approaches lead to what you want the fastest and which approaches can maybe even bring setbacks in your personal case.

    Therefore, a part of your success metrics must always also mean experimenting in the search mode.

    If we go back to the previous example of a scale. You decided to lose weight and get fit. You don’t measure only how much a scale shows, but also your fat percentage, cardiorespiratory capacity, muscle strength and endurance and so on. With the right set of metrics you can change your workout and diet every few weeks and see what gives you the fastest progress.

    The bottom line is, you want to avoid vanity metrics of success because of the following reasons:

    • You don’t want to look rich (while having lots of debt); you want to be rich.
    • You don’t want you and your family to just smile for the picture but really be happy in everyday life.
    • You don’t want your scale to show a number as low as possible, but be really fit .
    • You don’t want to just have a job, but you want a job you love and make a good living out of it.
    • You don’t want to gossip in a bar about world news and happenings, thinking how smart you are; you actually want to read a book a week and improve your knowledge and competence level.

    Fake feeling of progress

    It’s right to grow fond of numbers and measure progress and success in both personal and business life. This is the only way to admit your actual starting point to yourself (where you are), make a plan of where you want to go while staying completely flexible on how you’ll get there.

    Loving numbers and metrics can also help you measure how fast you’re progressing towards being really successful in life and, equally importantly, enable you validated learning about yourself and the World (with experiments and tests that you do). And validated learning means having insights into how to shape your superior life strategy to make sure your progress is the fastest and to achieve your maximal potential and success.

    Numbers are the ones that show that you aren’t only doing meaningless work but rather forging results. When you get to numbers and bottom-lines, all bigmouths run away. When you look at numbers you know how successful you really are.

    When talking about personal development and success in life, there are five basic areas that you should regularly measure in one way or another. What and how you will actually measure greatly depends on your life strategy, but measuring and progressing on all five areas at some point will really help you to achieve your peak potential and be ultra successful in life.

    Here are the areas you should measure and greatly contribute to success in personal and professional life:

    • Health
    • Money and career
    • Closest relationships
    • Competences
    • Mind and feelings

    I should, of course, warn you that there is a big chance that you’ll be disappointed when you first start following metrics and figure out your real state and your starting point. As I mentioned, we love to lie to ourselves about where we stand in different areas of life.

    The way psychology works is that you often describe yourself to yourself a lot better than the actual state is. This is why we all like to avoid measuring success so much.

    Still, the sooner that you admit the truth to yourself, the faster you can make progress; the truth itself often motivates you for work. And it’s not all that dark. As you will see, you stand better in some areas of life than others.

    Now let’s dive a bit deeper into each of the five mentioned areas.

    Stay fit to have great sex

    Health

    Health is the first area where you need to make use of maths skills and measure your success in life. Much like you take your car for regular car service and much like financial statements show the health of your company, you have well-developed metrics that show how healthy your body is. A

    healthy spirit can only live in a healthy body and hundreds of pages have already been written on the benefits of a healthy lifestyle.

    There are a few key areas you should measure when it comes to your health:

    1. Potential progress of any illness you have
    2. Managing your body’s weak points
    3. Regular blood tests (one a year)
    4. Body composition (% of fat etc.)
    5. Aerobic endurance
    6. Muscular endurance
    7. Muscular strength
    8. Flexibility
    9. Other biofeedback you can gather with devices and are interested in

    In the past, I personally strongly neglected this aspect, but now I’m trying to slowly take care of my health a lot better. If you neglected your health in the past, progress is incredibly slow and demands a lot of iron-clad will, endurance and discipline.

    Statistics show that incredibly few people manage to lose weight in a healthy manner and even fewer have enough willpower to get fit.

    The state of your fitness level is often a lot worse than you imagined. One visit to the gym can quickly show that you’ve been neglecting your body for years and years. And if you decide to get into shape, it’s right that you get help from experts (personal trainers), together with the right metrics, professional work programme and consistent measuring of progress.

