Blaz Kos

self-discipline

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  • A year without a schedule

    This year, I will have a year completely without a schedule. I got this time management idea from the famous Venture Capital investor Marc Andreessen.

    He got the idea from Arnold Schwarzenegger or, to be more exact, from a book called A Perfect Mess, which explains how having no fixed schedule contributed to Arnold’s success.

    It’s one of the quite radical and messy productivity techniques. But it can give you great results.

    The main simple idea is that you don’t commit to any meetings, appointments or activities at any set time or date in the future. The idea is pretty crazy and radical, probably impossible for most standard and structured jobs, but if you can afford it, it can dramatically raise your productivity.

    Having no schedule and no calendar enables you to work on the most important things or on the thing that interests you the most every single day. Even more importantly, it enables you to maximize your work in the flow or in the zone, the most productive godlike state, where you just learn, create and enjoy life.

    You can also listen to your gut instinct about priorities every day. You can easily make themed days with no interruptions, and spend the whole day learning, writing, coding, designing, researching, brainstorming or working on a project you like. If you also turn off your phone and close your e-mail client, you can really have a whole day without any interruptions and distractions.

    When people call you to set a meeting, you have a few options after explaining that you don’t keep a fixed schedule:

    • Sorry, I won’t be able to join a meeting, simply not interested
    • Sorry, I won’t be able to join a meeting, is there any other way I can contribute
    • Do we even need to have a meeting (or can you just let me know now what it’s about)
    • Let’s meet right now (if it’s really important)
    • Call me the same day you plan the meeting and I’ll let you know if I’m available
    • Call me 30 minutes before the meeting and I’ll let you know if I can join

    As I mentioned, few people in the world can afford such a time management technique and be completely without a schedule or a calendar. Even if you’re the boss and make decisions for how to spend time with stakeholders and your team, it’s close to impossible to pull off such a thing, if not even harder than for other non-executive jobs.

    You have to be in a really unique position with a unique kind of job to pull that off. Since I’ll be in monk mode the whole next year, I can definitely do such a thing. That will be one of my experiments.

    Well, to stay open-minded, you can also have a less radical approach with this technique. You can use the “no-schedule philosophy” only to better focus yourself and to more easily say no to commitments and appointments that aren’t the best use of your time.

    On the other hand, you can still keep a schedule of really “must do” appointments. But to be as productive as possible, you try to group all of the appointments on the same day. That way, you maybe can have 3 or 4 days without a schedule and 1 or 2 working days full of appointments.

    But to be as productive as possible, you try to group all of the appointments on the same day. That way, you maybe can have 3 or 4 days without a schedule and 1 or 2 working days full of appointments. Here is an example how you can organize your schedule if you can’t afford to have no schedule at all.

    Example of Highly Productive Calendar
    Here is an example how your schedule should be organized for maximum performance.

    I will maximize this technique in 2016 and see the results. My hypothesis for the experience is, to quote Marc Andreessen, “there is nothing more liberating than looking at your calendar and seeing nothing but free time for weeks ahead to work on the most important things in whatever order you want”.

    I’ll let you know if that’s also valid for me.

    Homework

    Homework

    There are definitely improvements you can do in your schedule to be more productive and to keep more completely free blocks of time for maximizing creating, delivering and capturing value. Here’s what you should do:

    • Open your calendar and analyze the past few months.
    • Look at every meeting and analyze whether the meetings were really necessary, if you had to be present, if the work could have been done in a more efficient way etc.
    • Brainstorm on how you could group your meetings to have as much free time in your calendar as possible.
    • Timebox a no-interruption day(s) where you forbid yourself to schedule any task or appointment.

    The bottom line is, try to clean up your schedule as much as possible. If you’re super lucky, you may schedule a period in your life completely without a schedule. If not, try to group appointments on the same days in order to have as many free days as possible to create in the flow. If that doesn’t work, try to keep at least one working day as a no-interruptions day.

    But really, stay brutal and precise when cleaning up your calendar.

  • Formula for success cracked

    Do you want to be really successful in life? I mean really, really successful? I can share with you the formula for massive success. But please don’t tell it to anyone else. Just kidding. In fact, the formula for success is extremely easy and simple. It’s nothing people didn’t already know centuries ago. And you know it too, on a very intuitive level.

    Here it is:

    Success = Explosion + Control

    What? I know it’s not what you expected, so let’s dive straight into the practical examples that will show us what this formula really means.

    • Do you want to be rich? The formula for getting rich is (active, passive or portfolio) income explosion and keeping your cost and bad investments under control.
    • Do you want to a have six-pack? The formula is very simple. Exercise explosion and appetite control – quantity and quality of the food you eat.
    • Do you want to be lucky in love? The formula is, again, very simple. Sexual market value explosion (SMV) and committing to your best fit – investing your best into a relationship every day and expecting the same from your partner. SMV explosion and commitment control.
    • Do you want to be educated and resourceful? Take care of a learning explosion (reading, observing, experimenting etc.), control the quality of what you consume (learn from the best, forget the rest) and immediately implement the acquired knowledge. Quality learning explosion and implementation control.
    • Do you want to have a successful career and be respected by the society? Fight for something you care about (a mission with an emotional explosion), and persist through CRAP – Criticism, Rejections, Assholes, Pressure. So the formula for career success is purpose explosion and persistence through CRAP. Purpose explosion and persistence control in short.
    • Do you want to be a successful entrepreneur? The formula to be a successful entrepreneur is customer explosion (innovation, marketing) and outstanding management in all other business functions (finance, human resources, operations etc.). Customer explosion and management control.

    As you can see, the formula for massive success is very simple to understand. But not to follow.

    One part of the equation (the control one) is extreme self-discipline. Self-discipline based on commitment, focus, persistence, hard work, immediate implementation, pushing yourself, and constantly making the right small decisions, day by day. It’s also about having enough inner assets to manage the perks of success. Every expense, every meal, every minute you have in a day, you have to make the right decision that will lead you towards your goals, not away from them. Especially once you become successful.

    The second part of the equation (the explosion one) is based on getting a few key big decisions right in life – which markets to choose, selecting a supporting environment to operate in, finding your perfect fit, innovating, creating, delivering and capturing high enough value for the markets, using the leverage of smart work, and being surrounded with the right people.

    You need to reach both parts of the equation. Only discipline and self-control aren’t enough. Only hard work is never enough. You also have to be in the right place at the right time with the right people and with the right idea. You have to work smart. And vice versa. Being in the right place at the right time is not enough. You also need to put in all the sweat and long hours. You have to make sure that nobody outworks you. Because the competition is stiff.

    Here’s another interpretation of the formula. Success is the opposite of how people mess up their lives. You mess up your life with a few big wrong decisions (who to marry, where to work etc.) or with everyday small bad decisions (what you eat, how you spend money etc.) or a combination of both.

    So if you want to be successful in life, you have to get a few key decisions right, and then follow them up with everyday hard work. It’s that simple. The problem, of course, is that success is a long and demanding process you have to follow, it’s full of apathy and battles with yourself. And you also need a lot of luck to get to a real explosion. Atomic explosion. But that’s also why you’re here on this planet. To show us all the best possible versions of yourself. And fortune favours the brave.

    Formula for success
    Formula for success = Explosion + Control

    Why is it then so hard to really succeed?

    As we learned, the formula for success is fairly simple: success equals “explosion” plus “control”. Self-control or discipline is the part of the equation where you work hard, invest consistent effort, follow the process, put in all the sweat and long hours. Explosion, on the other hand, means being in the right place at the right time, with the right people and the right idea.

    Anyway there’s not much to tell about self-discipline that hasn’t already been written. If you want to be rich, you have to watch your expenses and bad investments, if you want to be fit, you have to be careful about what and how much you eat, and so on. Consistently, day by day. If you can’t stay disciplined at anything, seeds of greatness are probably just not in you. Staying disciplined is hard, but that’s still the easier part of the equation.

    If you can’t stay disciplined at anything, seeds of greatness are probably just not in you.

    Success explosion is the hardest and trickiest part of our equation. Success explosions are the reason why it’s so damn hard to succeed. Success explosion is the part that we usually don’t understand well enough, and that’s also why so few people really massively succeed, so let’s focus more on that.

    Different potentials of explosions

    So you want to become extremely successful in life, an outlier of humankind. You regularly invest in yourself, you sacrifice a lot, you resist instant gratification, you work hard and you hustle. You invest in the process day by day. You can read that you have to be patient with success on every single personal development blog, and you know that very well and you are patient. But your gut is whispering that only patience and severe discipline won’t be enough; far from it. Unfortunately, your gut is right. Here’s why.

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    The society measures success by the outer resources that were more or less self-made. Money, fame, sexual market value based on fitness, status, power (note: this article is not about what success really is, but how to achieve what the society defines as success). If you imagine yourself as extremely successful, you probably imagine yourself as having 1000 times (or whatever the number is) more of outer resources. 1000 times more money, 1000 times more power, 1000 times more fame, 1000 times more mating options.

    Okay, first things first. In order to acquire outer resources, you need to develop enough and the right combination of inner resources or competences – mindset, knowledge, experiences, skills, etc. You need inner resources to produce value, and the more value you produce, the more external resources you can acquire. If you know how to code, you can produce a lot more value than if you only know how to photocopy.

    Inner Assets Outer Assets
    Knowledge Wealth
    Skills Sexual Market Value
    Experiences Power
    Creativity Fame
    Health People
    Values Technology
    Self-Discipline Land
    Intelligence Transportation
    Attitude Goods
    Passion Electricity
    Strategy etc. Political capital etc.
    Potential for small explosions Potential for big explosions
    Control

    With more inner resources, you can create more outer resources

    That’s easy to understand. The more value you can provide, the more valued you are. More inner resources usually mean ability to create more outer resources. It’s also easy to understand the advantages of inner resources over outer resources. Inner resources can’t be spent like outer resources can be. You can spend money, but you can’t spend your intelligence. Inner resources present bigger security, since nobody can take them away from you, neither thieves nor markets. Inner resources are impossible to transfer from one person to another. They’re a part of you as an individual. They can be given to you (intelligence, talents, genetics etc.) or acquired (knowledge, fitness, cunningness etc.).

    But here’s the big catch. Inner resources have one big disadvantage. Inner resources can be acquired only in a linear way. You can’t really acquire inner resources with exponential speed. By acquiring inner resources at slow speed, you’re also very limited in acquiring outer resources. It takes years to acquire enough inner resources and the right combination of them to really massively succeed.

    There are, of course, different speeds of personal development and different speeds of acquiring inner resources (linear change, rapid change or leveling up your game), but they’re still more or less linear. There’s a very limited number of hours in a day for you to read, exercise, brainstorm, work etc. These explosions don’t have potential to be atomic explosions. It’s true that all hard work accumulates in time and that’s why you need patience. You need to follow this part of the equation to achieve massive success, but it’s not enough.