    Progress can be slow, but in a few weeks, you will see the first results, as long as you stick to the set training program. The good news is that the first results will motivate you to continue on your path of becoming fitter. This is how you become more and more successful regarding your health and fitness.

    If you’re a newbie in taking care of your health, please really do start with certified trainers who have good references. Otherwise you can do serious damage to your health, especially in the gym. Afterward, when you take care of strong fitness foundations with a personal trainer and you’re ready to exercise on your own, there are many apps (nutrition trackers, exercise trackers, etc.) that can help you measure your real progress.

    wealth growth

    Money and career

    By far the clearest benefits of measuring things in your personal life are shown in the financial field. Money is already connected to numbers by its very nature; it’s after all a piece of paper with a couple of numbers printed on it. And you either manage your money or you always have a lack of it. That’s usually the rule.

    Money is definitely one of the success factors in life. And you either manage your money or you always have a lack of it.

    There are two categories you should measure when it comes to your money and how successful you are:

    • Personal income – How much money you make and keep after your spendings
    • Net-worth – How many assets you own (after deducting all the debt)

    If you’re good at acquiring and managing money, both numbers should be increasing over your lifetime. There can be temporary situations when they don’t. You start your own business, an accident happens, you make a bad investment, a financial crisis comes, etc. It’s a part of life. Remember, being broke is a temporary state, but being poor is a state of mind.

    But only having enough financial literacy, together with proper measuring and management, can tell you if you’ve made a stupid decision regarding your money or were just unlucky; and how much damage has been done to your wallet and financial situation.

    Well, despite the occasional ups and downs, you want to be in as good financial health as possible. Thus you want to manage your money very carefully. If you want to do that, you have to measure.

    As with all the measuring, a consistent analysis of where you are financially comes first. You wouldn’t believe it, but many people don’t have a clue. I hope you are not one of them. Technology today enables you to track your money consumption and your net worth very easily. You should always know what kind of a financial shape you’re in and how your spending habits look.

    The interesting thing is that when you first start to track your spending habits, a few additional good things usually happen:

    • A consistent analysis quickly shows that you spend way too much money on certain things you don’t need. Expensive coffees, snacks, lumber, clothes, You get data about where and how you can save more money.
    • Additionally, budgeting, entering and tracking every individual cost contributes to you giving another thought to whether you really need something new to buy. As a result, you spend less money, especially on stupid things. You start to manage your potential emotional purchases At the end of the day, the main idea is that you spend less than you earn.
    • You start paying yourself first, which is the most important rule of successfully handling money. You become so intrigued by personal finance and managing your money that you want to take care of your investments before you spend your money on anything else.

    Even more demanding, but consequently also a lot more useful, is managing your wealth and seeing how your net worth grows. You can quickly realize that achieving decent yield with your investments is incredibly difficult, and increasing your wealth is a strenuous and long-lasting process.

    Actually, there are two paths to financial abundance in your personal life:

    • You take care of income explosion and cost control by starting your own business, for example, and consequently make so much money with one move that all your future financial needs are covered. It’s a risky business, but it can be done.
    • You slowly and carefully make sure that your savings grow and that you make good investments. This path is a lot more difficult if you don’t measure your progress regularly. But luckily a slightly bigger net worth every month means a lot bigger wealth in the long term, if you invest smartly enough.

    Again, it all depends on your life strategy. Nevertheless money is definitely one factor of success. Thus you should become really good at managing it.

    Career

    Besides money, career is also one of the life areas where metrics and management are a necessity. It’s slightly more difficult to measure career progress, because you also have to use slightly more subjective metrics, but it can be done.

    There are many metrics you can choose from and they greatly depend on your career goals. Examples are how much you earn, your position in the company, public influence, social media influence, how much you enjoy your work, the number of professional connections you have, etc. If your career is important to you, you can always find a set of metrics that show realistic progress in your career life.