    Working out for a few years will give you nice body. Reading the right material day by day will keep your mind sharp. Life experiences will lead you to do things better. If you’re patient enough, you can have all that. But that’s it.

    Only with discipline and by acquiring inner resources, you won’t be ultra-successful. Because your body can’t be 1000 times better than it is now, you can’t hold 1000 times more information in your consciousness than you’re holding now, and so on. Again, don’t get me wrong, you’ll be much better off with everyday hard work and patience. Even more, you need a critical amount of inner resources to get to the success explosion, but it’s not enough for massive success.

    Let’s say that. Your inner assets (resources) are very limited and hard to increase. You increase them with everyday discipline and self-control. Because it’s hard to increase inner assets, you can only improve yourself in a linear way – with everyday hard work, patience and without too big expectations.

    Consequently, your outer resources will also grow in a very limited way. You need enough inner resources to start acquiring greater quantities of outer resources at all, but that’s far from enough to massively succeed.

    Success graph

    If you want to grow exponentially, you need leverage, you need to transcend the speed limitations at which you can acquire inner resources. But what can grow exponentially? Ironically, outer resources are the ones that have the biggest potential to grow exponentially.

    Inner resources can be acquired only in a linear way. Ironically, outer resources are the ones that have the biggest potential to grow exponentially.

    So if you want to be really successful in life and achieve massive success, you have to employ outer resources as your leverage.

     
    Small explosion potential and enablers of big explosions:

    • Learning
    • Exercising
    • Other inner resources

    There are only a few core outer resources that can grow exponentially:

    • Leveraged assets (or money)
    • Massive Transformative Purpose (or ideas)
    • Attention and engagement (or fame)
    • Connections (or people)

    And two accelerators of exponential growth:

    • Technology
    • Right place at the right time and inherited inner assets (beauty, talents etc.)

    Money

    The most obvious outer resource that can grow exponentially is money. Money can work for you 24/7 and there are almost no limits to how fast your wealth can grow. You can’t run 1000 times faster in 5 years, but you can have 1000 times more money with good investments in 5 years; even in one year if you are an outstanding investor.

    Ideas

    Ideas have the potential for exponential growth if you poison enough people with them. From social to business ideas, they can bring you money, fame and status. But only ideas are not enough. You need something called Massive Transformative Purpose or, in other words, your idea must positively impact millions of people if you want exponential growth.

    Attention and engagement

    Fame can grow exponentially once you reach the tipping point, if you know how to attract the attention of mass media and how to engage other people. With social media, everyone has access to massive attention and engagement of other people.

    Connections

    Your work can grow exponentially if you attract the right ultra-talented people into your life as part of your team and, of course, if you manage to build influential connections. You can attract the right kind of people with ideas (they identify with the cause), money (you buy their skills) or attention (they follow your leadership).

    But your connections can only grow exponentially if you also empower new leaders within your network. All other non-crucial work can be done by renting staff on demand.

    And here are the two accelerators of exponential growth:

    Technology

    Technology brings all previous outer resources together. Today, technology is the best way to spread ideas, gain attention and engagement, build connections and make money. More and more new massively successful people (world billionaires) are from the technology field and even if they aren’t directly from the industry, leveraging technology is usually an important part of their success.

    Right place at the right time

    You know the story of a poor young girl who’s sitting sad in a bar when a modeling agent notices her beauty and makes her famous rich. Or that of a misfortunate person winning a reality show and his life changing forever. Extreme beauty, artistic talent and other inherited inner resources or being in the right place at the right time can lead to exponential success growth.

    It can happen if you’re chasing the right opportunities or if someone notices your talent. But that’s more luck than a carefully orchestrated success process or a formula you want to follow. You may buy a lottery ticket every once in a while, but it shouldn’t be your main strategy for succeeding in life.

    Bonus: Love

    This one is a slightly crazy one and it’s not even an outer resource, but I bet you can love yourself and life 1000 times more than you love yourself and life today. Awesome feelings and life experiences are definitely 1000 times better than the average ones. You can exponentially grow your love towards yourself and life, I guess.

    It may be worth it to mention that outer resources also have limitations, and so exponential growth slows and even stops at some point. Even if you become superhuman, you can only influence 7+ billion people, accumulating wealth starts getting harder and harder when you are a billionaire, and so on. But when you reach that point, I’m sure you already consider yourself successful enough.

    It’s obvious why it’s so hard to succeed

    Well, here’s your answer. First of all, acquiring inner assets is already damn hard. You need to consistently invest in yourself, be extremely self-disciplined and have yourself under control. Remember patience, daily struggle, stamina, resilience, not giving up too quickly, following the process day by day. Usually having enough and the right combination of inner assets only enables you to get to the second part of the equation – big explosion. And you also need enough inner resources after the explosion, so that you don’t go crazy and mess things up.

    But acquiring and managing outer assets is even harder. Getting to atomic explosion is close to impossible. Your control is much more limited. So many variables are out of your influence. You have to be extremely adaptable, fast, creative, different and better. And talented and lucky.

    You need to better understand markets, media, people, money management, and you need to know how to create things that people want. Not what you want. What people, markets want. First, you give to the society and then the society gives to you. Achieving that is extremely hard.

    And the competition is crazy. You’re the only one who wants to take care of yourself and invest into your future, besides your mother :). On the other hand, there are 7 billion people who have ideas and want to make money and get attention and outperform you. 7 billion. Now compete with that.

    Asset Type of asset Growth potential
    Health Inner asset, small explosion Linear growth
    Knowledge Inner asset, small explosion Linear growth
    Skills Inner asset, small explosion Linear growth
    Experiences Inner asset, small explosion Linear growth
    Intelligence Accelerator
    Beauty Accelerator
    You need enough and the right combination of inner assets in order to produce outer assets.
    Money Outer asset, atomic explosion Exponential growth
    Ideas Outer asset, atomic explosion Exponential growth
    Attention and engagement Outer asset, atomic explosion Exponential growth
    Connections Outer asset, atomic explosion Exponential growth
    Technology Accelerator
    “Lottery tickets” Accelerator
    Focusing only on inner assets isn’t enough. You also need to be good with outer assets.

    Formula for success: Lessons learned

    You definitely have to invest into the process and hard and smart work every day in order to acquire as many inner assets as possible. With more inner assets and the right combination of them you’ll also be able to acquire more outer assets. In addition to that, you must be sure to put your inherited inner assets to the right use. For example, you can waste your intelligence or use it as an accelerator for learning.

    But here’s the catch. To be massively successful as soon as possible, you have to focus your efforts on outer assets that can grow exponentially as well. The better you can manage and leverage outer assets, the more successful you can be.

    If you want to be extremely successful:

    1. You must have viral ideas that have the potential to positively impact millions of people.
    2. You must know how to attract the best people and how they can attract even more talented people. You need your own community and crowd that spreads your message.
    3. You need outstanding money skills – earning, managing and investing ones. Money is actually the outer resource that can grow the fastest, with the fewest physical limitations, since it’s only an idea.
    4. You must know how to attract the attention and engagement of mass media and how to sell, in other words.
    5. You must know how to use and leverage technology to your own advantage.
    6. From time to time, it maybe even makes sense to buy a “lottery ticket” and chase completely crazy opportunities (out of reach jobs, auditions, opportunities in foreign countries etc.) and who knows, maybe luck will strike you. This point is just optional and you shouldn’t rely on it.

    Having the first five skills is probably the winning combo. Having a few of them also probably works very well for massive success. But focusing only on the inner assets means limiting yourself to linear growth and small explosions; because inner assets are very limited with physical and biological boundaries.

    Nevertheless, be aware that if you don’t invest at least in inner resources and personal growth, you stagnate in life and sooner and later become a zombie. So it makes sense to invest in your inner resources anyway, even if you aren’t chasing massive success. But if you want to be really massively successful, you have to transcend that.

    You can only extend and transcend the limitation of acquiring inner assets with purpose to create more outer assets with viral ideas, passionate communities, media attention, outstanding money skills and being good with technology.

    The only exception in the picture is love. Probably because love is above everything. Whether you want to be massively successful or not, make sure your love grows exponentially.

    One more important note. What can grow exponentially, can also shrink or fall exponentially. Having too many outer resources or focusing on acquiring them is a double-edged sword. Explosions are fire. You can cook yourself dinner with it or burn yourself badly. So you must know what you’re doing. You must have enough inner resources to properly manage explosions. You probably know that many ultra-successful people become drug addicts, waste all their money etc.

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    Here’s the good news to end with. If you acquire enough inner resources over time, before getting to a massive success explosion, you can most often manage the dangers of leverage and handle success much better. You don’t get kicked out of the center. You don’t start abusing your massive success. That’s why having enough inner resources and an explosion of the outer resources is the winning combo. As we said, success equals explosion (of inner and outer assets) and control. You need both.

    Massive success formula = explosion (of inner and outer assets) + control

    So take care of explosions in your life by being focused on acquiring inner and outer assets and make sure you stay disciplined when they happen. That’s the simple formula for massive success. After that it’s only a matter of time. It may take you a few months, if you’re super lucky, or a few years or even a few decades. Who knows. But it’s definitely worth it. You can do it and you deserve it. Now get to strategizing and hard work. I believe in you.

    Homework

    Take quiz



  • Anti-Kaizen

    You can find a lot of information about Kaizen, the basic Kaizen rules as well as more specialized Kaizen rules for teams on this blog. Now let’s look at the same topic from a slightly different perspective. Let’s talk about the so-called Anti-Kaizen. It’s a toxic mindset and includes all the limited beliefs that prevent any kind of improvement and progress.

    Before we go to Anti-Kaizen, make sure you remember all the Kaizen rules. The best thing you can do is to download and print the rules and stick them to a visible place in your home or your office. When stuck, look at the list, read the rules, and you will refocus your brain on the path towards the solution, and hopefully stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s the best way to avoid any kind of Anti-Kaizen behaviour.

    You can download the documents here:

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    Now let’s go to the most frequent Anti-Kaizen beliefs.

    Negative beliefs that prevent any improvements

    There are 13 quite frequent beliefs and toxic behaviors that prevent any kind of progress and improvement. You’ll find that kind of behavior in many toxic and unproductive environments, where the status quo is the only constant; and most people in an organization like that are nothing but zombies. Well, even the status quo is only a mirage, because if you aren’t going forwards, you’re going backwards. There is no status quo in the long run.

    Here they are, Anti-Kaizen beliefs and situations:

    1. Lying to yourself
    2. Victim mindset and being stuck in an emotional cage
    3. “There’s no need for improvement” mindset
    4. Lack of time
    5. Firefighting and enjoying adrenalin rushes and dramas
    6. Lack of confidence in self and others and lack of courage
    7. You want to change others, not yourself
    8. Getting in trouble for failing or pointing out the problems
    9. Not following up on ideas
    10. Giving up too quickly
    11. Solving problems with additional administration
    12. Hoping that others will do it for you and waiting for better times
    13. Jumping to solutions too quickly

    Lying to yourself

    If you lie to yourself about where you are, there is no need for improvement. Many times, we like to picture ourselves or even the world as a whole in a much more beautiful scenario than it actually is (or, in some cases, much worse than it is, if the necessary improvement is to relax, for example). But in general, people are very indulgent towards themselves, lying where they really stand, and great critics towards others.

    • You can lie to yourself that you live healthy just because you regularly use olive oil
    • You can easily lie to yourself by only looking rich and not really being rich
    • You can lie to yourself about how productive you are every day, but in reality only work a few hours on the things that matter most
    • You can lie to yourself that your job is pretty okay, but in reality you suffer a lot and so on

    If you want to make any improvements in your life or in any organization, you first have to know where you are. And be extremely honest about it. Today, that’s quite simple with all the data available. Never lie to yourself. Always be honest and seek the truth. Know where you are and where you want to go. Then start improving yourself or an organization step by step. For example, don’t only look rich, actually be rich.

    Don't Lie To Yourself

    Victim mindset and being stuck in an emotional cage

    The victim mindset is one of the most common reasons why people get stuck and never start improving themselves, their life situation and the environment around them. It’s very easy to blame others, from your parents to the government, market trends, life in general, and so on. And many times, you have every right to do so.

    But it doesn’t help anyone. Whining, bitching, complaining and feeling sorry for yourself never bring results, improvements or more happiness, only more sorrow. You only live once and if being stuck in an emotional cage is preventing you from improving and growing, start dealing with your past, your emotions and all the cognitive distortions. It’s the best option you have, no matter how difficult your past was.

    There is always a move you can make in your life towards a better position. After you stop being a victim and take full responsibility for your future, you will easily find a move you can make. Don’t be a victim, take control over your life once and for all, and start improving. If you focus on problems, you’ll only get more problems in life, and if you focus on solutions, positive things will start happening to you.

    “There is no need for improvement” mindset

    You can have a growth mindset or a fixed mindset. If you have a fixed mindset, you assume things are as they are and there’s nothing you can do about it. If you believe that there’s no need or no room for improvement, you won’t improve. Why would you?

    Nevertheless, studies show that a growth mindset is one of the top personality traits of successful people. The most successful people constantly improve, even when they’re on top; because there is no top. In addition to that, the organizations that constantly learn and improve are the ones that are winning in business.

    The conclusion is therefore pretty simple. If you want to be successful in life, you need to grow, you need to evolve and you need to constantly improve. It’s one of the reasons why you’re here on this planet.

    “I/We have always done it like that” is the most evil sentence ever.

    Lack of time

    Many times, people work so hard that they don’t even take the time to look around and analyze if they’re digging the right hole. Until it’s too late. A lack of time should never be an excuse for not brainstorming and implementing improvements. You always have to work smart as well.

    Therefore, the AgileLeanLife Productivity Framework has three levels of planning – the strategic, tactical and operational level. You have to see the woods and you have to see all the trees. You must always take enough time to plan and make improvements in where you go and how you do things on all three levels.

    There is a very simple test that shows your speed of improvement. How many things are you doing differently now than you did six months ago? If the answer is none and you’re only working hard the same way you did half a year ago, because you don’t have the time to improve your working methods, it’s time to change something.

    If necessary, make sure that your first improvement is that you start dealing with improvements at all.

    Firefighting and enjoying adrenalin rushes and dramas

    People who are prone to deadline adrenaline rushes and dramas in relationships rarely take the time to stop and analyze how to improve. The frequent reason for that is the existence of an internal conflict. Improvements take away the drama, unproductive adrenaline rushes and other toxic behaviors. And you simply can’t focus on improvements if you need to feed your emotional monsters.

    An important part of improving yourself is to become happier and more satisfied, productive, relaxed etc. Firefighting and playing a drama queen means going in the opposite direction. The solution is simple. If there is any kind of drama, anxiety and constantly chasing deadlines in your personal or company culture, it’s time to start improving fast.

    Not to be too extreme, everyone finds themselves in such a situation from time to time, but if it’s a part of the culture or how a person operates and it happens more often than not, then that is big Anti-Kaizen behavior.

    Lack of confidence in self and others and lack of courage

    As I mentioned many times, it’s not easy to implement new changes, even if they are positive ones. We are all afraid of change on the biological level. Nevertheless, you simply need the courage to face your fears and start improving. The first step is to have more confidence in self and others.

    Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. In the same way, doubt kills more improvements than failure ever will. Skepticism, cynicism, excessive sarcasm, drama, negativity, indecisiveness etc., they all kill creativity and potential for improvements. Believe in yourself and believe in people around you. There is nothing to doubt about, to be honest. Your growth and personal improvements (or the improvements of family or company culture) are the best possible investments.

    Improve Or Not To Improve
    To improve or not to improve?

    You want to change others, not yourself

    As cliché as it sounds, change always begins with you. First you have to understand (system, process, environment, relationships, history etc.), then you have to ignite the spark in yourself with a great vision and a powerful mission and only then change and adjust yourself to the right vibration in coherence with the system to start influencing other people and implementing change.

    Implementing change is always a carefully and surgically orchestrated process that starts with changing yourself and adjusting your actions to face the least resistance from environmental forces.

    Why do you have to change yourself first? Well, it’s easy to blame others. It’s easy to see flaws. It’s much harder to come up with good solutions. It’s even harder to analyze the system and pull the right moves to implement a change step by step in a very non-invasive way. Everyone wants to change the environment, shape it more to their liking, but nobody wants to change themselves first. But that’s the only place where the change really begins.

    Before you can start implementing change, you have to find common ground with the environment and then build on it. To find the common ground, you have to first change yourself.

    Getting in trouble for failing or pointing out the problems

    If you judge others when they fail or make a mistake, you’re doing a very Anti-Kaizen thing. But there’s a catch. Usually people never openly criticize failure, of course. They do it with gossip, silence, sarcasm, mockery or some other type of intolerant emotional behavior. That kind of behavior means people get in trouble for failing and making mistakes.

    A whole different thing is if you show curiosity for why something didn’t work, if you’re interested in what has been learnt and in the new ideas for how improvements could be made. Because Kaizen people have to feel emotionally secure and not be afraid to fail and make mistakes. You show people that it’s okay to fail with words and emotions.

    Make sure people don’t get in trouble if they show you the problems or if they fail when trying something new. It means they care and that they have the willpower and probably many good additional ideas for what to try.

    If you get in trouble for failing or showing the problems, explain to your boss what the Kaizen philosophy is and how it can help the organization. Try to find a way for moving the system towards the philosophy of constant improvement. But if it’s not worth your energy, if you don’t care enough, find a different system that will appreciate your ideas and suggestions, and vice-versa, a system where you will really care and have the power to test and implement new ideas.

    Not following up on ideas

    Ideas are a dime a dozen. Testing ideas and executing the best ones is pure gold. For implementing change, you simply have to be a doer, not only a talker. You must have a culture of immediate implementation and execution. Not following up on ideas is one of the most Anti-Kaizen things you can do besides having a victim mindset.

    There are several reasons why there’s usually no follow up on ideas. Either the ideas are too complex or completely unreachable, or there are strong emotional issues that block the implementation. Going back to basic Kaizen rules and having an honest conversation is the best cure for a situation like that.

    Giving up too quickly

    Implementing change is no easy task. It not only takes motivation and creativity, but also a lot of patience and a long-term view. Changing the culture of an organization can take years, for example. In reality, implementing change is not very different from going on a diet. You have to work hard and make sacrifices now, for benefits that are far far away; while eating sweets gives you instant gratification and the punishment in excessive fat and bad health seems far away. That’s why it’s so hard to go on a diet.

    The reason why it’s so hard to implement any change is the same. Because you have to put in the effort now for results and benefits you will enjoy sometime in the future. But if you stay in the status quo, you don’t have to put in any effort and the punishment comes sometime in the far-away future.

    With time, the hard road becomes easy and the easy road becomes hard. So you must have a long-term view for every change you plan to implement. Never give up too quickly. Even when you lose motivation, remember that tomorrow is a new day to start over. And don’t overestimate what you can achieve in a few months and don’t underestimate what you can achieve in a few years.

    Solving problems with additional administration

    Many times, when we identify the root problem, additional administration in the process seems like the right solution; but in reality, it rarely is. If you take that kind of an approach, you can soon find yourself drowning in paperwork and everything becomes counterproductive. Never let additional administration be your best solution, you can always find better solutions than additional paperwork.

    Let’s get back to a practical example of the 5 Whys technique and how it can help you focus on the process that was presented in the Kaizen rules for teams. It’s very simple: you describe the problem and start asking yourself “why”.

    • The vehicle will not start. (the problem)
    • Why? The battery is dead. (first why)
    • Why? The alternator is not functioning. (second why)
    • Why? The alternator belt has broken. (third why)
    • Why? – The alternator belt was well beyond its useful service life and not replaced. (fourth why)
    • Why? – The vehicle was not maintained according to the recommended service schedule. (fifth why, the root cause)

    After the last “why” and discovering core problem, one of your first solution may be, let’s add a checklist or some other form of paper to the process. Or an engineer should sign dozens of forms on what s(he) has done, and so on. Many times, our initial ideas include additional bureaucracy, who knows why. But that’s rarely the right solution.

    Hoping that others will do it for you or waiting for better times

    An interesting thing can happen. When markets go up, they can solve many problems so you don’t have to improve at all. Or sometimes you get a rock star in your team who solves many of your problems and, again, you don’t have to improve. Sometimes a few problems die on their own. It can happen, problems can be magically solved without you making any improvements.

    But hoping that others will implement changes and improvements instead of you, or waiting for better times that will take care of everything makes no sense at all. Because sooner or later, new challenges will come and afterwards, you may be in an even worse position. The main idea of improvements is that you become better and more competent and capable. You want to develop abilities to tackle problems better, provide more value, and so on. Inner assets or competence, if you want, are one of the most powerful securities you can have in life.

    It’s also one of the reasons why you’re here on this planet. You don’t want to be deprived of the feeling of satisfaction when you win a battle with yourself and change to a better version of you. The feeling is awesome.

    Jumping to solutions too quickly

    Jumping to conclusions without any real proof is one of the cognitive distortions that happens to people very often. Jumping to solutions too quickly, without any testing, experimenting and measuring, is what often prevents real change to the better. It’s not that hard to come up with a solution or ideas for what to do. But it’s usually quite hard to come up with a solution that works and can be realistically implemented with sustainable effects.