    Stronger together

    Your closest relationships

    The quality and depth of every (intimate) relationship depends primarily on the number of hours you spend with the person enjoying positive, playful emotions. This includes planning, creating things together, following common goals, doing things you both love, relaxing and enjoying life and, in the case of intimate relationships, we can also add making love.

    The only time that really counts and contributes to the relationship quality and depth is the time you spend together full of positive feelings. Fighting or sitting in front of the TV doesn’t count. Everyone immediately knows when there is positive time spent together with other people and when there isn’t.

    Once you measure how many quality hours you spend with your intimate partner and other people you love, you can quickly get embarrassed. You realize how people who mean the most to you in the world you sometimes unintentionally neglect and consequently also don’t live the entire potential of the relationship.

    Many times, you may even have a false belief of how much quality time you spend with the people you love. But when you subtract sleep, working hours, commuting, housework, fighting, you may find that you spend way less time with people you love than you should. If you don’t measure, you don’t know.

    A simple analysis can show that things are even worse. After analyzing data, you may figure out that you spend more time with people that give you headaches in life and aren’t even close to you (like work, toxic relationships, etc.) rather than spending it with people who bring love, happiness and joy into your life.

    Maybe because you need emotional drama in life, maybe because you’re addicted to work, or for whatever other reason. It’s something you don’t want to do. Numbers help you manage such things.

    Measuring how you spend your time also shows your priorities and values. Only by actually measuring how you spend your time can you figure out what your values or priorities in life are and where they’re leading you. If your close relationships aren’t at the very top of your priorities, there’s a big possibility that you have lousy relationships in your life. And it’s hard to be successfull in life without deep and meaningful relationships.

    Besides measuring how much quality time you spend with the people you love, there are many other things you can measure. Here are a few examples:

    • How much you do for your partner (investment in a relationship)
    • How much you get out of a relationship (giving and receiving must be in balance)
    • How often you say I love you
    • How often you give a compliment to your partner
    • How often you make love
    • Number of close relationships you have in life

    Same goes for children. Children spell love as T-I-M-E. Spent quality time together. And not only children, same goes for all other relationships you care about.

    Now, the point of measuring is not to take all the romance out of relationships. It’s not like you have to write down every single thing you do and every minute you invest. It’s more about taking a week or two every once in a while to observe yourself and other people you care about, and becoming aware of what’s going on with your relationships based on fundamental relationship metrics.

    Are you getting closer to the people you love, or is there an increasing distance? Do you enjoy the time you spend with the people you love or are you constantly fighting? Love won’t miraculously solve your personal relationships; proper management (day by day) will.

    Understand the process

    Competences

    Now let’s move on to developing your personal competences. The first thing you should measure is how much time you spend on the idiot box, also known as the multi-media ad player or even better known as the television, and how much time you spend lost on the internet.

    They are the two biggest enemies of your personal development and progress and success in life. Including acquiring new competences. You’ll be surprised at how much of your time they take. Unless you’ve already dealt with these big time wasters.

    An average person spends at least 10 to 20 hours a week in front of the TV, programming themselves into a diligent consumer, wasting their precious life. The only people who get anything from the television are those on the other side of the screen.

    In the second step, compare the time you spend watching TV and browsing the internet to how many hours a month you invest in your knowledge and the development of your other competences – by studying, going to seminars, reading books and similar. You’ll also probably be surprised.

    An average person is close to zero investment in themselves, those who give their best maybe get a few hours a week. That’s very lousy considering how many competences and talents an individual can develop and how important they are in the knowledge-based society.

    Compare 0 or 1 hour of reading per week to 20 hours of watching TV. It’s a very bad ratio.

    Once you openly admit to yourself how little you invest in yourself and your progress, you quickly change your perspective on time wasters. Remember, you should invest into yourself, because it’s the best and ultimate investment that exists.

    There’s power in knowledge, and in the creative knowledge society, you strongly lag behind if you don’t invest into yourself. In the long term, whining about how tough and unfair life is won’t help at all, but competences undoubtedly will. With competences, the world is your oyster. Only with competences you can really succeed in life.