    You need a systematic and scientific approach to implementing improvements. You need to measure your progress. You need to use real data, not just your hunches and intuition. Just coming up quickly with a solution and thinking that you’ve done your job is definitely an Anti-Kaizen approach; after all, you’re breaking rule number one of not lying to yourself.

    You must not wait for the perfect timing or the perfect solution when implementing improvements, but on the other hand, acting without thinking is damaging as well.

    The key takeaway

    The roots of Anti-Kaizen behavior lie in either the wrong mindset or toxic emotional behavior. Therefore, you have to deal with both of them – mindset and emotions. Rationally, you have to see constant improvement as the common sense you simply have to follow in order to achieve your peak performance. That’s usually the easy part of the equation.

    The emotional part is much harder. But there is no other way than to work on more self-confidence, facing your fears with courage and dealing with laziness and procrastination or whatever holds you back from becoming the best version of yourself. Sometimes playing it safe is no different from being locked in a safe. Upgrade your mindset, face your fears and start improving yourself.

    Kaizen rules!

  • Personal Infostructure

    Infostructure is a system and a process of how you consume, manage and share information. In the creative society, a quality infostructure has become as important as a quality infrastructure. What you feed your mind with matters a lot. A quality (good) infostructure will help you become more creative, competent and resourceful. A bad infostructure, on the other hand, is the biggest time waster ever, killing your creative potential, making you into an obedient consumer and a zombie – something that you definitely don’t want to become, but may happen if you don’t put any effort into building an outstanding infostructure for yourself.

    What you will learn

    In this post, you will learn about the following key things:

    • The difference between infrastructure and infostructure
    • Why infostructure is as important as infostructure in the creative economy
    • Why infostructure is like fire when it comes to technological advancement; nothing more than a tool with which you can either cook yourself dinner or burn yourself badly, depending on how you use it
    • How infostructure can lower the quality of your life by killing your creative potential, turning you into a consumer and a zombie
    • How bad infostructure can become the biggest time waster ever and how to avoid that
    • How you can build yourself an outstanding infostructure that will help you be incredibly more resourceful, creative and competent
    • How I built my own outstanding infostructure and how you can do it as well

    Infrastructure vs. Infostructure

    You probably know what infrastructure is and even if you don’t, you definitely use it all the time. Infrastructure are the basic physical and organizational structures and facilities needed for the operation of a society, be it a country, state, city, county or even enterprise. The main parts of an infrastructure are buildings, roads, power supplies, utilities, sanitary systems, and so on.

    There’s definitely a big correlation between well-developed infrastructure and efficient productivity. Without sufficient infrastructure, the society is bogged down with higher operating costs, structural production problems and everyday frustrations, consequently suffering from a big competitive disadvantage, especially on the global markets. There’s no doubt that better infrastructure means a better quality of life, higher productivity and efficiency, and generally a better environment for business.

    I’m sure you pay a lot of attention to where you live, how you organize your home and your office, what car you drive, how far away your favorite facilities, like shops, are etc. You definitely want to have electricity, water and other housing supplies all the time.

    With all the loans, mortgages, rents, housing and transportation costs, you probably spend an extensive proportion of your paycheck for the infrastructure you use (your private and public part of the infrastructure). It’s logical that you do, because a better infrastructure brings a better quality of life, it helps you create more value for the markets, and so on. With a bigger paycheck, people often first invest into better infrastructure.

    But we live in the creative economy and post-information age, where is not only infrastructure that’s important. In developed countries, adequate infrastructure is more or less taken care of. So infrastructure isn’t as important as it used to be for competitive advantage and success. You can see that very well in the business world. The best businesses don’t compete with better facilities, plants, equipment and manufacturing machines anymore. The best businesses today compete with creativity, innovation, intellectual property and new business models.

    You’ve probably heard that Uber, the world’s largest taxi company, owns no vehicles. Facebook, the world’s most popular media owner, creates no content. Alibaba, the most valuable retailer, has no inventory. And Airbnb, the world’s largest accommodation provider, owns no real estate.

    If the competitive advantage of a business can fall on the CEO’s toes, it’s not real competitive advantage in the creative economy.

    In developed countries, you can rent infrastructure when you need it and as much of it as you need it. In some cases, all you need is a laptop and a good connection to the internet, and you can compete on the global markets. Don’t get me wrong. Infrastructure is very important. It’s hard to be creative if your toilet isn’t working, if it takes you hours to get to the office or if you’re freezing in your apartment. But in today’s world, creativity, innovation and information are as important, if not even more important, than outstanding infrastructure if you want to compete, create, deliver and capture (make money) as much value as possible.

    Your Personal Infostructure

    What do I really mean by personal infostructure?

    If in the contemporary creative economy, innovation and information are as important for creating value as infrastructure is, one of your key competitive advantages is a system and a process of how you consume, manage and share information. That’s your personal infostructure.

    Infostructure is a system and a process of how you consume, manage and share information.

    The main idea of a good infostructure is that you acquire as much knowledge as possible as quickly as possible. Knowledge is nevertheless an important part of your competence level. Knowledge means knowing a certain field. It means you have a complete set of information that you imprinted into your consciousness. And you can do things with it – you can create and deliver value. A good infostructure also helps you continuously acquire knowledge. It’s called life-long learning based on an informal education.

    Even more. Good infostructure definitely contributes to your creativity. Creativity is nothing but the ability to perceive the world in new ways, find hidden patterns, make connections between seemingly unrelated phenomena, and generate solutions. With more information and knowledge, you can more easily connect the dots never before connected . The more right information and knowledge you have (depth, complexity, interdisciplinary …), the more creative and “aha” moments you can have in your life. Because you see connections others can’t see. Because they lack the same combination of knowledge.

    Knowledge is power, there’s no doubt about it (actually, applying knowledge is power, but more about that later). Good infostructure means more knowledge, and more knowledge means more power. That’s why you should pay a lot of attention to your personal infostructure if you want to be successful in life. Good infrastructure as part of the outer assets (money, status etc.) is simply not enough anymore. You also need lots of inner assets (competences), and a superior infostructure can help you with that.

    But there’s one big trick regarding infostructure. The society (with market demand) has already built one for you; much like it has also built most of the infrastructure. With one big difference, which is that the purpose of the public infostructure is to program you into an obedient and stupid consumer. That’s why I call it bad infostructure, the one you’re pushed into by default.

    Bad personal infostructure

    As I mentioned, bad infostructure is unfortunately the one that society has already built for you. More than 99 % of people probably use this default infostructure regularly, which consequently heavily contributes towards to living unhappy, average or even zombie lives. If you do what other people do, you get what other people have; and that’s usually an average life. And you don’t want that. So what is the default bad infostructure that society has built for you? Well, there are a few core media used in the default infostructure that are programing you into an obedient consumer. In addition to that, they more or less help you only with mental masturbation and are big time wasters. Here they are:

    Television and radio

    TV is nothing but a “multimedia ad player”, since you more or less only watch ads that are programming you into a good consumer. The content is usually no better than ads. Reality shows, watching other people play sports, watching people who live the life you probably want to live, be it the leading superheroes in a movie, saving the world, or the main actors themselves having fun filming and making millions. You’re obviously on the wrong side of the screen.

    Here’s another trap. Maybe you haven’t turned on the TV for decades and you can tell yourself that you don’t watch it. But on the other hand, you still watch movies and TV shows, just not on the TV. We know video on demand now, we have Netflix, iTunes etc. Or you can even go to the movie theater too often. So you don’t have to sit in front of the TV to watch “TV”.

    It’s pretty much the same with channels like Discovery, History and other “educational” channels or even MTV. They play nothing but semi-reality or reality TV shows. You either watch other people travelling, cooking, exploring or doing other amazing things or, on the other hand, you watch them get humiliated in front of a few judges and thousands of people so you can feel a little bit better about yourself. No thanks.

    Don’t get me wrong. A good movie or an episode of a TV show can be very relaxing from time to time. And we all need some relaxation; we aren’t robots. But spending hours and hours in front of the TV watching commercials is definitely not the life you want to live. Wake up.

    Radio is not much different from TV. You listen to thousands and thousands of commercials and stupid talk shows. You maybe hear a song you like once a day, after listening to hours of useless content. On the main radio stations, you can listen to the same bad news every half hour (it’s like it’s really programing you to be negative), and most interviews and discussions have zero valuable content and are only there to entertain the masses. I don’t remember the last time I heard something useful on the radio. And if you want to listen to music, you have iTunes and other music streaming services.

    News (print, online) and most magazines

    The daily news gives you a sense of connection with the world as well as a sense of urgency and importance. You feel like you’re in the flow of global happenings. In addition to that, we’re all prone to drama in life, from the evolutionary point of view. Drama and negative information raise your adrenalin levels and make you feel more alive. They make you feel like you’re running from a virtual tiger. Something important is happening, you better pay attention. Not. Most news pieces are negative because your mind loves negative information. You don’t want to fill your mind with negative information. It will only bring the negative into your life.

    You can’t live a positive life, with a negative mind. You can’t have positive mind if you constantly consume negative information.

    Additionally, news is history. It already happened. You have zero influence on that. And everybody reads it, so it brings zero competitive advantage into your life. Even if you spend hours and hours catching up on tech news, startup news or whatever, the value added of that kind of information is really low. If you want to co-create the future, you need to empty your mind, make some creative free time, read some heavily useful stuff or level up your skills and focus on your goals. Only your goals, nothing else. No drama.

    The good thing (somehow, I guess) is that you don’t have to worry at all: even if you unsubscribe yourself from all the news, the most “important” (the most negative or shocking) news will definitely reach you sooner or later. Because everybody shares it, 99 % of people are little beacons of negative information.

    On mobile phone

    Social networks

    Social networks have become an important part of our lives. People spend hours and hours on social networks. For most people, it’s extremely hard to escape from being on the most popular social networks. This means at least Facebook and Twitter, but I can probably also add Tumblr, Pinterest, Instagram and many others to the list. It won’t get any better in the future. There will be even more websites fighting for your time and attention.

    Now ask yourself honestly, will hours and hours of looking at pictures of what your friends and acquaintances are doing really help you progress in life? Definitely not. And to be realistic, Facebook and other social networks aren’t even close to showing the real lives that people are living. People are only posting beautiful moments, the few peaks they get in their lives. Behind these beautiful moments, every human being must face challenges, disappointments, struggles and other burdens.

    At the end of the day, looking at the good moments of your Facebook friends makes you feel like you’re the only weirdo who doesn’t enjoy life to the full. Not a perception you want to program your mind with. And a big distraction from your own goals.

    Pub debates

    An important source of information for everyone are also their friends. That’s why social networks are so popular. Because people love to “stalk” other people and they’re so interested in what other people are thinking or doing. The same mental masturbation effect often also happens in real life, especially in pubs, coffee shops and similar locations. People love talking about politics, big world problems and negative events, and we can also add gossiping, criticizing, whining and complaining to the list.

    A debate among a group of friends is rarely about brainstorming new ideas, challenging beliefs, pushing each other to the next level, looking for positives in life, and so on. I see that only among really successful people who sit at the same table, without any bozos present. People you spend time with are an extremely important source of your information and therefore also an important source of your motivation and creativity. You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind. In the same way, you can’t live a positive life being surrounded by negative people and participating in stupid pub debates.

    Numerous trashy internet sites

    Like every technology, internet has brought a lot of good, but also a few bad things into our lives. Just to mention a few good ones: internet has enabled us higher productivity, faster access to quality information, new ways of communication, and so on. The bad, on the other hand, is especially the fact that internet also gave everyone very easy access to shitty content and shitty information. With a single click. People are spending hours and hours on the internet browsing stupid internet sites.

    From watching porn, arguing on forums, posting hateful comments and reading tabloids to watching “funny” vines, browsing through thousands of social network statuses, and so on. Well, at the end of the day, most people consume on the internet what they used to consume only with TV, daily news, magazines, gaming consoles and pub debates. Now with the internet, everything is intensified and accelerated.

    You simply don’t want to have that kind of an infostructure in your life. Much like you want your toilet to work in your home, have nice roads without holes and bumps when you drive to your job, like you want lights in your office when it gets dark and a nice working car, why wouldn’t you want to get the same from the infostructure that feeds your mind and consequently also defines your quality of life, happiness level, competence level and potential?

    It doesn’t make any sense to fight for outstanding infrastructure and not pay any attention to your infostructure.

    Outstanding personal infostructure

    Now we know what the bad default infostructure that society has built for you looks like and how it influences your life. Something that 99 % of people use and something that’s very hard to avoid in everyday life. Why? Because people like it (demand) and everybody profits from you using the default bad infostructure. Producers, advertising companies, media houses, even your country and your neighbors (so they don’t have to be envious), everybody profits. Except you.

    Therefore, you have to put an enormous amount of energy, will and self-discipline into changing the default infostructure to a better one and regularly using it. The good news is that people have also built and created the good part of the infostructure, available to you with one click. Unfortunately, the masses just don’t use it as much as they use the mainstream media, so it takes a little bit more effort to surround yourself with the right content. That’s the beauty of today’s world: you have choices and you have the power to decide what you’ll consume. Fast food or quality stuff.

    To be fair, there are temptations every hour of every day, fighting for your time, attention and money, trying to make you to go back to the default bad infostructure. But you have to be strong. You have to make the right choices most of the time (let’s say 95 %). You can never completely run away from a bad infostructure (there’s always a movie or a TV show you really can’t miss). But you can definitely build yourself an outstanding system for consuming and managing information that will help you achieve your goals and become the best version of yourself.

    Here’s how your infrastructure should look like:

    Books and carefully selected blogs and magazines

    By far the best text source of knowledge and information are still books. You should read at least one book per month. Even better if you read one book per week. Some people read one book per day. You can take a speed-reading course and join a “one book per day” club. I should do that. An average person spends hours in front of the TV every day. Imagine if all that time were spent on reading top books.

    I guarantee that if you read a quality book per day, then you will definitely become a lean, mean, creative knowledge machine in a year. And it never takes a year to get obsessed with reading. In a few months of regular reading habits, you’ll automatically start reading a book every time someone in the family turns on the TV, simply because you’ll see and experience all the benefits of reading.

    What about other reading material? Well, the general rule is that you acquire a lot more useful knowledge by reading a quality book than by reading dozens of blog posts. Nevertheless, some blogs are pure gold (like this one :). You should find those rare ones and follow them. The same goes for magazines. You can find magazines of really high quality in some industries and for some topics, while for others not so much.

    Always follow the rule to go for the best (knowledge) and forget the rest.

    Before you buy a book and start reading it, check the reviews and the table of contents. Make sure the book is really something that will help you advance in life. Maybe you can read a summary of the book and then decide. The idea is that by reading a book, you “download” an upgraded software version of a specific topic to your brain. You must get creative ideas and learn new and better ways of doing things in life. And then do them. Apply them. Only reading will probably only bring you better language skills.

    Reading a book

    Audiobooks and carefully selected podcasts

    We all have very busy schedules. Consequently, it’s often hard to find the time to sit down and read in peace. Well, if you really want it, you can make it. Anyhow, audiobooks are also a good way to accelerate your learning. You can listen to audiobooks when you drive, wait in queues or take a walk. You can simply buy and download audiobooks to your smart phone, and listen to them when the opportunity pops up. There are more and more audiobooks available, no matter the topic you want to listen to and get educated about.

    Much like the comparison of books and blogs, the same goes for podcasts compared to audiobooks. There are only a few podcasts that are really good and useful. The reason for that is probably the fact that most podcasts are free. And as we said, because people love to consume useless information (demand), other people (producers) are producing tons of useless content (because as a producer, you have to listen to the markets). Therefore, you have to put in the effort and break through all the bad content in order to find the best one.

    MOOCs and educational videos

    Massive online open courses have become an extremely important source of learning for successful people. The good news is that you can find many quality courses, even from the best universities like Harvard, MIT and the best worldwide experts from many industries and life areas. You can follow the selected material at your own pace, you’re usually connected online with a group of peers who try to acquire the same knowledge as you, and so on. In short, it’s a great way to learn from the best.

    The bad news is that the majority of people who subscribe to MOOCs never really take and finish the course. They only subscribe and participate in a lecture or two at the most. Some research shows that only around 2 % finish the courses they subscribe to. Well, to be honest, it’s not easy to finish an online course. It takes effort, self-discipline, motivation, there’s no teacher to motivate you etc. It’s much easier to turn on the TV and watch a reality show than to listen to an open course. But those 2 % are the ones who do advance in life while other people stagnate. It’s what separates successful people from average ones. You have to decide for yourself. The trick is that the hard road becomes easy with time and the easy road becomes hard.

    Besides MOOCs, you can find many motivating and educational videos online. When you have only 20 minutes to do something useful or when you’re waiting at the doctors, you can plug in your earphones and watch a talk online that will help you with your goals and progress in life. There’s so much useful content online, you just have to put in the effort to find it and avoid all the crap.

    Seminars, lectures and carefully selected conferences

    An important part of your infostructure should also be seminars, lectures and a few carefully selected conferences that you visit as an individual as well as for business purposes (you should only work for a company that’s prepared to invest into your knowledge). Sometimes even advancing in formal education makes sense. The main problem with previously mentioned MOOCs is that you can get bored easily, especially if you’re not an introvert. Being in a group of people with the same goal and with dates and times set in advance in the real, not virtual, life helps a lot with motivation and self-discipline. And you can make new business and personal connections more easily.

    This is why you should make offline seminars and lectures an important part of your infostructure, especially if you encounter problems with self-discipline behind a computer. Conferences can also be useful sometimes, but more or less for motivational purposes, networking and having fun. If you go to too many conferences, you often start wasting your precious time. Here’s why.

    A mastermind group and a mentor

    The most important part of your infostructure should be your mastermind group and your mentor(s). Your mastermind group are all the people you ask for advice and go for important information from your industry, about life, and so on.

    Your mastermind group are your trusted coworkers, hopefully your boss, your ambitious and educated friends as well as the best lawyers, doctors and consultants you can still afford. People that help you grow, progress and advance in life.

    Part of your infostructure system should also be your personal mentor. You should always have a personal mentor. Someone who pushes you, helps you to focus, does introductions to help you expand your professional network and directs you to the right information resources. Instead of gossiping in the pub and complaining about life, brainstorming about your next move in life with the right mentor could change your life forever.

    Group discussions (online and offline)

    Besides all the hateful comments on the internet and useless forum arguments, there’s also a positive side to group discussions. You can find many useful forums and communities online and offline. They should be an important part of your infostructure.

    We love to belong and being part of a community enhances your desire and discipline to learn and acquire new knowledge. Therefore, online forums and offline meet-ups can be a great way to learn and to meet new people with the same interests as you. Again, you have to very carefully select where to join and where to invest your energy. If the quality of information starts to decline, you shouldn’t have any emotional problems finding new better groups.

    Other resources

    There are, of course, many extremely useful internet sites, eBooks and other resources you can find online (and offline) with only a few clicks. If you have high enough standards for what kind of content to consume, you’ll be fine. Just remember that you become what you consume. So go for the best and forget the rest.

    The process of consuming information

    The sources (specific media) where you go get information and how you get it (type of media) is a system you set as part of your infostructure. As already mentioned, even if you don’t build your own system consciously, your environment (family, society etc.) has built a system for you. The other part of the equation is when, how often and for how long you consume information as well as how you manage what you’ve read. It’s called the process, and the purpose of the process is to help you with self-discipline and to stay away from the default bad infostructure.

    Here are the general recommendations for the process (and also system) you should set for yourself for acquiring and managing knowledge:

    • Go for the best (knowledge), forget the rest. Carefully chose what you consume. Help yourself with reviews, summaries etc. before you really bite into anything. Sometimes the best knowledge is a best-seller book, other times a blog post you find after hours of browsing.
    • Especially consume information that you can apply to your life and then apply it. At the end of the day, knowledge is not power. Applying knowledge is. When reading material, you should get new creative ideas or ideas for how to do things differently.
    • If possible, do a mind map or structure the new acquired knowledge in some other way after reading specific material. Connect the new acquired knowledge with what you already know. Write down the best new ideas from the material and try to come up with your own new ideas.
    • If you start reading something and you figure out it has no value for you (nothing new), stop reading it. It sounds funny but for most of people, it’s not an easy thing to do. We have the natural psychological tendency to finish what we start. For example, you rarely leave a theater, even if the movie sucks. Don’t do that. If the material sucks, move on. Don’t move on because a page loads for a second longer than you expected, but because of the bad quality.
    • Don’t read the material you already know. People have a tendency to read the stuff they already know over and over again. Because it’s easier. Don’t do that. The exception is if you’re refreshing your knowledge or revising material.
    • Read materials from very different areas you’re interested in and try to combine the knowledge in new ways. That’s called creativity. Don’t consume material only from one topic or industry. Be a curious human.
    • Try to structure the most important knowledge you have in your own presentations, blog posts, lectures etc. Teaching others is a great way to reinforce and structure the knowledge you possess.
    • Consume more difficult subjects when you’re well rested and lighter material when you’re already tired. You have to push yourself, but don’t push yourself over the limit. An important part of acquiring knowledge is that you enjoy it.