    Here is what you should be measuring when it comes to developing your competences and success in life:

    • How much time you spend reading (and other ways of developing competences)
    • Domain knowledge you possess
    • The number of skills you master
    • Your IQ (if you dare)
    • Your EQ

    Success in life

    Controlling your mind

    And finally the most difficult one. The quality of your life and how successful you are strongly depends on whether you control your mind or your mind controls you. That’s the basis of Buddhism and a few other, especially Eastern, religions and philosophies.

    The main tool of strengthening control over your mind is meditation. Measure how much time you can spend sitting in the same spot, focused on one point (or thought or your chakra) and you’ll find how strong your control over your mind is.

    If you don’t meditate regularly, you’ll be very disappointed. After a few minutes, thoughts will start forcefully entering your mind, parts of your body will start itching, you’ll feel incredibly uncomfortable.

    The less time you can do this for, the more your mind controls you. If something is not really itching you. ;) The more the mind controls you, the more negative thoughts this usually means. The more negative thoughts, the lower the quality of life. The more suffering in life, the lower the level of consciousness.

    The positive thing is that the more you meditate in life, the more you strengthen the muscle of control over your mind. And if you do all this with an inner smile and not with struggle, you’ll also be able to live a much happier life in general. You learn to carry the inner smile with you.

    Here is a simple measurement then. The longer you can meditate, the more control you have over your mind. The more successful you are in life. Now sit down somewhere quiet and test yourself. Face the ultimate metric of mind control.

    Taking feelings into account

    Your feeling are closely connected to your thoughts, so here’s the place where we should mention them. People love to neglect their feelings. The best way to give more attention to your feelings is by regularly observing them, listening to them, understanding them as well as managing them.

    The best way of listening to your feelings better is the so-called Happiness Index. Every morning or evening you mark how you feel on a scale.

    In the next step, you try to figure out why you feel the way you feel. If you figure out that negative feelings are the consequence of negative thoughts (which they usually are), then it’s right that you face negative thinking.

    The best way for this is the so-called emotional accounting as one of the central tools of cognitive psychology.

    To sum up, here are a few things you can measure when it comes to your mind and emotions:

    • How well you’re able to control your mind (your maximum meditating time)
    • Your daily Happiness index
    • Number of negative thoughts daily (using emotional accounting)
    • Dominating cognitive distortions

    You can’t do everything at once, and the first steps

    Not everything can happen at once. Setting the goal that you will integrate all the life metrics at once and measure how successful you are is unrealistic. You have to make progress step by step, preferably by focusing on one area.

    Too many demanding goals lead to you doing a lot of things badly, which is the same as doing nothing. So step by step, gradually and slowly start with basic metrics in one area and then add new metrics of success. Once you master one field, you move on to the next one.

    It’s by far the best to start with health, since improving health always very positively influences all other areas. But you can also choose the area where you’re currently facing the most problems or you’re doing the worst.

    Once you use measuring and life metrics to integrate new behavioral patterns into your life, area after area, you can also notice the incredible transformation of the overall quality of your life. All the effort that you put in slowly pays off.

    You must never forget that with time, the hard road becomes easy and the easy road becomes hard. Choose the more difficult road that leads into a brighter future of your life. And the more difficult path is the one supported by actual metrics and measuring real progress.

    Start smart

    When it comes to success, compete only with yourself

    Please take another look at the table below. It should be immediately obvious to you why success is not a subjective category at all and that you can indeed measure it, but the only thing that makes sense when measuring your success level is to compete with your previous self.

    Compare your position now with your position a month or a year ago. That’s how you should measure your success; make sure you’re becoming better version of your self step by step. Make sure you improve a little bit every day and every month and every year. That’s how you will become successful and great.