    And a few recommendations regarding the limits of the process:

    • Read something positive and motivational the first thing when you wake up.
    • Don’t go to sleep if you haven’t read at least one page that day.
    • Read for at least one hour per day.
    • Read at least one book per month.
    • Take at least one day per month only to upgrade your competences. Mark a no-interruptions day in your calendar and focus just on learning.
    • Go to one educational seminar or do one MOOC at least once every six months.
    • Go to one motivational conference at least once a year, especially for motivational purposes.
    • A good way to learn is while you earn. Your work should always be slightly more demanding than your skills, so you have to learn while you work. Also make sure to work at a company that’s prepared to invest in your knowledge, if you aren’t your own boss.
    • Limit mental masturbation (consuming useless content, social networking etc.) to 5 hours per week at the most.
    • Sharing is caring. Share and spread good information. People desperately need it.

    Well, reading can also mean watching, listening or participating in a group discussion.

    Sharing information

    An important part of infostructure is also sharing information, not only consuming it. The first rule is that you should produce only quality content. The world is already polluted enough with shitty content. So no hateful comments, no gossiping and talking about reality shows.

    You should become a human beacon of positive and quality information and knowledge.

    The second rule is that sharing is caring. If it’s not exactly a trade secret, you should share quality information with people. There’s this karma rule regarding knowledge. The more knowledge you share, the more knowledge you get. But also don’t have any constraints to charge for your knowledge.

    You should be aware that in the information age, you share information and content all the time, with every move you make behind your computer and, of course, every time you open your mouth. Every e‑mail, every social media update, every blog comment and content recommendation is part of your infostructure. Much like you should be very careful about the content you consume, so you should carefully watch what you share

    At the end of the day, what comes out of your mouth is more or less determined by what goes into your mind.

    Practical example

    My personal infostructure

    Now let’s get on the practical level. Let’s look at my own personal infostructure, the system of how I get information and how I handle it. First of all, I follow the asset-light living philosophy, so I have everything digitalized and own no physical books, magazines, CDs or any other material (except an exercise book for language learning). An important part of my infostructure are also my digital brains.

    I buy books on Amazon. I have a Kindle eReader and a Kindle app on my smartphone, tablet and PC. I try to read at least one book per week. Books are my primary source of acquiring new knowledge. The only magazine I read is the Harvard Business Review.

    Before I buy a book, I read the summary. I use Blinkist for book summaries and, from the bottom of my heart, I can say that it’s a really awesome app. If I like the summary, I buy and read the book. Next to that, I try to read at least one book summary per day. I read books/summaries at every opportunity I have. When I wake up, before I go to sleep, when I wait in lines, when I have a few minutes to waste, I open the Kindle app or Blinkist and I start reading.

    My Infostructure
    My favorite apps

    I use Feedly as a RSS app for the few blogs I’m subscribed to. I used to be subscribed to more than 100 blogs but I felt overloaded. Now I’m subscribed only to a few really good blogs from different niches (startups, internet marketing, personal development, productivity …). To be honest, I often run out of time to read the blog posts and I don’t put pressure on myself to read all the blog posts. I have no problem with having many unread blog posts as long as I read books on a daily basis. I used to be a big fan of reading apps, like Flipboard, etc., but now they’re more or less no different from reading the daily news. So again, I go back to books.

    I use Audible for audiobooks. I listen to audiobooks when I walk, wait in a queue and sometimes when I’m driving (if I’m well rested). I also listen to audiobooks when I’m doing the dishes and other chores. I don’t really listen to podcasts, except to Tai Lopez sometimes (or similar authors).

    MOOCs are an important part of my infostructure. I regularly buy courses on Udemy. I’m subscribed to Lynda, Threehouse and Tutsplus, especially now when I’m leveling up my IT competences. As a source of motivational talks, I watch TED Talks from time to time.

    I don’t watch TV at all. I don’t listen to the radio. I don’t read the daily news. I don’t participate in useless debates. And I don’t visit useless internet sites. I do watch TV shows from time to time, but with an upper limit of 3 hours per week (except when I’m ill and can’t do anything else than stare at either a TV screen or a wall). I’ve turned my social networks into a source of quality content. I do visit 9gag from time to time. That’s my weak point, I guess. When in any kind of dilemma, my philosophy is to go back to quality books. An even more important part of my philosophy is to apply the acquired knowledge and experience it for myself.

  • Every day is a new beginning

    Did you promise to yourself that you’ll eat healthy, but you just stuffed your face with pizza and sweets? Did you commit to being more careful with your money, but you’ve just wasted some of your money on something useless? Are you trying to become a better spouse, but you weren’t attentive enough to your partner throughout the day?

    Don’t guilt trip yourself. You can’t change your past. What’s done is done. Forgive yourself, ask for forgiveness if necessary, and move on. We’re all human and discipline is a weak muscle that sometimes doesn’t hold up under pressure. If you have a daily goal and you miss it some days, don’t think over and over again how could your discipline slackened and how weak of a person you are.

    Instead focus on tomorrow. Tomorrow is a new beginning, a new day to start over. Every day when you wake up, you have a new chance to prove yourself, follow your goals and invest into yourself to enjoy the compounding effects of yield in the future. Rather than blaming yourself, be aware that tomorrow is a new day and a new opportunity. And so is the day after tomorrow. Every day, you start at zero and you build up from there.

    Even more. Your every next decision is an opportunity to practice self-discipline and correct your mistakes. If you’ve eaten too much over lunch, say no to dinner or do extra training. If you were wasteful with money, save money on your next purchase. If you’ve just figured out you weren’t attentive enough to your partner, pick up your phone and send a loving message or kiss your spouse or whatever.

    Trust me, you’ll make mistakes even when committed to your goals. You can’t be 100 % disciplined all the time; and you will feel guilty when you slip. The more disciplined you are, the more guilt you’ll probably feel. But that’s wrong. That means becoming a bitter and mechanic robot in the long term. Be disciplined, but when your discipline muscle gives out, don’t hinder yourself additionally with guilt, blame and overthinking. Forgive yourself, forget it, move on and fix it with your next decision or start from scratch the next day when you wake up.

    Every day is a new beginning, every day is a new opportunity for you to start following your life vision. Just don’t make things harder than they already are. Enjoy life.

  • Living in the present moment

    There are some simple rules in life. If you live in your negative past, you soon become bitter, depressed or overwhelmed by regret. It’s a double knockdown by life (tough past, tough present) and a challenging negative spiral. If you’re afraid of not controlling your future completely or repeating your past mistakes in the upcoming times, you become a very anxious person. And if you aren’t aware of your personal power that you always have in the present moment, you can become a too extreme hedonist or a fatalist, going only where life kicks you; and life often kicks you where you certainly don’t want to be.

    Living in the past, living in the future or not being aware of your personal power in the present create a lot of pain in personal life. Emotional pain is, in a way, nothing but a kind of self-created inner resistance to external things that happened to you or are happening to you and you can’t control. You feel pain when you aren’t satisfied with how things are but don’t feel powerful enough to change them. You aren’t flexible enough, wise/rational enough or aware of the personal power that you possess in the present moment. The good news is that pain is most often an inner experience and, as I mentioned, a psychological resistance to the outer world, which means that you can do something about it and transform it. One way to do it is to live more in the present moment by developing wisdom and controlling your mind.

    As we’ve learned in the article Positive orientation towards your past, the best combination for improving your quality of life and eliminating pain is being positively oriented towards your past, a moderate hedonist in the present and goal-oriented towards your future; but not too goal-oriented towards your future, which also leads to you living in the future and forgetting to enjoy the present moment. That way, the past gives you strong roots and foundations, your present gives you feelings of personal power and proactive behavior, and your future gives you the wings to seize all the things you want in life as part of your life vision.

    Past Present Future
    Positives

    Negatives

    		 (moderate) Hedonist

    Fatalist

    		 Goal-oriented

    Afterlife rewards

    But living in the present isn’t that easy, so let’s look at some techniques that can help you shift your focus from painful parts of your past or desired future to the present moment. The tricks for living in the present moment are:

    • Developing Zen Buddhist wisdom
    • Holding your frame and thinking like a Stoic
    • Constantly paying attention to your needs and satisfying them
    • Having list of things you enjoy in personal life
    • Following general rules that contribute to happiness

    Possessing Zen Buddhist wisdom

    Zen is the Japanese form of the Sanskrit word dhyana, which means meditation. Zen is a school of Buddhism, most popular in Japan and the Western world, but it originated from China and was strongly influenced by Taoism. The foundation of Zen philosophy is that an individual’s goal should be to develop their mind, which leads to personal wisdom and personal freedom.

    Mental development can especially be achieved with mediation and concentration. As Buddha said, a human mind is filled with drunken monkeys, jumping around, screeching, chattering, carrying on endlessly. You can’t banish or fight the monkeys because of resistance, but you can calm them down by focusing on your breathing and a positive mantra.

    The final goal of mental development and training your brain monkeys is to cultivate the ability to respond to each moment with wisdom, compassion, generosity, kindness, creativity and responsibility.

    Here’s a cool definition of Zen from Urban Dictionary: “A total state of focus that incorporates a total togetherness of body and mind. Zen is a way of being. It also is a state of mind. Zen involves dropping illusion and seeing things without distortion created by your own thoughts.”

    As I mentioned, paying attention to your breathing and your mind with meditation are the key tools of Zen Buddhism, but Zen philosophy also offers many wise ideas for coping with everyday problems and changing the way we look at things.

    Zen wisdom for coping with everyday problems

    Everything that happens to you is the best possible thing that can happen to you in a specific moment for the fastest learning and growth. Universe (or whoever) hits you where it hurts the most so that you become stronger and grow in life where you’re weak. Consequently, you develop into a better version of yourself.

    Nonetheless, life gives you only challenges that you are capable of overcoming, no matter how difficult they are. The problems you face in life are never harder than your character. That’s the philosophy you should follow when things go wrong. But what if you desire something you don’t have? Everything in life happens when the right time comes and never sooner. You have to be ready and wise enough for a change or something new in your life or something you desire. You have to follow the process, and compound wisdom. You only reap what you sow.

    Nevertheless, happiness or sadness aren’t the consequences of what’s happening to you, but how you interpret what’s happening to you. You can always change your angle (how you look at things) and that is the biggest power you have in life. You can always change your thinking, because your mind is everything and you become what you think. Your beliefs become your thoughts, your thoughts become your words, your actions become your habits, and your habits become your values and destiny.

    Even your worst enemy can’t hurt you as badly as your untamed mind can. As mentioned before, to tame your mind (or monkeys, if you want) you should pay attention to your breathing and to your thoughts, but there’s also another trick. You can switch your focus from your mind to your body. Your body is always giving you feedback on what’s really important for you in a certain moment. Always listen to your body.

    To live more in the present moment, you shouldn’t make great plans for the future, but instead be constantly aware of your surroundings in the state of active waiting. Active waiting means no day-dreaming, planning, thinking about your past or any other distractions. It means just doing your job in the present moment, like you’re aware that something serious or very important could happen at any moment. Don’t waste your inner resources to create problems and wasteful thinking.

    You have to be grateful for what you have and you have to learn how to forgive in life. How to let go. Be happy with what you currently have and who you are. Nobody can take that away from you.

    Last but not least, nothing gets destroyed or vanished, it only changes its form. Life is energy and you should have as positive energy as possible. Here’s a nice story that teaches you how to let go:

    An elder and a young monk were making a pilgrimage together. One day, they came to a deep river with a strong current. At the edge of the river, a young woman sat weeping, because she was afraid to cross the river without help. She begged the two monks to help her.

    Since the members of their order were forbidden to touch women, the younger monk turned his back to the woman. But the elder monk volunteered and carried the woman across the river. The junior monk was very upset, but said nothing for a long time.

    At the end of the day, the elder monk noticed that his younger friend was very upset and asked him if something is wrong. The younger monk explained that he is very upset because as monks, they aren’t permitted to touch women, but he dared carry the woman on his shoulders. The elder monk replied “I only carried her across the river. You’ve been carrying her all day.”

    Let go when it’s time to let go. As I mentioned, there are two main tools that Zen Buddhists use to control their minds (train the monkey mind) and to live more in the present moment:

    • Meditation
    • Breathing control

    Daily Meditation

    Meditation

    The most important tool of Zen Buddhists for learning how to control your mind is meditation. It’s scientifically proven that meditation helps you a lot with relaxation and taming your mind. Actually, your brain physically changes with regular meditation and increases your capacity for creativity, focus and managing anxiety. I know so many people who claim that meditation changed their lives. You can find many different forms and types of meditation, but for a busy lifestyle, Transcendental Meditation, that you practice 20 minutes twice a day, is quite popular and probably the best fit.

    I don’t do anything advanced and regular, because I prefer self-reflection to meditation. Nevertheless, I sometimes use the Headspace application and meditate for 10 minutes in the morning when I wake up. A good alternative to meditation that can definitely help you in the same way is yoga. If you have problems with living in the present moment, meditation, yoga or proper breathing can do miracles for you, besides hardcore psychological therapy (psychoanalysis, cognitive psychology etc.).

    Learn how to breathe properly

    If you want to live in the present moment, you have to learn how to breathe properly. It may sound strange, but a lot of people don’t know how to breathe the right way and there is a strong connection between your thoughts, feelings, posture and breathing. You can find many resources online on why proper breathing is important, but you may start with two simple exercises explained below and then continue with more advanced techniques.

    1-4-2 Formula

    I use the 1-4-2 formula exercise to have better awareness of my breathing, develop lung capacity and accelerate the cleaning of toxins from capillary veins.

    I especially like doing this exercise when I take a walk in nature and thus fill my lungs with fresh air and my mind with positive thoughts. I learned this technique from the world-known self-help Guru Anthony Robbins.

    The 1-4-2 is the ratio for how many seconds you breathe in, hold your breath and breathe out. I use 5 seconds to slowly breathe in air, then I hold my breath for 20 seconds and slowly exhale air for 10 seconds. I repeat that 3 to 5 times. If you get dizzy, you can try with shorter periods (3 seconds, 12 seconds, 6 seconds or even less) or at the very beginning, you can instead start with the belly breathing exercise.

    Belly Breathing

    You can find a lot of information online about belly breathing, but to summarize it, you sit down in a relaxed position. You put your right hand on your stomach. You slowly breathe in through your nose and make sure that your stomach expands first and then your lungs. Your hand on your belly should move first and then your lungs should be filled with air.

    Then you breathe out and first you empty your lungs and then your belly, and while doing it, you pull your stomach and hand inwards, towards your spine. You should repeat that 20 – 30 times and you will definitely feel more relaxed. You’ll slowly learn how to control your breathing and breathe more properly, that is by engaging your belly more than your lungs.

    Thinking like a Stoic

    The second very influential ancient philosophy that can help you with living in the present moment is the Stoic Philosophy. Many ideas are quite similar to Zen philosophy, but we can still find a few additional useful ideas. Stoicism is a school of Hellenistic philosophy founded in Ancient Greece by Zeno of Citium (born in Cyprus) somewhere in the 3rd century BC.

    For many centuries, Stoicism was one of the most influential philosophies in Ancient Greece and Ancient Roman Empire. The four core virtues of Stoic philosophy are wisdom, courage, justice and temperance. Some of the most famous Stoics were Seneca, Epictetus and one of the wisest Roman Emperors, Marcus Aurelius (his book Meditations is one of my favorite books).

    Here is a cool definition of a Stoic person from Urban Dictionary: “A Stoic is someone who does not give a shit about the stupid things in this world that most people care so much about. Stoics do have emotions, but only for the things in this world that really matter. They are the most real people alive.”

    The fist important idea of Stoicism, that you’re already familiar with from Zen Buddhism, is that hedonism isn’t really the true path to happiness in life. You have to be a moderate hedonist in life, but living only for fun, fame and fortune isn’t the right path. They’re all overrated and don’t bring real happiness in life, especially because they depend on other people, items and circumstances, and are therefore always easy to lose. Excessive hedonism is the counter-point to Stoicism.

    Don’t get me wrong: fun, fame and fortune are important and do hold value, and are part of a good life, but they shouldn’t distract you from the only thing that can really bring happiness in life, which is an excellent, rational and wise mental state.

    Much like Zen Buddhists, Stoics also advocate the idea that everything is temporary. Therefore you shouldn’t really be deeply and unhealthy attached to anything in life, neither material things nor relationships or any ideas. The more attached you are, the greater the pain somewhere in the future (and less lean and agile you are). Have nothing in life that you aren’t prepared to lose. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love, but true love doesn’t mean control, unhealthy attachment and possessiveness.

    Even if nothing lasts forever, you can extend the longevity of things and relationships you have in life with positive actions, regular maintenance, constant growth and personal improvement. The good news is also that even your unhappiness or misfortune are only temporary, like everything else in life. You should also resist materialism and live a minimalistic life. You should live as simply as possible.

    If you’re unhappy, it’s your fault. Nobody else’s, only yours. If other people are unhappy, it’s entirely their fault and you shouldn’t try to make them happy, because you will fail. Don’t try to change other people and don’t expect other people to change you. All that can be changed is you changing yourself. You should strive to maximize your positive emotions and minimize negative emotions. Not with hedonism, but by controlling you mind, behavior and healthy mental blueprint.

    The most important part of a healthy mental blueprint is that you don’t look for ideal situations in life, because they don’t exist. You should also learn to accept things that aren’t in your control. And as mentioned, always be aware that outer things, like possessions and other people, can’t make you happy. Nevertheless, you can find satisfaction and happiness through the actions you take with things and relationships. For example, a computer can’t make you happy, but what you can do with a computer can, because it helps you create value and contribute.

    You should have the strength to accept the things you cannot change in life, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

    You should never feel like a victim, because it takes away your personal power. You can always regroup and rephrase your goals so that you have more control, even if it only means changing the angle of how you look at things. In the end, the ultimate control you have is the control over your judgments and your mental state or, in other words, how you interpret the things that happen to you.

    Last but not least, you should respect and live in accordance with the human nature. Being a part of nature means that you’re a small part of a larger, organic system, shaped by many processes that are out of your control, including the behavior and actions of other people. Nonetheless, humans are predictable and you should pay attention not to what a person says but to how they behave (what they do).

    Living in accordance with nature also means that hardship, pain, suffering and, of course, also death are all parts of nature and life, and thus inevitable. Life is like a river with a strong current: you can’t paddle against it, but you can decide whether you’re going to resist and suffer or accept it and handle it with good grace.

    In order to accept life with good grace, you should invest a lot of effort into the struggle of controlling yourself. Do what you can, and be happy for your personal efforts and progress in life. If at first you don’t succeed, then try again and again. Don’t be afraid of slow improvement, be afraid of stopping and becoming a zombie. Your capacity for self-improvement and overcoming adversity in life isn’t fixed, but it can be increased with training and a selective, but progressive, exposure to stress. Or, in other words, regularly going out of the comfort zone.

    Reframing

    Optimal thinking, cognitive reframing and holding your frame

    As we’ve learned, the only thing that can really bring happiness in life is an excellent, rational and wise mental state. It’s also called optimal thinking. You should always ask yourself: what is the optimal thinking in my current situation? You’ll most often find that optimal thinking consists of the Zen and Stoic philosophies. No matter how bad of a situation you’re in, your best option is always to remind yourself of the following facts:

    • Nothing lasts forever and this too shall pass.
    • There is no ideal situation in life and pain is an inevitable part of it.
    • I should make fun of winter with a cold morning shower.
    • Life wants me to fight and grow, so I won’t feel sorry for myself and be a victim.
    • My challenges are never bigger than my character or more important than my why.
    • I can always find the positive in a negative situation.
    • I should take a deep breath, smile, and innovate my way out.
    • I have to focus on the positive and take action.
    • You’re the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success. Act like it.

    Every time you feel sorry for yourself, you should reframe your thoughts and change how you look at things. Cognitive reframing is a way of viewing and experiencing events, ideas, concepts and emotions to find more positive alternatives. Frame is the filter through which you perceive reality, and you can always find a new better frame. When you do, you should hold it strongly, because your mind (monkey), together with your emotions, will try to wander. Don’t slack off, hold your frame no matter what.

    Paying attention and satisfying your needs

    It’s true that you must have realistic expectations in life and not lose yourself in hedonism or materialism. Next to that, you also have to manage your ego and detach yourself from unhealthy attachments. But that’s only one part of the equation. As we said, you also have to be a moderate hedonist in the present.

    That means that you must pay close attention to your needs and you must strive to satisfy these needs. You have to find the right balance between two extremes – one extreme being a monk, having absolutely nothing and detaching himself from everything, and the other extreme being a greedy, perpetually dissatisfied person only looking for surrogates (money, addictions etc.) to replace the lack of loving and healthy relationships and creating valuable things while enjoying the work.