    But by comparing yourself too much to other people, you’re doomed from the very beginning. Why? Because there will always be someone better than you are, in every single area of life. Other people should be a kind of a reference point for you and people who perform better should motivate you to become even better version yourself, but when you compare yourself to others too much, you can quickly start putting yourself in the victim and self-pity mindset, ruminating how life is unfair.

    For example, you can’t compete with someone who inherited millions in assets, if you’re starting from financial ground zero. You can’t compete with someone who has been an athlete their whole life, with the right sportsman DNA and incredible muscle memory, if you didn’t ever exercise. You can’t compare yourself to a monk meditating for hours after your first meditation.

    Compare your metrics with the ones from the previous month or year. Compete only with your previous self. That’s how you can measure your real success in life.

    Health* Money**
    • Exercise frequency
    • Potential progress of illness
    • Managing your body weak points
    • Regular blood test
    • Body composition (% of fat, muscle size)
    • Aerobic endurance (run a mile, VO2 max)
    • Muscular endurance (push-up test, plank test)
    • Muscular strength (one-rep max)
    • Flexibility (yoga poses)
    • Personal income statement
      • Earned income
      • Passive income
      • Portfolio income
    • Expenses
    • Taxes
    • Monthly plus/minus
    • Net-worth
      • Assets
      • Doodads
      • Liabilities (Debt)
    Career** Relationships*
    • Your company position (employment contract vs. organizational chart)
    • Public influence (number of interviews, public ratings)
    • Social media influence (Klout score)
    • Work enjoyment (from 1 to 10)
    • Professional connections
    • Your legacy (number of positive ideas that influenced local/global society)
    • Number of close friends you have
    • Time spent with the people you love
    • How much you do for your partner (massage, dinner, etc.)
    • How much you get out of a relationship (giving and receiving must be in balance)
    • How often you say I love you
    • How often you give a compliment to your partner
    • How often you make love
    Competences* Mind/Emotions*/**
    • Number of books you read
    • Number of seminars you visit
    • Domain knowledge you possess
    • Number of skills you master
    • Number of tech skills
    • Number of creative ideas you have
    • Your IQ
    • Your EQ
    • How well you are able to control your mind (your maximum meditating time)
    • Your daily Happiness index
    • Number of negative thoughts daily (with use of emotional accounting)
    • Dominating cognitive distortions
    • Number of new things you tried in life
    • Number of breathtaking experiences you have encountered etc.
    • Other metrics as part of your life strategy (countries you traveled, number of languages you speak to etc.)
    • * Internal asset – Can grow only linear. Learn more
    • ** External asset – Can grow exponentially. Learn more

    Below, you can download the table I call the life success metric matrix (PDF), completely for free:

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    Enjoy numbers and monitor the progress that you’ll definitely be proud of! And keep track of this blog, because in the future, a lot of time will be devoted to the actual metrics of each individual area of life. This is the only way to really measure your success.

    Homework

    Now you know how to define success and measure it, so take action

    Now it’s time for homework. Knowledge without action is useless. So here’s what you should do:

    • Choose one life area (health, money, career, relationships, competences, mind/emotions). If you don’t know where to begin, start with your health or wherever you lag behind the most.
    • Set some basic metrics of success for the chosen life area. Below is the summary of metrics you can start measuring as the beginning in different life areas.
    • Set a system of how you will measure your progress (Excel, apps, frequency,) and set all the necessary reminders that will help you keep consistency.
    • Also, prepare a list of books you will read in the chosen life area, so you will acquire new knowledge and upgrade your set of metrics when you’re ready. Use the rule that you always go straight for the best knowledge.
    • Measure your progress at regular intervals.
    • After every measurement, make sure you do self-reflection and make a decision on what you will stop doing, what you will start doing and what new experiments you will try.
    • Enjoy your progress and be proud of the discipline you’re keeping. Not many people can pull that off.
    • Never compare yourself to other people. Only compare your progress to your previous self.

    Do you want to be more successful in life?

    Read more about the massive success formula.