    It’s very easy to blame ego for both extremes, but poor ego does nothing but serves three masters and does what it can to bring them into harmony with one another. The three masters are id (primitive impulses), superego (rules, conflicts, morals etc.) and the external world with all its limitations. So you shouldn’t blame the ego for your unhappiness. You should pay more attention to your needs and find the right balance between id, superego and external limitations. A bitter person is a person who doesn’t pay attention to their real needs and doesn’t enjoy life. Therefore you should work hard on self-reflection and:

    • Know what you want in life and enjoy it every day. Start with your life vision.
    • Strive to have loving and deep relationships and a feeling of inner security
    • Cultivate more rough energies and feelings (aggression, hate etc.) and wishes that can’t be fulfilled through sublimation (where wishes are channeled rather than dammed or diverted) with doing meaningful work, sports, arts, following meaningful goals and having a sense of humor
    • Be an outstanding communicator and learn to communicate your wishes and desires with yourself and others
    • Just do it, act, you have every right to fulfill your desires in the right civilized way

    List of all the things you enjoy

    It may sound silly, but if you don’t know how to be a moderate hedonist in life, you have to learn it. The first step you should do, if you don’t know how to properly enjoy life, is to make a list of all the things you really enjoy in life. The point of this exercise is just to become aware of all the things that make you happy and give you satisfaction in life. This exercise is especially important if you’re a workaholic or don’t know how to relax and enjoy everyday life.

    The more bitter, tense and serious you are, the less you probably know how to really enjoy life and relax. You may not even know what really makes you happy and which things you enjoy. Therefore sit down, take a piece of paper and think of all the times in life when you forgot about the time and everything around you; think about the precious moments when you lost yourself in the moment and just really enjoyed the happening in the flow.

    Here you can find my list, as an example, since I’m an extremely serious person and often forget how to enjoy life. From time to time, I look at the list and remind myself that I’m also here on this planet to enjoy life and experience as many things as possible.

    General rules of personal happiness

    Now it’s time to go from the philosophical level to more practical advice for other things you can do to be happier in life and live more in the present moment. There are seven general rules that contribute to your happiness and your ability to live more in the present. They can’t really make you happy per se, but if you follow the rules, you have greater chances of really being happy and a moderate hedonist in the present. If you have the right mental blueprint (framework) and a compassionate inner dialogue, these things do add to your everyday quality of life.

    Have enough margin on a daily basis

    You simply can’t live a happy and stress-free life if you don’t have enough margin in life. You can’t live happily in the present moment if you’re drowning in work, debt or negative relationships. Margin is the space between your load and your limits. Margin is the opposite of overload and a bigger margin leads to higher quality and happiness in life. Make sure you have enough margin to function without feeling overwhelmed day by day.

    Here are some ideas for increasing margin in your life:

    • Clean up your to-do list
    • Kill some projects that don’t bring a lot of value
    • Don’t go out every weekend but take time for yourself
    • Delete all unread e-mails that are older than two weeks
    • Change your phone number and give it only to a few people
    • Delete your social media accounts
    • Get rid of your smart phone etc.
    • Have an emergency fund for at least 6 months of your monthly costs

    Exercise regularly

    Healthy mind in a healthy body. Period. There are so many benefits of exercise, but you already know that. Especially doing exercise in nature. Here, you can find 50 benefits of exercise and physical activity.

    If you don’t like to exercise, walk 30 minutes every day. Walk to your office. Walk and talk with your spouse in the afternoon in the nature. As an alternative, you can also exercise by taking care of your garden or doing a sport you love or anything else that gets your body moving.

    Even better than just walking is torturing your fat until it cries (a.k.a. sweats) like a little baby four to five times per week. Combine aerobic and anaerobic exercise and regularly take care of your body with grooming, spa, massages and so on.

    Next to that, get enough sleep every night, eat healthy and don’t forget about passionate sex. Drink enough water, add veggies to every meal and help yourself with food supplements if needed. Also take care of your posture and flexibility.

    Never forget that your body is the vessel that holds your soul. Your body is a temple you must take care of. Your first priority should be to take care of yourself and your temple. An ill, obese or burnt-out person is rarely a happy person. So take care of your body and you’ll be repaid in many forms, including being happier in life. Exercise should be a part of you being a moderate hedonist in the present, day by day. At the end of the day, you’re always only one workout away from good mood.

    Stay fit to have great sex

    Have deep connections and socialize

    Greed, lust, envy, addictions and other destructive behaviors are all forms of a low capacity for love. They drag you away from personal happiness and real enjoyment of life. If you want to be happy in life, you have to love yourself first, develop a great capacity for love (feeling of inner security), and then you can also love others with all your heart. Love, not control or unhealthy attachment.

    Have deep connections and socialize enough with:

    • Your spouse
    • Your primary and secondary family
    • Your friends

    You need three strong pillars of love and deep connections. Your spouse, your family and your friends. Deep and loving connections will fill you with love, joy and happiness. If you don’t socialize enough and spend quality time with the people you love, you have zero chances of being happy in life. Love yourself, be connected, and love other people. Life can be tough and we’re here to help each other with loving and supportive energies.

    Work on something meaningful

    You can’t be a happy person and live in the present moment if you hate your job. You spend more than a third of your time at your workplace. If you don’t like what you do and the culture of the company where you work, you’ll be miserable. You simply can’t be happy if you spend 8 – 10 hours in a place you hate. Emotions carry over to you from the atmosphere and other people you spend time with. Unhappy people, unhappy environment, unhappy you; not living in the present moment but only feeling sorry for yourself and living a fatalist life.

    Therefore a very important goal you should have in life in order to be happy is finding meaningful work and an environment where you can thrive. You must feel good about your work and contributing to the society, creating value and being a part of an organization that has encouraging culture and a powerful mission. That kind of an environment and people won’t come to you, you have to fight and find your fit.

    People who love their job thrive, people who hate their job die inside.

    When you’re working, you should be in the flow for as much time as possible. The flow is an elusive state of hyper-performance where you forget about everything and just create, create and create. Hours can pass without you noticing. Usually it’s for a task that’s a little bit more challenging than your skillset and you just can’t wait to undertake the challenge, learn, create value and overcome any obstacle on the path. That means being fully in the present moment in a god-like state.

    At this point, we also have to mention money. Up to 100.000 $ of annual income (depends on where you live, of course, but let’s say around double the average salary), money is a great contributor to happiness and living a relaxed life in the present moment. After that, money can’t really contribute to your happiness anymore. If you’re poor, you definitely have a hard time being happy.

    Forget the myth that poor and fat people are happy people. Money solves many problems in life. You shouldn’t expect that money will make you happy, but you need to develop your competence level to the point where you earn enough money and being poor doesn’t take away your happiness.

    • Step 1: Develop emotional security and strong social connections.
    • Step 2: Develop enough inner resources (competences) that you trust yourself and know you can always create enough outer resources. Find meaningful work that you will master and enjoy, and with which you will contribute to the world.
    • Step 3: Earn enough money and have enough wealth that you don’t struggle by living from paycheck to paycheck.

    The path matters, not the end

    For everything you want in life, there’s always a process before the final event (getting what you want). Respect and follow the process, and you’ll get to the goal someday. It’s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly. In other words, the only place where success comes before hard work is in the dictionary. Everything you want in life, you can get by following a carefully orchestrated process.

    But you should definitely enjoy the whole process not only the final event. You should enjoy learning, growing, overcoming obstacles, facing new challenges and finding new, better ways to do things. You should enjoy innovating, day-to-day work and unexpected challenges while staying agile about how you will get to your goal. Success is never a linear path. Focus on the process, focus on the path and just enjoy the ride. It’s an important part of the life experience.

    Trust yourself and have faith in life

    Have you ever asked yourself why some people are happy by default and others aren’t? Well, most often the reason is that they were raised in a positive and happy environment, where they were able to develop inner security and faith in life. Their inner dialog is positive, they believe in themselves, they trust in life and, as optimists, look on the bright side of life.

    If you want to be happy, you also need to develop that kind of inner security and faith in life, if you haven’t gotten it from your primary and secondary socialization. There are many tools for developing more psychological capital and faith in life and inner security, from cognitive psychology, psychotherapy, meditation, transactional analysis, trauma release exercises, yoga, neuro-linguistic programming and many other methods. You must find the method that works for you and suits you best.

    If you’re insecure, everything that doesn’t go according to your expectations will annoy you and negative feelings will prevail. The more insecure you are, the smaller the things that will drive you mad and throw you off. You can’t be happy if you’re constantly mad. You can’t be happy if you don’t know how to adapt and stay flexible. So if you aren’t feeling emotionally secure, that is where you should begin to feel happier in life and live more in the present moment.

    At this point, it’s also important to mention overall realistic expectations. With all the exposure to ads, marketing and products, we often gain unrealistic expectations for life. According to the media world, you should be beautiful, smart, rich, stylish and a hundred other things. That’s totally unrealistic. The more unrealistic expectations you have towards life, the greater the disappointments that await you; and there goes your happiness. Thus you must have realistic expectations towards your life and what you can achieve and experience.

    Have positive thoughts

    You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind. Only positive thoughts are the ones that lead to happiness. But what are positive thoughts, really? Positive thoughts are the thoughts of connecting. You can’t have a positive and a negative thought at the same time. You also can’t have a thought of connecting and a thought of division at the same time. You either bring closer or push away.

    Thoughts of connecting are thoughts that bring everything closer, and their energy is gentle, tolerant, open, creative and welcoming. Every time your thoughts aren’t connecting people, ideas and things, flip your mind over and do the opposite. Connect.

    • Do you want to gossip about your coworker? Invite them for coffee instead.
    • Are you mad at your partner for not putting down the toilet lid? Hug and kiss them good night instead, and just forget about it.
    • You don’t like something about yourself and it’s all over your mind? Instead find positive things about yourself and change your inner dialogue. Be more connected to yourself.

    Things aren’t that simple, of course. You can’t just start thinking positively. If your mind is occupied with negative thoughts and cognitive distortions a lot, you can help yourself with emotional accounting. First of all, count all your negative thoughts, just to become aware of them. In the second step, start correcting your negative thoughts. For example: if your initial thought is “I’m so clumsy”, correct it with something like “I may sometimes spill milk, but so do other people and it only happens to me occasionally, therefore I’m not really clumsy.” Here you can learn more about how to do emotional accounting. If that is too hard for you, start with listening to your body as mentioned in the beginning of this blog post.

    Additional ideas for living in the present moment

    To slowly end the article, here are ten additional ideas that may help you live more in the present moment:

    • Do one thing at a time. Use different speeds for different types of tasks.
    • Do that one thing with an inner smile, slowly and consistently
    • Shut down all your smart devices, IM apps, and everything else that distracts you.
    • Take 5 minutes off and stretch.
    • Walk more slowly and eat more slowly.
    • Be grateful and appreciate that another day was given to you.
    • Hug the people you love and compliment the people you meet.
    • Remind yourself of your whys and that they’re much more important than any problem or worry you have to face in life.
    • Say Fuck it out loud when something goes wrong and continue with your work.
    • Only spend time with people who are happy most of the time and who support you.